The “Most Argumentative” goes to…

Why is it important for us to be right?

Why do we get defensive at the first sign of an adverse response to what we believe is true?

It’s rooted in our belief in ourselves.

I received the “Most Argumentative” superlative for my senior year of high school. I lobbied for that title. I wore it like a badge of honor.

I thought it was cool to be argumentative because I hadn’t learned that healthy dialogue and constructive listening were much cooler.

Arguing was the status quo for me. It’s how my family communicated with one another. It’s how we shared our feelings. I didn’t know any better. I had believed that was how everyone communicated.

But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t at fault.

As I matured, I began to recognize that there was another way forward.

It was rooted in empathy and understanding of the other person.

And it wasn’t about winning. It was about learning.

I couldn’t possibly know everything about a topic so how could I be so confident I was correct?

I wasn’t confident but I was stubborn.

I was blinded by the “belief” that I was correct.

It’s our beliefs that can hold us back.

We become steadfast and proud of what we claim is right and we hold firm in our opinions even though facts may argue otherwise.

Having a healthy debate is necessary but it’s no longer the “loudest person in the room wins.”

It’s about questions and curiosity. It’s about respectful banter. It’s about learning things from a different perspective.

It’s something we should all be willing to agree on.

The “Most Argumentative” goes to…2023-06-24T11:12:22-04:00

Cordial Conversations

Disagreeing is not toxic in a relationship.

Being unwilling to listen to a different perspective is.

If we are scared to have a direct conversation with someone over something that we care about or that is bothering us then we should question the strength of our relationship with them.

Relationships are hard. Period.

Having relationships with people where there is open and honest communication is of utmost importance.

It’s not that all of the conversations are positive it’s that they are filled with respect and cordialness that whatever issues we are having we will get past them together.

Life is too short to be in bad relationships.

Let’s make that something we are unwilling to compromise on.

Cordial Conversations2022-10-02T17:21:18-04:00

Nuclear Reactor

We all go through anguish and despair and none of those emotions should be taken lightly.

We need to lean into those. Embrace those. Sit in the suck of those moments.

But then we have to have perspective. We don’t really know how it’s going to turn out from here. We don’t know what will happen. We don’t know where this will lead us in our life.

And, hopefully, that will give us some assurance that we’ll be okay. Because we’ve been here before. Maybe not exactly, but we’ve felt these feelings and been in similar waters.

All we can try to do is have a positive perspective on what will come next.

As the Stoics have said, we can’t always control what’s happening but we can control our reaction to it.

Think. Cry. Reflect. Get emotional. Be with those thoughts and feelings.

And then endure and embrace the potential opportunities that lie ahead.

We can’t know for certain what will happen. But we can control whether our outlook will be positive or negative.

We do have that choice in the matter.

Nuclear Reactor2022-04-14T14:06:36-04:00
  • Daniel Stillman Profile Headshot

Daniel Stillman

DANIEL STILLMAN

EPISODE 208: Executive Coach and Conversation Designer

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Episode 208 features Daniel Stillman, an Executive Coach and Conversation Designer, and the host of the Conversation Factory Podcast.

Check out Daniel’s 2022 Online Facilitation Master Class

Sign up to be kept in the loop at https://theconversationfactory.com/online-facilitation-masterclass

Find Daniel Online:

Website: https://www.danielstillman.com/

Website: https://theconversationfactory.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielstillman/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/dastillman

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWq-kTusFz_n9e_x3AJfFjw

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theconversationfactory

Medium: https://daniel-stillman.medium.com/

About Daniel:

Daniel Stillman designs conversations for a living and insists that you do, too. He works with organizations like Google, Nike, and Visa to help them frame and sustain productive dialog, deepen their facilitation skills, and coach them through the innovation process. He also hosts The Conversation Factory podcast where he interviews leaders, changemakers, and innovators on how they design the conversations in their work and lives.

……..

