The Success Trap

We have a hard time getting off the starting line because we haven’t defined what success looks like.

“Success” is often defined in the mainstream as lots of money, a big business, luxury toys, enormous houses, or exotic trips. People who are deemed “successful” may have fame or notoriety.

But is that your definition?

It might be staying healthy and fit.
It might be walking your kids to school.
It might be having the ability to help others.
It might be freedom to live where you want.
It may be doing things that give you ultimate joy.

Success can be a lot of different things.

When we are working off of someone else’s definition we become stuck.

Create your own and notice how your decisions and focus change.

You now have a clearer direction to move in.

It becomes much easier to start that way.

The Success Trap2022-12-10T16:29:34-04:00

Priority Shipping

We have to stop saying we don’t have the time.

We have time.

We don’t have it as a priority.

If we did, we’d accomplish it. It’d be the first thing we check off the list.

Often, the thing that is most important to us might also scare the hell out of us. So, we find reasons not to do it. We push it aside. We say we’ll get it done tomorrow.

Most of the other stuff on our list isn’t of high priority. It can wait.

We have to stop putting our dreams on hold for another day. For the time when we feel ready. We’ll never be fully ready. We’ll always have doubts. We’ll always question the path forward.

We have to start anyways.

Put all of the other shit aside for a moment.

Accept what is truly important and spend time on that, every day, even if it is just for a few moments. Advancing it forward, at a slow speed, adds up over a long time horizon.

But we never move off the starting line if we don’t actually start.

Priority Shipping2022-11-21T21:05:13-04:00
  • Jon Vroman Profile Headshot

Jon Vroman

JON VROMAN

EPISODE 275: Founder, Front Row Dads

Jon Vroman Profile Headshot

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Episode 275 features Jon Vroman, Founder of Front Row Dads, which has become a diverse group of 230 dads from 12 different countries who share a common bond of choosing to put family first as they grow their businesses.

During the episode, Jon mentions a great resource to pick us is 15 Commitments to Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer: Buy it here

Find Jon Online:

Website: https://frontrowdads.com/

Front Row Dads Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/front-row-dads-family-men-with-businesses/id1344850656?mt=2

About Jon:

Jon Vroman founded Front Row Dads because he wanted to win at home and not just at work.

Over the last 5 years, Front Row Dads has become a diverse group of 230 dads from 12 different countries who share a common bond of choosing to put family first as they grow their businesses.

The mission of Front Row Dads is to help men deepen their connection with their children and build a family legacy that they’re proud of.

Outside of the podcast, live events, and online summits, FRD has a highly engaged membership that supports each dad in aligning with his family values and staying committed to the most important people in his life.

Jon has been featured on Today Show and Inc.com for his work in helping others “Live Life In The Front Row™”. He’s been requested to speak for the US Navy, Vitamix, Dove, Keller Williams Realty, Entrepreneurs Organization, and many others.

As the author of the #1 bestselling book, The Front Row Factor, he shares inspiring stories, compelling science, and life strategies that challenge you to explore your values, establish priorities and reconnect to a higher purpose and deeper meaning within your life.

In 2005, Jon founded FrontRowFoundation.org, a charity that helps individuals who are braving life-threatening illnesses, to experience the event of their dreams, from the front row.

……..

If you enjoyed this interview you may also like my Just Get Started Podcast Interview with Seth Godin, Author, Founder and Speaker

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Jon Vroman2022-08-27T12:38:16-04:00

Bold Strategy

We get so caught up with big and bold. Be seen, be heard, be cheered.

But it’s actually the moments that most people don’t witness that are the most important to a happy life.

It’s reading a book to your kids and giving them a hug and kiss goodnight.

It’s a “how are you doing today?” with a significant other that turns into a long conversation.

It’s being able to sit with ourselves and be stress-free.

Those moments take up the majority of our lives. Those simple, “uneventful” moments almost get forgotten because they are routine.

Maybe we should consider why they are that way and embrace them more. They matter way more than any glorious achievement does.

When we lose people close to us, rarely do we remember their greatest achievements. We remember the small stuff, the little quirks, and the subtle nuance.

We remember the mundane.

Those become the most important memories.

The ones we often take for granted.

Bold Strategy2022-07-13T21:03:04-04:00

Matters of Importance

Most things we deal with on a day-to-day basis do not matter.

They are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

But, to kids, they might be the most important thing in the world.

Showing up for their class event
Reading to them at night
Watching them build something when they ask us to come to observe
Listening to them tell a story

Kids stay present much more than adults so when we show up for them and make them feel heard, seen, or acknowledged it can have a positive long-term effect even if it is hard to see at that moment.

It’s easy to brush away these moments and say “I’ll do it next time” because we are looking at it from our viewpoint. We see it on a grander scale. We think we have time.

Kids observe differently. They take it much harder when the consistent “no” or the “no show” happens. They are focused on the now. They crave our attention. We are their whole world.

