Grab a pen and paper or open your Notes app on your phone and write down the 5 things that are bothering you the most right now in your life. Whatever is taking up space in your head and troubling you.
There are no wrong answers.
Give yourself a second to write these things down. Their writing of them is important as it makes them become more real.
Now that you have your five, I’d like you to rephrase all of them into a statement that resembles something more positive, “glass half full”, and optimistic.
For instance, if one of your complaints was…
My job is so stressful and I feel like I can never catch up at all. The work keeps piling up.
Maybe rewriting it to be positive looks something like this…
With the job being so stressful lately it’s helping me prioritize the things in my life that are the most important to me and I want to work toward doing those more often.
I’m making up a random example but the point is that a positive mindset always wins. I love the quote by Earl Nightingale which says, “We become what we think about.” If we are thinking negatively, complaining often, and always upset then that’s how we will perceive the world. We’ll be frustrated, closed off from conversations, and be looking at everything from a “glass half empty” perspective.
However, if we can use what is bothering us into positive momentum forward then we can create a brand new perspective on life. One that is filled with gratitude and hope. One with a more opportunistic view of each situation we are in.
Change is a long, tedious process, and getting to the starting line to change for the better is hard enough. We must recognize that our minds control our actions and our actions determine what direction we move in.
If our mind isn’t right then our actions are going to suffer.
The first step in doing that is creating a new narrative on our life. A new storyline. One with hope and optimism instead of doom and gloom.
Find the courage to write these thoughts down and hold yourself accountable to changing the tone and attitude of the message and you’ll start to change your mindset for the better.
You’ll become what you think about.
Turn That Frown Upside DownBrian Ondrako2023-03-19T14:50:50-04:00
What can be seen as a negative can also be seen as a positive?
“Ugh, the elevator is broken, now I have to climb six flights of stairs” can be flipped around just as easily to “Hey, the elevator is broken, I’ll at least get a little workout in as I climb these six flights of stairs.”
The way we perceive our situation and the world around us influences how we think. If we want to complain, there are many things to complain about. If we want to be grateful, there are the same amount of opportunities for that as well.
Positivity and optimism are central themes to a life of happiness. Putting our best work out there, being generous with our time, and taking care of others are all things we want to do because we know it helps the world become better and we feel better because of it.
But, sometimes we break down. We stumble. We fall. We don’t feel worthy enough and we want to hide.
It’s okay. Go hide, go cry, go shout, go punch a wall. Whatever we have to do to cope with life sometimes we have to do it. Sometimes that is leaning on others but sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s being by ourselves and wallowing for a night or two or many.
But, then, we have to endure.
We have to build back stronger.
We have to be aware that whatever we may have gone through; the pain, the sorrow, the tragedy, it all makes us stronger. Enduring the pain and then rising up from it makes us know we can be whole again.
We now know what it’s like to hit rock bottom and resurface. We know what it’s like to feel like we have no way out. But, we found a way.
Or we will find a way. We have to.
Because that courage to fight another day is a gift to the world. It’s an offering to those that haven’t gotten to the level of our despair before and may need to be shone the light when they get into the depths of hell. When they feel there is no way out. When they don’t have the courage we might have.
Use that energy and shine a beam of light forward for others to follow.
We’ve learned the lessons. We’ve earned the courage. Now it’s time for us to create some action and do good with it. For others and for ourselves.
Entitlement: the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment
It’s hard to argue that we have it worse than generations before us. That’d be a stretch.
We have access to great medicine, food, instant connection, world travel, etc. The list is endless.
Just because we might have these opportunities doesn’t mean we should forget the simple things that matter; Kindness, Compassion, Gratitude, Humility, Empathy, Patience, etc.
Entitlement should not be on that list. We’ve seen a spike in this more recently and it stems from us forgetting where we came from and the people, opportunities, and luck that has entered our lives and made them better than generations past.
With access to knowledge almost instantly also comes the power to ignore it and have a bias that our way of doing things is not only right but justified. That we are somehow more special than the people around us. This thinking can lead us to judge others negatively and put ourselves on a pedestal. Our ego can get the best of us.
