In The Distance
I was beating myself up today as I was feeling stuck like my wheels were spinning with no traction.
The negative self-talk was oozing up and ready to spill over.
But, luckily, I caught myself.
I was beating myself up today as I was feeling stuck like my wheels were spinning with no traction.
The negative self-talk was oozing up and ready to spill over.
But, luckily, I caught myself.
Everyone needs a compass, but most of us don’t know how to use it.
Daily decisions that seem small are what cause us to veer off course.
It’s not about making monumental changes but small microscopic alterations in our daily decision-making to change the future narrative.
But why do we have a hard time doing it?
The only reason we are scared to go to therapy is we might realize we’re fucked up.
News Flash: we’re all fucked up one way or another.
Better to find out the reason behind it so we can start working on it.
Have you ever left a job you once loved only to start a new one and believe it’s now the greatest thing in the world?
The same can be said for a relationship that goes sour but the next one happens to be unbelievable.
When these things happen it should give us a slight pause. Are we running toward something or running away from something else?
One of the best forms of therapy is reading and reflecting. We are able to sit quietly and ponder a new thought we’d never considered before.We can go deeper inside ourselves, explore our interpretation, and battle with how it is making us feel.
Have you woken up in the middle of the night, couldn’t fall back to sleep, and are pondering what the fuck you’re doing with your life?
It’s me. Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.
The common phrase is “Be so good they can’t ignore you.”
Even better, “Be so aware you can’t ignore yourself.”
There’s a reason we call consistent maintenance on our vehicles “routine” or “preventive”. It’s so that we don’t go without checking in and understanding where it needs some work before it breaks down completely.
How honest are we with ourselves about our own “routine maintenance”?
Do we prioritize this at all?
Don’t fall for the misdirection, the rabbit being pulled out of the hat, the flash mob.
We are often blinded by the “vocal minority” and the “dog and pony show” that is going on.
It dominates the narrative but we can’t fall for the trap of getting sucked into it.
Some people don’t like journaling. It takes time, effort, and the willingness to bring our deepest thoughts into the world.
It can be scary.
But I’ll encourage you to try it.
Why?
It’s difficult to help others when we haven’t helped ourselves first.
We need to get our house in order.
We owe it to ourselves to do the work necessary to understand why we are feeling at our worst and what makes us energized at our best.
A question I’ve pondered in recent years which has been one of the catalysts to personal growth is, “What could I be wrong about?”
If we are open to the uncomfortableness that comes with the answer it will unequivocally alter our perspective.
Like a detective, we are more aware of our surroundings and look for clues that may inform us of a deeper truth.
I’ve been bleeding the Just Get Started mission for several years.
The Podcast.
The Blogging.
The Children’s Books.
The Sales Consulting.
The Coaching calls and guidance.
The venturing out into the dark wilderness.
What have you changed your mind on in the past year?
Growth isn’t about doubling down on our beliefs and digging our heels in but recognizing that there is a big world out there filled with new ideas and different perspectives.
Why are you going so fast?
Where are you trying to rush to?
Have you considered what you’re missing out on right now?
Look around, smell the roses, and take in the fact that you get to be in this moment.
Soon enough, it’ll pass us by.
Replace “Fear of missing out” with “Joy of missing out” and a next level mindset shift happens.
We begin to choose ourselves.
Happiness flows from there.
When I was 30 years old I was:
Entitled
Complacent
Unorganized
Undisciplined
Closed-minded
In loads of debt
Can we honestly say to ourselves, “I’m happy today?”
If we can it’s important to understand why? What is happening or has happened where we feel this moment, right now, is a moment of happiness? We can’t repeat it exactly but we can work to replicate it again and again.
If we don’t like our shirt, we change it.
If we don’t like our job, we get a new one.
If we don’t like our relationships, we end them.
If we don’t like our thoughts, we can change them, too.
What was the 2013 version of ourselves doing back then?
What do you think the 2033 version will be doing?
We’ve come so far.
Imagine what some focused effort and decision-making can do for us over these next 10 years.
20 years into the future, our 2013 version will come to be unrecognizable.
We are happier more often when we’ve found fulfillment in life.
When we have a responsibility or purpose.
When we have a grasp on things.
EPISODE 311
New York Times Bestselling Author and Co-host of the Popular Podcast, Awareness Explorers
It’s funny when we reflect back on our past and almost don’t recognize the person we used to be.
It should give us confidence that whatever we are going through today can be overcome and used as a stepping stone to a better future.
Embrace the suck, it won’t always be this way.
Have you ever looked at a 10-year olds room? Do you remember yours at that age?
It’s messy. It’s sloppy. It’s disorganized. It can be disgusting.
Because they are 10. They have bigger priorities than keeping their room tidy.
Our effort is the telltale sign that we care.
When we put the effort, into anything, it proves that we are committed to this thing.
This purpose, this relationship, this mindset, this pursuit of happiness.
We can’t see the forest through the trees. We also don’t know how big it is. Are we standing in someone’s one-acre backyard or in the Amazon rainforest?
Oftentimes, our problems can get pushed to the side and avoided for a short time but if they go unresolved they can resurface and weigh us down creating a bigger burden than if we addressed them head-on.
The greats aren’t great because they were born great.
They are great because they get up, every day, determined to make a difference in their lives.
They made something out of what they had.
I rarely recognized how the noise around me was cluttering my mind and distracting me from creating the life that I wanted.
Have you ever felt this way?
We’re about to do something but the “buzz” in our pocket takes us away from focusing on the things that really matter.
That “buzz” can be a metaphor for any distraction we come across.
We can get it in our heads that if we’re not moving forward, fast and furious, then we will be left behind.
This is one of the self-limiting beliefs I had for many years. The notion that there is some race.