It may not be important to us but maybe we should reconsider what is.

Matters of Importance2022-06-14T21:14:14-04:00

If It’s Not Scheduled It Won’t Get Done

When it comes to productivity, there isn’t much better than time blocking. This technique can help keep us on track to complete the work we know we’d like to get done. 

Resistance to these types of activities can help us become distracted, or worse yet, drop the task altogether for a less meaningful but more urgent one. 

We have to be prepared that these things will happen regularly and combat them with specific documentation of when we will get our project done. If it’s not scheduled it almost certainly won’t get done on time. Whatever it might be, chances are it is important to an idea or plan we’ve developed to help us at an unforeseen time in the future. 

Help that future self out by recognizing the important work we must get done today and schedule it on the calendar in advance.  

Then, we must hold ourselves accountable. Turn off the phones, limit the noise, and get focused on the task at hand.

If we don’t, we’ll get down the road and be filled with regret for not finishing and low confidence in our ability to get things done that are important to us. 

By building a great habit of time blocking, we’ll be much more prepared for the road ahead. We’ll be grateful that we stuck through the resistance to complete the project, no matter how small, because we had the foresight that this small step was going to lead us to a grander outcome in the long run.

If It’s Not Scheduled It Won’t Get Done2022-04-11T19:17:19-04:00

Wasted Time

What can be said, but said with less? We sit in meetings, read newsletters, listen to podcasts, etc and the ones that do it best eliminate the filler. They get to the point quickly and articulate the real message that is needed to get across.

How many of us have sat through that hour long scheduled meeting when it really could’ve been completed in 12 minutes? How many times could that meeting have been an email?

We are all aware of the filler around us and complain and scoff when it is wasting our time.

Have we considered how much of that “filler time” we are imposing on ourselves throughout the day without even knowing it?

Staying organized, prioritizing, and eliminating unnecessary tasks can be extremely beneficial to helping us structure a happier and stress free life and remain productive to the things that matter to us most.

When we cut out the filler noise (and tasks) we have all of this extra time to add in so much better stuff to our lives that give us more peace, a sound mind, and a chance to focus on our purpose.

What are you going to cut out of your day today that is filling up your time?

Wasted Time2021-06-25T09:17:22-04:00

Ticking Time

We get 1440 minutes a day. Every day. It never changes. Well, until we have zero. Time is ticking.

When we feel we have so much left we often take it for granted and squander it away. We make some decisions that are questionable even if from the outside they seem so blatantly obvious.

We’ll sit in line at Chick-Fil-A but won’t find time to call a friend and catch up with them

We’ll thumb through Instagram but won’t start the book we’ve wanted to write

We’ll crank out work after hours but are too busy to read a book to our kids

We have all the time to get busy work done but there’s never enough left for the important stuff.

Making the right decisions with our time and prioritizing the critical stuff ultimately leads us in a direction of lifelong fulfillment. That is for certain.

It’s hard to recognize that we are wasting time when we are in the moment and only after we take a 30,000-foot view of the situation we can realize there are areas that can enhance our lives simply by replacing a one-time commitment with another.

Small wins, each day, lead us to the life we’ve always wanted. It’s just hard to see the trees from the forest initially.

Zoom out and the picture becomes much clearer.

Ticking Time2022-03-21T20:46:36-04:00

How Valuable Is Your Time?

priorities

One of the things I’ve pondered recently is how much my time is worth considering the many competing priorities in my life and it always seems to be a balancing act of epic proportions to get everything done I need to get done. However, there are a lot of these items that I either don’t enjoy doing or feel they are repetitive and administrative and it’d be more beneficial to get help to complete them.

As I thought more about this it reminded me of several years ago when I decided to use a lawn care service to cut my yard, trim my hedges, fertilize, etc. I enjoyed doing it every now and then as it was my time to think but as my son was growing older I wanted to spend that 1 ½ hour normally set aside for yard work and spend it with him. So, that’s what prompted me to bring on German and let him do my landscaping.

I am using a similar thought process nowadays in regards to leveraging Virtual Assistants for many of these administrative tasks. I’ve found through sites like Freeeup.com and others like it there are many people looking for work and are offering their services for a fair price. In the past, I wanted to do everything myself as I thought I was “saving” myself money by not freelancing this workout. 

But now I’ve taken a different perspective on the situation and look at the value of my time as it pertains to my work and when the delta between these numbers is in my favor I will often side with the help to get tasks completed.

Here is what I am speaking about.  Let’s use a very simple example and this may be eye-opening if you’ve never done this exercise.

Let’s say, hypothetically, you make $100,000 a year working an average of 40 hours per week. And assuming you take a couple of weeks of vacation, let’s use 2 for easy math, that means you work 50 weeks for the year.

So, 40 hrs/wk x 50 weeks = 2,000 hours of work per year and divided by $100,000 = $50 / hour

That means your time can be equated to being worth $50 an hour. 

