First Person Narrative
Get out of the game of “everyone else”
Everyone else appears to be getting lucky breaks.
Everyone else appears to be getting traction.
Everyone else appears to be productive.
Everyone else appears to be happy.
Get out of the game of “everyone else”
Everyone else appears to be getting lucky breaks.
Everyone else appears to be getting traction.
Everyone else appears to be productive.
Everyone else appears to be happy.
If our car was stuck in the mud how would we get out of that situation?
We wouldn’t keep spinning our wheels and cursing the world for putting us in this situation.
We’d assess where we’re at.
We’d look for resources.
We’d call for help.
We all have scars.
Some use them to remind themselves they are the victim.
Some use them to remind themselves they are strong and can endure anything that comes their way.
Our perspective and attitude are the compasses that’ll take us in one of two directions.
The question is, which path is going to serve us the most?
I had a surreal experience recently.
It’s something I’ll plan on doing more often.
I closed my eyes for my meditation practice but his time, instead of breath work and centering myself, I tried something different.
There will be a last time for everything.
The last time talking to my brother.
The last time picking up my son.
The last time seeing a sunset.
A last round of golf.
What have you changed your mind on in the past year?
Growth isn’t about doubling down on our beliefs and digging our heels in but recognizing that there is a big world out there filled with new ideas and different perspectives.
If we don’t like our shirt, we change it.
If we don’t like our job, we get a new one.
If we don’t like our relationships, we end them.
If we don’t like our thoughts, we can change them, too.
It’s hard not to be a “prisoner of the moment.”
We uncover neat experiences.
We discover new opportunities
We are wowed by new people.
Unfortunately, one of the more difficult things in life is to accept that these don’t always last.
We’ve all had more “failed” relationships than we can count.
Friendships are no longer intact.
Business partnerships split.
Divorce and Break-ups.
It’s happened throughout our lives and emotionally those take a toll on us.
Kids need some intervention but what would happen if we just got out of the way most of the time?
I think they’d do just fine.
We are not perfect and we have so many limiting beliefs or blindspots that we potentially start exposing them to those. It can become detrimental.
It’s funny when we reflect back on our past and almost don’t recognize the person we used to be.
It should give us confidence that whatever we are going through today can be overcome and used as a stepping stone to a better future.
Embrace the suck, it won’t always be this way.
Most of life’s pain comes from how we thought it should be or that it didn’t work out as planned.
But what if it actually did?
Sometimes we can be the worst judge of a situation when we are in the moment but when we step back away from it, as time goes on, we begin to realize it was a moment that changed us for the better.
What can be seen as a negative can also be seen as a positive.
“Ugh, the elevator is broken, now I have to climb six flights of stairs” can be flipped around just as easily to “Hey, the elevator is broken, I’ll at least get a little workout in as I climb these six flights of stairs.”
How many times would we sit idle in class when the teacher asked if there were any questions only because we didn’t want to be the one who looked like we didn’t understand?
We assumed if nobody else raised their hands then we were the only incompetent ones.
Our conditioning at the time blinded our thinking.
My son is an only child. I can’t fathom what goes through his head when he sees his friends playing with their siblings.
All I know is what he shares with me.
He feels lonely. He can get sad. He wishes he had a brother.
When we look around at the world and compare ourselves to others the first thought for many of us is that we are not good enough.
We feel that we are not pretty enough, not creative enough, not outgoing enough, not _______.
But, we are special.
In a world where many things are a commodity, we are a rare jewel.
Stress can eat away at us and cause pain and anger.
It can cause us to be depressed and make us believe we are spiraling downward.
But have we considered the “why” behind it all?
We all go through anguish and despair and none of those emotions should be taken lightly.
We need to lean into those. Embrace those. Sit in the suck of those moments.
But then we have to have perspective. We don’t really know how it’s going to turn out from here. We don’t know what will happen. We don’t know where this will lead us in our life.
One day at a time.
One conversation at a time.
One moment at a time.
Instead of hoping and in-visioning what could happen. Be present with what is happening.
Bracing through a storm can be very challenging but it’s when we see the flowers start to bloom on the other side we knew it was worth it.
We shouldn’t look at every bad situation and think it’s the end of the world.
If you’ve come across this blog then chances are with all the hardships in life yours isn’t that bad.
Chances are you have access to high-speed internet or 5G.
Chances are your phone was made some time in the last handful of years and would be considered “smart”.
Let’s not kid ourselves, people tell us exactly how they feel, one way or another, whether that’s a response by phone, a text message, body language, responsiveness, or a lack of communication.
Whether good or bad, people are telling us and we just have to be paying attention to the signal and block out the noise.
We will continue to be pressed with tough situations, unsolicited advice, less than favorable reviews, and chatter from the people in the stands.
We must always remember that if we are willing to take the risk of being ourselves and putting it out into the world then this will be part of the process. We have to weather the cloud of negativity and judgment that can often hang over us.
It’s been 3 years since my wife and I got divorced. Funny how that much time has passed. Funny to think what we could’ve changed to make it work.
A lot of things for sure.
But, then again, it was probably the right decision. We were both unhappy.
Life is random and unexpected. Things happen that can be extremely magical at times and can make us be more fulfilled than we ever expected.
But we can’t take those moments for granted.
We have to be grateful for the entire path of uncertainty that led us to this point. We have to drop the ego.
Getting really good at not needing the outside praise can do wonders for our psyche and it starts from a place of perspective.
When we are devouring some dessert in the aftermath of the Thanksgiving feast this year let that give us some perspective and a metaphor we can use for our lives.
The dessert didn’t make itself.
There were ingredients that were necessary to make that specific recipe and they didn’t peel, mix, whisk, or bake themselves.
Choose wisely as the things we think are important in the moment like the BS of work stuff, watching the game, social media, etc are really unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
The moments become memories in a blink of an eye. It happens so fast we don’t really understand what is going on when it’s happening. We take it for granted thinking it’ll always be this way.
We hear slogans like “Taste the feeling”, “That’s what I like”, “They’re Gr-r-reat” and hundreds of other slogans in marketing ads across the world.
Some people see a wall color as green. Others see it as blue. The exact same wall on the exact same day standing in the exact same place.
Life ebbs and flows. Some days we are on the highest of highs and others it’s the lowest of the lows.
Have you ever watched a Sci-Fi Movie or Show where everyone dresses the exact same and basically looks the same? Can we even imagine how boring and limiting that must be? We can’t express ourselves, we can’t find people who share our values or our interests, we can’t find our tribe to belong to. To me, that seems like a sad way to go about living.
There are a variety of things we need in order to get to a place of true happiness on a constant basis. Although a lot of the work comes from shedding our labels including self-limiting beliefs, the other side of the coin is about our purpose.
Thank you’s are easy but not readily thought about. They come from a place of deep gratitude.
Each day we might find ourselves in situations that call on us to battle others. Inevitably, some of these situations might be warranted to protect ourselves and our families.
And that is where our ego as adults clearly gets in the way. We spend the better part of our time trying to teach our children all the things they should be doing, how they should be behaving, and what they should be focusing on.
Have you ever watched a kid play in the sandbox?
Some waddle in, others go full-throttle, while plenty scope out the landscape before they enter.
I’ve never seen a kid not go in when the thought of playing in one is presented to them.