Life Evolves
I got a 990 on my SATs and carried a 2.3 GPA in high school. It’s a reminder you are vastly different at 30 or
I got a 990 on my SATs and carried a 2.3 GPA in high school. It’s a reminder you are vastly different at 30 or
The hardest lesson I’ve ever learned?
How to be kind to myself
For countless years, I’ve lived in my head and said things like:
Here’s an unlock for anyone starting something and feeling like they aren’t improving.
Instead of thinking you should be better, I want you to act like a four-year-old.
Stop living in your head.
No one can predict with 100% certainty what will happen next week.
Stop worrying about the “what ifs” and start living for the “what could be.”
“I don’t get tired.”
I remember when I first heard these words from Jesse Itzler a few years ago. It was the unlock I needed when I was feeling the effects of a hard workout.
You know that project you’re anxious about starting?
I learned a stone-cold fact that may help you with it.
We spend too much of our lives living with anxiety.
Why? Because we have misaligned expectations.
If my son could only be great at one thing it’s an easy choice to make.
I’d want him to have immense self-belief.
Here’s the weird thing about confidence.
It can’t be manifested from daydreaming.
It can only be developed through action.
My son was complaining yesterday that he wasn’t good at band anymore.
I had to throw the challenge flag.
We went to the video replay.
When did Tiger Woods become great?
When, specifically?
Was it when he won his 3rd straight US Amateur Title in 1996?
How about when he became the youngest-ever winner of The Masters at 21?
Or maybe it was winning the “Tiger Slam” and holding all 4 Major Championships at the same time?
Getting rejected when I was younger built a resilience of not fearing the ASK.
And it’s been an incredible tool.
Why do we categorize trying things and not succeeding right away as failure?
It’s weird thinking.
We are simply not good.
That’s what practice is all about.
A couple of months ago I graced the storied grounds of my college golf course, affectionately known as “Downback”.
As I was playing the course the memories starting pouring over me. Hundreds of rounds of golf on this course. Thousands of golf balls hit at the range. Priceless memories.
I played my first round of golf at the age of 12 but it wasn’t until I turned 13 when I caught the “bug” and wanted play more often.
When summertime rolled around that year my brother and I bought a junior golf membership to the local golf club so we could play during summer break.
How high is your fence?
That’s a strange question, right?
What I mean is how open are you with others?
Is there a fence? Is it a small white picket fence or a 10 foot high one made of concrete?
Unbeknownst to us, we may be guarded from others.
I went for a walk today.
No music, podcast, or audiobook.
Just pure silence.
It was glorious.
I may try it again tomorrow.
I’d encourage you to try it, too.
As the saying goes, “A rising tide lifts all boats.”
But, when it’s bone dry it can shipwreck them, too.
Embracing a “slow summer” is what I’ve been working toward.
But it is hard on the psyche.
I’ve conditioned myself to always be “on”. To work continuously and progress my projects. A day off meant I was behind in some way.
Remember that thing that was stressing you out last month?
Yeah, neither do I.
Most things that happen to us today won’t matter in a short time so don’t let it stress you out too much.
Too often, we let the fear we learned in our adolescence trigger decisions in the present.
How we think about money.
How we think about relationships.
How we think about our ability to perform.
If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right.
Don’t kid yourself.
You know, you simply don’t want to accept it.
The sooner you realize all of our paths are messy and squiggly, it will provide a broader landscape of hope and possibility for the days ahead.
Because we don’t know what will happen.
Burnout is real and it’ll push us to the brink.
And then, we question whether we should feel burned out.
Isn’t that ridiculous?
Be proud of yourself despite how the world reacts to your accomplishments.
No volume of praise from others will positively impact us as much as the praise we give ourselves.
There’s one thing we can guarantee with 100% certainty; we will experience bad moments in life.
→ It will suck.
Showing up sets you miles apart from the person you once were.
How you talk to yourself once you do is a leading indicator of the person you will become.
We often think that a pain-free life is a fulfilling life.
It’s not.
A fulfilling life is recognizing pain is inevitable, coping with it when it arrives, and working tirelessly to become better because of it.
