Stranger Danger

A hard part about raising an adolescent child is their transition from thinking the world is always kind to realize there is a dark side to life.

It’s a truth we know is coming, as parents, but one that is difficult to accept. We have two paths.

Avoid the conversation and suppress their curiosity or lean into the discussions with warmth and honesty.

It might be better to prepare them for a realistic future and provide the tools to handle those situations versus overprotecting them where they never learn how to protect themselves.

It’s a fine balance but one that we have to be willing to take.

It’s better than the alternative; them wandering the wilderness alone without any knowledge of what to do if danger appears.

Stranger Danger2022-12-10T16:52:34-04:00

Parental Intervention

Kids need some intervention but what would happen if we just got out of the way most of the time?

I think they’d do just fine.

We are not perfect and we have so many limiting beliefs or blindspots that we potentially start exposing them to those. It can become detrimental.

Let them figure it out themselves. Let them problem solve. Let them self-regulate.

Let them be themselves.

We can be a coach and talk through what they are going through but we don’t necessarily have to give them all of the answers. We don’t have to tell them exactly what to do.

Otherwise, we can’t blame them when they are older and don’t turn out to be upstanding, kind, and generous adults.

They were just doing what they were told.

Parental Intervention2022-09-20T19:45:59-04:00
  • Jon Vroman Profile Headshot

Jon Vroman

JON VROMAN

EPISODE 275: Founder, Front Row Dads

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Episode 275 features Jon Vroman, Founder of Front Row Dads, which has become a diverse group of 230 dads from 12 different countries who share a common bond of choosing to put family first as they grow their businesses.

During the episode, Jon mentions a great resource to pick us is 15 Commitments to Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer: Buy it here

Find Jon Online:

Website: https://frontrowdads.com/

Front Row Dads Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/front-row-dads-family-men-with-businesses/id1344850656?mt=2

About Jon:

Jon Vroman founded Front Row Dads because he wanted to win at home and not just at work.

Over the last 5 years, Front Row Dads has become a diverse group of 230 dads from 12 different countries who share a common bond of choosing to put family first as they grow their businesses.

The mission of Front Row Dads is to help men deepen their connection with their children and build a family legacy that they’re proud of.

Outside of the podcast, live events, and online summits, FRD has a highly engaged membership that supports each dad in aligning with his family values and staying committed to the most important people in his life.

Jon has been featured on Today Show and Inc.com for his work in helping others “Live Life In The Front Row™”. He’s been requested to speak for the US Navy, Vitamix, Dove, Keller Williams Realty, Entrepreneurs Organization, and many others.

As the author of the #1 bestselling book, The Front Row Factor, he shares inspiring stories, compelling science, and life strategies that challenge you to explore your values, establish priorities and reconnect to a higher purpose and deeper meaning within your life.

In 2005, Jon founded FrontRowFoundation.org, a charity that helps individuals who are braving life-threatening illnesses, to experience the event of their dreams, from the front row.

……..

If you enjoyed this interview you may also like my Just Get Started Podcast Interview with Seth Godin, Author, Founder and Speaker

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Jon Vroman2022-08-27T12:38:16-04:00

Matters of Importance

Most things we deal with on a day-to-day basis do not matter.

They are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

But, to kids, they might be the most important thing in the world.

Showing up for their class event
Reading to them at night
Watching them build something when they ask us to come to observe
Listening to them tell a story

Kids stay present much more than adults so when we show up for them and make them feel heard, seen, or acknowledged it can have a positive long-term effect even if it is hard to see at that moment.

It’s easy to brush away these moments and say “I’ll do it next time” because we are looking at it from our viewpoint. We see it on a grander scale. We think we have time.

Kids observe differently. They take it much harder when the consistent “no” or the “no show” happens. They are focused on the now. They crave our attention. We are their whole world.

It may not be important to us but maybe we should reconsider what is.

Matters of Importance2022-06-14T21:14:14-04:00

Cannonball

My son asked me, “Can I jump in the pool with my towel on?”

I asked, “Is that a good decision?”

He asked, “will I get in trouble?”

I said, “No, it’s your decision. What do you want to do?”

Too many times when he was younger I’d say No.
Too many times I’d battle him and invoke my “power” as the parent.
Too many times I’d want to be in control.

But that’s the funny thing about growth. As you are trying to move toward happiness the little things don’t matter as much.

Who cares if he jumps into the pool with his towel? It doesn’t hurt him or me at all.

At that moment, It was a small opportunity to give him some independence and make the choice he wanted to make.

He chose to jump in!

It’s what made him happy.

I have to respect that.