If you enjoyed this interview you may also like my Just Get Started Podcast Interview with Seth Godin, Author, Founder and Speaker

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Daniel Stillman2021-12-30T15:27:55-04:00
  • Sophie Beren Profile Headshot

Sophie Beren

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Episode 207 brings back former guest and the Founder and CEO of the Conversationalist, Sophie Beren. We explore a lot of deep topics around difficult conversations and how to be more open to others’ viewpoints and ideas even if they don’t align with ours.

About Sophie:

Sophie Beren is a unifier from Wichita, Kansas. She is the Founder and CEO of The Conversationalist, a non-partisan educational platform empowering Gen Z to break out of their echo chambers, have difficult conversations, and unify the world. Her community of over 15,000 young people is committed to coming together, across differences, through “POVz” the first-ever Gen Z Talk Show airing in 2022, and through their digital network located on the Geneva app.

Sophie was recently named “25 Under 25” by Social Entrepreneur’s Magazine and “21 Women Entrepreneurs to Watch in 2021.” Her social impact journey began at The University of Pennsylvania where she received her Bachelor’s Degree in Communications and Music, and her Master’s Degree in Nonprofit Leadership.

Sophie’s work, featured in Forbes, Entrepreneur Magazine, and even on a billboard in Times Square, has proven to be the antidote to the polarization we see in our country today. Beren will continue to unify the next generation, one conversation at a time.

Find Sophie Online:

Personal Website: https://www.sophieberen.com/

Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sophieberen/

The Conversationalist:

Website: https://www.theconversationalist.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theconversationalistofficial/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theconversationalist/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/conversationalist

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophie-beren-5287b971/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5sUSj_flv6ZbqhTvoY6OVg

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theconversationalist 

Medium: https://medium.com/@the.conversationalist

……..

If you enjoyed this interview you may also like the first interview we did back on episode 91 of the Just Get Started Podcast – Listen here

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Sophie Beren2022-01-18T21:26:19-04:00

Disengage

Learn to recognize the patterns in a conversation and anticipate where it is headed.

Have we been here before and does it sound/feel similar? If so, how did it end before?

Like a bad movie sequel, the same storyline generally plays out with a worse ending.

If it’s heading down a bad path with an argument almost assured to be involved, disengage, or find an alternative path.

Do not put fuel on the fire.

Oftentimes, our ego can get in the way of solving the conflict by needing to be right. It’s okay to lose a battle if it means we never go to war.

The only way to change our thinking is to remove our ego and figure out the best way forward, even if that means it is not in our best interest at the time.

Disengage2021-12-02T16:02:44-04:00
  • David Wood Profile Headshot

David Wood

DAVID WOOD

EPISODE 186: High-Performance Coach | Author, Name That Mouse: Because the Elephant Isn’t The Only Animal In The Room

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Episode 186 brings back former guest David Wood (episode 144) to discuss his new book, “Name That Mouse: Because The Elephant Isn’t The Only Animal In the Room”.

Learn More About The Book: https://focus.ceo/mouse/

David has a special gift for all of the listeners: www.myfocusgift.com

Find David Online:

Website: http://focus.ceo/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/focus-ceo/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/_focusceo

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/_focusceo

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ExtraordinaryFocuswithDavidWood

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/extraordinaryfocus

Medium: https://www.facebook.com/playforrealll

About David:

After his life as a consulting actuary to Fortune 100 Companies, David built the world’s largest coaching business, becoming #1 on Google for “life coaching.”

Discovering that Shiny-Object-Syndrome is an epidemic among high performers, David coaches rock-star business owners to double revenue, achieve more in less time, and be a more extraordinary entrepreneur, partner, parent, and leader.

……..

If you enjoyed this interview you may also like my first interview with David on the Just Get Started Podcast –David Wood on Episode #144

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Review On Apple Podcasts

If you enjoy this episode I’d be grateful if you would leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts, if you believe I’ve earned it.  Thanks for listening!

David Wood2021-10-07T08:47:06-04:00
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