As much as we all come from different backgrounds and upbringings, we are the same at our core. We are all trying to make sense of this vast world and figure out how we are going to make our dent in it one way or another.
Change is inevitable and most of the time we can’t control what changes take place. But, when it comes to us personally, the way we can make sure the changes are more positive is to create repeatable processes or habits.
Habits are either going to be good or bad. It’s that simple.
We choose which ones we let into our lives and which ones we don’t. The more positively beneficial habits we can implant into our daily routines the better chance we have of succeeding toward our goals.
But, if it were easy, everyone would do it.
Choosing the “good” habits requires discipline and focus with a sprinkle of willpower mixed in. That’s why having the proper game plan is necessary.
But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, it starts with today.
Most people are told to write down their 1,3, and 5-year goals. I’m not a big believer in those. That’s way too far out to have much impact in my opinion.
But what about your goals for today? Do you know them? Have you written them down?
Research suggests you are 42% more likely to reach your goals if you write them down every day. They don’t have to be big and audacious to be impactful. Write down 2-4 goals you’d like to get accomplished today. I’d encourage you to write down ones that will move the needle but not overwhelm you to the point that it takes all day just to complete one of them.
Then, cross them out throughout the day as you accomplish them. You’ll feel amazing and you’ll boost your confidence because you are moving forward in the right direction.
If you can start to do this every day you’ll notice how much progress you’ve made in such a short period of time and then the momentum will build rapidly.
Habits are hard to change but if you can add new ones that will help hold you accountable you’ll have done yourself a big service and set in motion a positive wave of energy that’ll carry you to become a changed person, for the better.
I believe anyone that ever wants to accomplish great things has a “chip on their shoulder”. I don’t see how you can’t in such a competitive world we live in. We all get slighted or past over from time to time and that should motivate anyone I would think. It definitely motivates me.
I was thinking about this recently while watching the wonderful docuseries on ESPN called “The Last Dance” chronicling the Chicago Bulls Dynasty with a focus on Michael Jordan and their 6th and final championship in that historic run.
There are many instances where we see Michael Jordan use his surroundings to fuel him when needed whether a news story, a player from the other team or his own team. He found ways to keep motivating himself to push forward. I believe in a way we all do this and we may not readily admit it but I think it can be extremely beneficial to our future growth. As long as it not used in any malicious or hurtful way, I think having it inside us to pull out when needed is vital.
I was thinking about this personally as it relates to growing my Podcast or personal brand. Very few people know who I am and what my mission is in life and fewer than that actually care. That’s fine with me now but there was a time when I was insecure and needed the attention.
That dates back to my childhood and many of the struggles I went through in my family life and upbringing with the feeling I was never good enough or could never feel included in almost anything. That took a long time to overcome (still working on it in some ways!) and it was important for me to get attention, any attention, in order to feel I had self-worth.
And that’s where I’ve used the “chip on the shoulder” mentality to help me. I use that fuel from all of the years of being slighted, or laughed at, or not thought of as worthy of anything. It drives me to want to produce a better Podcast, or write better books, or continue to share my story.
I’m not sure what your past was like or the moments in time you felt less of a person or were treated as such but don’t let those moments die off into a distant memory. Although sometimes difficult, with the right mindset you can use those moments to refuel yourself and keep adding logs to the fire when you find your motivation wavering. I have certain memories cornered away in my mind to use when needed and it’s made a big difference. There was a lot of pain I had to overcome from earlier in life and proving myself over and over again is just something that drives me.
We are often told to let go of the past and move on but unless you grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth and never had problems then I think those painful lessons you experienced should go to good use and become the “chip on the shoulder” material that you can use to reshape your mind and grow to new heights.
I’m not sure what you want to do in life but just know you can do great things, you truly can, with the right mindset and perspective on the world. Keep driving toward your mission and the impact you want to have on this world and I hope you continue to stay obsessed with changing the world in a more positive way.