Cannonball2022-06-04T15:08:06-04:00

Endurance Race

My son is an only child. I can’t fathom what goes through his head when he sees his friends playing with their siblings.

All I know is what he shares with me.

He feels lonely. He can get sad. He wishes he had a brother.

But he also endures. He has courage. Way more than I ever had at his age.

He has learned to walk up to kids at the park, complete strangers, and ask them if they’d like to play.

He doesn’t get too affected by rejection. He doesn’t let it linger for too long, at least.

He amazes me because he proves that when the world wants to judge you and put you into a box, you can break out of it.

You can carve your own path.

I don’t know what it’s like to be in my son’s shoes but I’m glad he’s learning, adapting, and enduring.

He’s starting to realize that the world works in a variety of different ways.

He’s working to be comfortable in his own skin and embrace his differences.

He’s starting to gain perspective.

Endurance Race2022-05-22T13:59:34-04:00

Telling Isn’t Teaching

Kids learn repeatable patterns through practice and experiences. Their characteristics, habits, skill development, and values are shaped by these experiences.

It’s done through reading and imagining, through play, through creating, and through testing.

One of the neat things as you observe this is there are minimal to no instructions. Kids correct course most of the time and in some cases learn the hard way when they don’t. Those life lessons stick with us forever and sometimes we even have the scars to remind us.

But rarely, if ever, do they learn by being told something. When it comes to deep learning, we need to let them experience it themselves, think openly, and be challenged.

The best teachers in the world do this not by giving the answers but by asking the right questions.

The next time your child asks a question you know the answer to don’t be in such a hurry to answer it. Instead, return serve with a simple question like “What do you think?” or “Why do you think it’s like that?” or anything around this questioning.

Although it may be simple to you, watch their brain rev up as they try to come up with an answer.

You’ll be amazed by the imagination they have through the answers they come up with and they might shock you with their perspective.

Who knows, It might open up additional questions and dialogue that might fuel their passion and spark their curiosity to explore more.

In the end, that’s the fun part of learning anyways.

Telling Isn’t Teaching2022-04-11T19:12:43-04:00

Staying At Arms Length

I used to teach junior golf when I was a PGA Professional and there is one thing I observed countless times that is very true.

The most independent kids and fastest learners are able to make mistakes, work through the answers, and solve the problem without parenting intervention. They might have struggled or have asked a lot of questions but they learned.

If parents are readily giving their kids the answers, doing things for them, and waiting on them for everything then the kids don’t learn as fast and cannot be self-reliant in emergency situations. They have a hard time thinking on their own and solving real-world problems.

With this comes self-doubt. They are always looking over their shoulder for an answer instead of acting at the moment.

Before we intervene, be sure it is actually necessary. A little struggle and life lesson learning isn’t such a bad thing for our kids and it can make them much more resilient and well suited for a world that doesn’t care if they are prepared or not.

Staying At Arms Length2022-03-21T20:48:44-04:00
  • Mick Carbo Profile Headshot

Mick Carbo

MICK CARBO

EPISODE 105: Founder & Head Coach, Carbo Coaching

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Episode 105 Features Mick Carbo, Founder & Head Coach of Carbo Coaching. Mick has a very unique story from starting to grow his first business when he was just out of high school, getting married and having kids in his late teens, and selling marijuana in his mid-20s and ultimately getting arrested. I really enjoyed this vulnerable conversation with Mick and I hope you do too.

Find Mick Online:

Website: CarboCoaching.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mick.carbo

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mickcarbo/

About Mick:

As an entrepreneur, leadership coach, trainer, and speaker, Mick Carbo’s experience spans a wide range of industries. In addition to working with his Carbo Coaching clients, Mick also a “coaches’ coach,” co-leading an ICF (International Coaching Federation) accredited leadership development and training program for other coaches. Mick holds the designation of Professional Certified Coach (PCC) through the International Coach Federation (ICF).

He teaches Employee Performance Development through the Small Business Development Center and the University of Maryland. Also committed to community service, Mick has done pro bono work with retiring military personnel through the Transition Assistance Program at Ft. Meade and volunteers in leadership positions for community organizations.

Mick’s over 20 years of experience as an entrepreneur and business owner gives him an owner’s perspective, enabling him to help founders, owners, and other business leaders effectively grow and lead their teams to new levels of fulfillment and success. Through Mick’s coaching, leaders learn how to maximize performance and create unprecedented results.

……..

If you enjoyed this interview you may also like my Just Get Started Podcast Interview with Dr. Orin Davis, Principal Investigator of the Quality of Life Laboratory

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Mick Carbo2020-11-01T13:18:15-04:00
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