Nobody gets overweight overnight.
Nobody fails at business overnight.
Nobody gets into debt overnight.
But yet people want to:
Last year I crested the 400-LB mark for the first time with a 405 LB Deadlift.
→ I followed that up a month later by hitting 425.
The weight isn’t as important as what led me to finally hit it.
How is it already 2024?
The years are a blur.
When looking back we often forget the days ahead will go by just as quickly.
One day leads to the next. Time is an offensive juggernaut we can’t stop.
Here’s a test: Ready?
“Don’t think about an elephant.”
But, you did, didn’t you?
When we don’t want to think about something, inevitably our attention turns to it.
Our minds are weird in this way.
If you are stuck remember that we are merely 8 billion atoms in a body suit on a spinning rock circling a massive star.
Appreciate that you have the capacity to recognize the feelings you are feeling.
The action of starting ends up being a lot easier when we’ve already started in our minds.
The action is connected to the need to change.
We all have scars.
Some use them to remind themselves they are the victim.
Some use them to remind themselves they are strong and can endure anything that comes their way.
Our perspective and attitude are the compasses that’ll take us in one of two directions.
The question is, which path is going to serve us the most?
We all know the Pavlov Dog experiment.
Ring the bell. A treat appears.
Ring the bell. A treat appears.
Ring the bell. A treat appears.
The dog is expecting the treat after the next bell rings.
Grab a pen and paper or open your Notes app on your phone and write down the 5 things that are bothering you the most right now in your life. Whatever is taking up space in your head and troubling you.
There are no wrong answers.
Give yourself a second to write these things down. Their writing of them is important as it makes them become more real.
Don’t beat yourself up if you need a long break.
It’s good to take a whole mental health day to reset (maybe a few).
Stepping away provides a perspective we wouldn’t get if we were always on the go.
Some days I look at the blogs I’ve written and I say, “I wrote that!”
Other days I say, “I wrote that?”
We can be our biggest cheerleader or our worst critic.
Stress can eat away at us and cause pain and anger.
It can cause us to be depressed and make us believe we are spiraling downward.
But have we considered the “why” behind it all?
The reason why you often hear people say they come up with their best ideas in the shower is that it’s one of the only times a day when we allow ourselves space to think.
It’s not an overnight change and certainly not easy but we should be happy it is that way. We should be grateful that the hard work we put in and the endurance we’ve managed to muster up to get to a new place, a better place, don’t just evaporate overnight as well.
Changing the way our brain processes and learns things can be impactful on our growth and one of the best ways to get in this state is by being a beginner learner.
Change is inevitable and most of the time we can’t control what changes take place. But, when it comes to us personally, the way we can make sure the changes are more positive is to create repeatable processes or habits.
Month 5 of my Dozen Months of Discovery is finishing up today and my challenge for this month was to write one blog article a day for the entire month of May, 31 days to be exact. As I write this post, this will be my final one of the month and I thought to share a few things I’ve learned throughout the month.
I’ve put consistency as the last ingredient on the list because it tends to be the final piece that makes all of the rest work together very well. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has had sustained success in anything they do including sales without being consistent in their approach and work ethic.
I reminded myself of this today on a run where I set a goal of 4-miles while wearing my 20-LB Weighted Vest. First, I hate running. Second, I never have run more than 2 consecutive miles wearing the vest.
I’ve had a ton of interesting experiences in my life, and some, where I made wrong choices and had to do things over or I made them harder than they probably needed to be. I hardly looked at the choices I was making, how I was reacting to them, and where I could improve. Unlike Sherlock Holmes, I wish I had laid the pieces out and tried to fit them together to unlock the mystery.
We all need an “Accountability Mirror” to look ourselves straight in the face and force us to deal with our shit, whatever that happens to be at the time.
That mirror for me happens to be my bathroom mirror. I get to glance in it many times a day and it offers up a lot of brutal honesty especially when I’m down on myself.
EPISODE 24
Mindset Coach | Motivational Speaker | Golf Hosting Specialist