Thanks for reading,
Listen To The Podcast
Find The “Chip On Your Shoulder” Brian Ondrako2021-03-19T10:42:25-04:00
Episode 67 features the Fennell Family – Jennaye (Parent/Mother), Jiyah (15), Jace (11), Merl (10). I met this family at the Next Gen Summit and was impressed with their mission, work ethic, and positive attitude. The fact that all of them, especially the kids, have published books and are continuing to create great content goes to show that age really doesn’t matter and what matters most is bringing a positive mindset and strong work ethic to each and every day and never giving up!
An adventurous, loving family of strong faith that believes in the motto, “LIVE LIFE to the FULLEST!”
Currently featuring 3 young siblings; Jiyah 15, Jace 11, Merl 10 and Jennaye an inspirational mother that are authors of an AMAZING unique book series, professional face painters, speakers, rappers, podcasters, travelers with an inspirational cartoon!
Jiyah Fennell – 15-year old author
Jiyah started face painting when she was only 9 years old. She has painted for celebrities and she teaches face painting to other children to become entrepreneurs. Her first book, Princess Jiyah’s Face Painting Fairytale demonstrates her painting skills and teaches positive character traits.
Jace Fennell – 11-year old author
Jacewas just 9 years old when he wrote his first book, Journey through Hawaii with Jace. He later wrote his second book, Journey through Cuba with Jace. He is an honor roll student in his 5th grade class and an inspiration to many.
Merl Fennell – 10-year old author
Merl began his writing career when he was just 8 years old. He has written 2 books in the family series, Journey through Texas with Merl and Journey through New Orleans with Merl. The books can be read over 25 different ways, teaches learning concepts such as the alphabet, counting in English and Spanish, rhyming, and includes family pictures.
Episode 26 was a blast! I met Joel in August when he came to speak at our company and share the journey of the past 9 years and how this whole thing came together. It’s an incredible story of perseverance, patience, grit, and a little luck. We go in depth on a variety of topics and he shares a lot of great insight on his daily routines and how he prepares for these long races.
Joel Runyon is an athlete and entrepreneur. He is the founder of IMPOSSIBLE – a company dedicated to helping people push their limits and do impossible things.
I met Christina through a recommendation of a prior guest, Tisha Abrea (Ep. 16), and was so fortunate to get a chance to hear her story and learn through some of the lessons she had to go through in her career.I love that she refers to periods of her life as “seasons” and although she is in a busy season I was appreciative she was able to take time out of her day and share her story.
We get into some of her struggles on the golf course during LPGA Tour Qualifying School and how she broke out of the mold that everyone else thought she she be in and ultimately flourished by following a different path with her golf hosting, mindset coaching, and motivational speaking.
Unlike most professional golfers, Christina was a late-comer to the sport. Born in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Christina did not play any golf before the age of 18. However, this wasn’t due to a lack of exposure to the game. Christina’s father, Tony Lecuyer, has long been one of Alberta’s biggest names in golf. Her two younger brothers, Ryan and Steven, were also two of Canada’s best amateurs winning the 2003 Canadian Junior Boys’ Championship and 2010 Alberta Amateur Championship, respectively. Christina certainly picked up the game quickly. Christina won the first golf tournament she ever entered, the 2002 Edmonton Ladies Amateur Championship, and attracted the attention of numerous college recruiters finally landing on the University of Central Arkansas in 2003. Christina had an outstanding collegiate career, both on the golf course and in the classroom. She won five collegiate tournaments, had 24 Top Ten finishes, and was a 2-time All-American honorable mention. Christina was an even better performer in the classroom, graduating Magna Cum Laude in 2007 in Business Administration. After wrapping up her collegiate career in 2007, Christina focused her attention on the professional circuit. She played various mini-tours from 2007-2010 qualifying for LPGA final stage three consecutive years. She was featured on the Golf Channel’s Big Break Series twice, coming out on the winning end on Big Break Reunion: Dominican Republic. She has also been sought after for many on-camera opportunities and most recently co-hosted Swing Clinic on Fox Sports Regional Networks. Now Christina’s focus is her love of entertaining clients at corporate and charity golf events, mentoring others, and publicly speaking. She’s sought out by world-renowned corporations and has raised millions of dollars for charity. Christina’s expertise, generosity, personality, and knowledge have put her on the map as one of the only female golfers in the world working in this capacity full-time.