So, as an example, you need to get email lists together for a marketing campaign you are doing.  If that would take you 2 hours to complete (or $100 of your time) then you may be better off using a Virtual Assistant at $7-$10 per hour to complete the work while you spend your time using those 2 hours wisely to potentially increase your hourly rate, attract new business, or work on other projects that are important.

Virtual Assistants have become very common nowadays but it’s still something newer I am trying and many people have never even considered it. It’s definitely different handing over control of projects to people you’ve never or barely met but if you look at it as a professional situation and treat it as such you might be surprised at how it turns out.

My advice: 

Find a small project to start with that might take an hour or two and try this out. 

Make sure you give direct and clear details to your VA and I’d put everything in email and have it agreed upon prior to beginning the project.

You might find it works out well for you and frees up all sorts of time that can be valuable both personally and professionally.

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Just Get Started Podcast

  • Rusty Shelton Profile HeadshotRusty Shelton
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    Founder and Chairman of Zilker Media, Author of The Authority Advantage
  • Star Hansen Profile HeadshotStar Hansen
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    Clutter Whisperer and Certified Professional Organizer
  • Sophia Tostenson Profile HeadshotSophia Tostenson
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    CEO and Founder of Fit By Science Coaching
  • Katie Bramlett Profile HeadshotKatie Bramlett
    EPISODE 361
    Co-Founder of WeShape
  • Dr. Karlie Causey Profile HeadshotDr. Karlie Causey
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    Founder of the Postpartum activewear brand, Jen&Keri
How Valuable Is Your Time?2021-03-19T10:41:51-04:00

When Was The Last Time You Quit?

priorities

When was the last time you quit something?

Like realized it wasn’t fitting into your life and just quit it.

We all want to do more. Workout more. Make a few more calls. Spend more time with family. If you’re not doing more its said that you are falling behind or missing out.

But at what cost?

When was the last time we prioritized our day/week and analyzed the things that are distractions versus the things that are actually helping us grow or are important to us?

I believe this is one of the most ultimate struggles we have inside ourselves. We want to do everything and be everywhere. We stretch ourselves too thin.

Whether it’s wasted activities that are “time robbers” or giving our time to others who simply don’t respect it, there are a lot of applications to this question.

Something I’ve continued to ponder when it comes to prioritizing my time and efforts because I was doing so many things at surface level and feeling like I was just treading water. It wasn’t until I realized that I needed to go deeper into only a few of them and “quit” the others that I started to gain momentum.

By the way, it wasn’t easy, nothing ever is.

So, Here is how I prioritize some things now…

  1. My son
  2. Sleep
  3. Crossfit/Fitness
  4. Nutrition
  5. Full-Time Job
  6. Podcast/Children’s Books

And the list goes on….

There are a lot of balls to juggle and only so much time available. So let’s take a step back so I can share a bit more of how I found time.

For the longest time, my Sundays were filled with NFL Football all day long. As a huge 49ers fan (still disappointed in our Super Bowl loss!) I never missed a game. And I didn’t miss others, either. I played fantasy football, used to bet on games, and wanted to “enjoy” my Sunday. And that’s fine if you choose to do this. But for me, it wasn’t cutting it.

My son was growing, and it was a priority to be there with him and for him.

I started the Just Get Started Podcast and wanted to spend time editing it for the following week.

I also had business ideas I wanted to work on and test out.

And I was getting into CrossFit and had lofty goals of strength and weight gains.

Oh, and another HUGE priority of mine is sleep. I am a firm believer in all of the sleep research out there that you need a minimum of 7 hours per night of actual sleep, not just laying in bed.

So when I started to add it all up it made sense. Remove as much of the Sports/TV that I could while still allowing myself enough to satisfy those “cravings”. And that’s what I did. I only watched my 49ers and occasionally a game or two here and there if they were on a bye or played the primetime game. I also took out almost all TV watching during the week and spend that time with my son before bed and then work on some projects after.

As I’ve built this habit, it’s been amazing how I’ve trimmed even further without even noticing. I don’t have the NFL Sunday Ticket not so I can only watch my 49ers when they are on Primetime slots. I have taken out almost all weekly TV watching as well besides catching a few shows I like to watch like Shark Tank or Westworld. Since these are streamed, I can watch whenever I want so I am in more control.

Again, you may decide to do something different but it first starts with your priority list. What is most important in your life to focus on. Do those things first and if you are running into trouble with time available then you have to look farther down the list to what you are doing that is causing the problem. Although it may be fun or cool to do, you may have to make the sacrifice because, in order to grow and evolve and be fulfilled, you have to be focusing on the things that are most important.

Figure that out and I am confident you’ll free up a lot of wasted time and be much happier each and every day.

Carpe Diem,

Brian

When Was The Last Time You Quit?2021-03-19T10:42:27-04:00
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