What I’ve come to realize is that we can all move forward, extremely fast, but it comes at a big cost. We rush projects, we rush parenting, we rush our partners. We are so worried about the days ahead that we forget the moment we are in right now.
Before we use a telescope make sure we look into the microscope.
Our thoughts shape our mindset.
Our mindset shapes our actions.
Our future, although unclear, is being shaped by each one of our decisions today.
They say, “out with the old and in with the new” but let’s make sure we don’t completely forget.
Wounds heal over time but, like a tattoo, the scars remain present where we can see them from time to time. They offer a glimpse into the past if we have the courage to look back.
Knowledge is knowing that you can accomplish something.
Wisdom is recognizing that there are many ways to do it and many factors that determine the outcome.
Self-awareness, humility, and our openness to learn become the building blocks to better decision-making and take us from a place of knowledge to where wisdom can take over.
If we’re chasing something, we’ll never be happy.
Chasing money
Chasing fame
Chasing a partner
It never works out favorably.
When many people are following the crowd one way, it’s okay to turn the other way down the dark alley and start on your own path.
Just because the masses are doing one thing doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you.
How many times would we sit idle in class when the teacher asked if there were any questions only because we didn’t want to be the one who looked like we didn’t understand?
We assumed if nobody else raised their hands then we were the only incompetent ones.
Our conditioning at the time blinded our thinking.
All of these questions have an answer.
Why do we argue?
Why do we fight?
Why do we turn a blind eye to someone in need?
Why do we make an unethical decision?
Why do we talk down to ourselves?
Why are we never enough?
Continuing to discover our purpose is a valuable practice every day.
It does wonders for our psyche.
It allows us to feel like we are making strides forward even if we are sitting still.
Because living your purpose doesn’t always mean you have to be “on”
Change is constant and change will happen.
We are either a part of that change or we are fighting against it.
Our body changes as we age but if we’ve been focusing on fitness and healthy eating, that change is quite delayed. If we haven’t, we start to feel those effects compound over time. Building healthy habits early on and sticking with them help form a foundation for us to live each day by.
Don’t underestimate the power of reflection. The 2015 version of you probably went through some shit to help make you the person you are today.
Embrace that, don’t suppress it.
Be okay with asking “Why?” and sitting with that answer for a bit.
One of the more interesting things about social media is that we can get judged very often, both directly and indirectly. Comments and likes and DMs and even a “non-response” could be perceived a certain way.
But then there’s the “unfollow”. Someone took the time to follow and look at your stuff and then at some point realized it’s not for them.
We have to get comfortable with this. Rejection is a part of life. People will come and go. This happens on social media and in “real life” outside of it.
Bracing through a storm can be very challenging but it’s when we see the flowers start to bloom on the other side we knew it was worth it.
We shouldn’t look at every bad situation and think it’s the end of the world.
We are told growing up that we have to cut the paper neatly without making a mistake or that we need to be sure to take our time and color between the lines. “That’ll look the best”, we were told and we were compared to others in our class who appeared much better and more skilled at us.
I used to never want to celebrate my birthday. I was shy and didn’t like the attention. Part of it was growing up a middle child and never feeling like I fit in. Part of it was that I felt awkward and uncomfortable in the limelight.
But there was a part of me that wanted the attention, that craved it because I never felt I had any. It’s a weird paradox.
If we’re not getting the results we want we could consider a few things:
It’s too early, we haven’t given ourselves enough time
We’re wrong – what we thought would work wasn’t correct and it’s time to pivot
We’re asking the wrong people – Audit your group that is sharing advice
We’re not talking to the right audience – We might have something magical but it’s not the right group of people who would benefit from it.
Precious metals and jewels are generally not found on the surface. There is a lot of digging and excavation that has to happen to get to them. Then, there is additional shaving and cleaning and sifting that happens to finally get to a clear piece of material. It can be exhausting and excruciating but rewarding in the end.
We either believe we have the ability to change our surroundings, circumstances, relationships, etc or we don’t.
Instead of running away, we should be seeking, chasing, and trying to plan more of those moments as they might end up giving us the fuel we need to power us to the next level of our growth.
Most relationships don’t end later on down the line like it appears they do. Generally, when a relationship ends it was going sideways for a long time before.
When we tie our self-worth to what we see others doing online we put our minds in a place of false reality. We trick ourselves into thinking this is real.
EPISODE 184
Esteemed Wealth Advisor // Leader in the Self-Mastery Movement
Blocking out the noise and going to do what we feel compelled to do sounds easier said than done at times. We often hear the opinions of others and let that in some way give us a false start and second guess the endeavors or ideas we want to go tackle.
Some days zip by in a jiffy. Others tend to meander through a long winding space and feel slow and calm.
Greatness is hard for an individual person to conclude on their own. Although we might be able to lay out several areas that are worthy of the answer we can often skew the results with what we want to consider our “strengths” when they may not exactly be that. Ego gets in the way a lot.
Our world wants big and bold and lavish lifestyles. We see it all over mainstream media. The “keeping up with the Joneses” ideals seem real. That’s at least the stories we were told growing up.
We all deal with stress in our own way and I’ve found that most of the “dealing” is rooted in childhood behaviors and situations that are not going away any time soon. There is hope though that you can change those behaviors and become a person who can deal with stress much better or whatever challenges you’d like to overcome.
Well, I knew it would happen at some point and my impulses to jump on a new idea would shake up my Dozen Months of Discovery.
It’s a new year, a new decade, and a clean slate to get it all right this year. “This is going to be my year”, It seems is the type of thing we say to ourselves each orbit around the sun. Why will this year be any different? What have you learned in the past 12 months that will make you believe you can change?