Constructing Fear

Fear creates walls around us.

Walls where we hope, by constructing them, we don’t get harmed by perceived threats.

For added measure, fear puts a roof overtop us to shelter from any potential future storm. There are no windows or doors. We fortified the fortress.

Better not even walk outside, there is some probability it’ll rain at some point.

Fear limits us. We are confined by these walls. We think they are keeping us safe but they are actually stifling our growth.

We need to spread our wings. We need to be free.

It doesn’t mean we have to sprint out of the house and frolic in unchartered land. It just means we need to inch ourselves forward, create an opening in the foundation, and peak out.

There are many ways to deal with fear. The first is to understand that it’s all made up in our own heads.

It’s a fictional story.

It’s an imaginary friend.

Try just one small thing today to lean into fear and then ask yourself “Did this really cause me any harm?”

The answer may surprise you.

It may give you the confidence to try it again tomorrow.

Who knows, you might be playing outside your comfort zone in no time at all.

Constructing Fear2023-04-07T14:24:35-04:00
  • Mike Lewis Profile Headshot

Mike Lewis

Mike Lewis Profile Headshot

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Episode 336 features Mike Lewis, Author of “When To Jump: When The Job You Have Isn’t The Life You Want”

Find Mike Online:

Website: http://whentojump.com/

Instagram: http://instagram.com/whentojump

Twitter: https://twitter.com/whentojump

Facebook: http://fb.com/whentojump

Mike’s Story:

Technically, this project started when I was 24. Only I didn’t know it then. What I did know was that I was at a crossroads.

​I was sitting at my desk in Boston, thinking about my longtime dream: take a break from corporate America and play the professional squash tour. I wanted someone to tell me when to go, but no one was gonna say, “Mike, it’s now July 1, time to go chase your dream, remember?” I could feel it slipping away.

Before letting that fear totally take over, I realized I couldn’t be the first and only person to be in this position. So I boiled it down to a simple question: should I stay the course in something comfortable, or take a risk to chase my passion? This seemed like a simple enough question. I wondered what others had done.

So I asked. I tracked down anyone who left something safe, whatever that was: a job in consulting or social work, in teaching or engineering. Through these conversations, I began collecting stories, with the common thread being that each person left something comfortable to pursue a passion. I stumbled into people from all over: ex-bankers, electricians, scientists, journalists–people from all walks of life who left the safe inertia of their own circumstances to try and do what they really wanted to be doing.

So I boiled it down to a simple question: should I stay the course in something comfortable, or take a risk to chase my passion?

After a while, it became clear that this was interesting stuff. I was compelled to share. I began passing these stories along to friends and family, bus passengers and bartenders—others who were at their own crossroads. The stories caught on. They were helpful and inspiring. I thought of a better way to get them out.

So that is what I am doing now. This project is about jumping. Sharing the amazing stories and ideas of those who have jumped into the unknown. Without them, I wouldn’t have been encouraged to jump. These stories enriched my life and I hope they enrich yours too.

……..

If you enjoyed this interview you may also like my Just Get Started Podcast Interview with Seth Godin, Author, Blogger, and Founder of Akimbo

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If you enjoy this episode I’d be grateful if you would leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts, if you believe I’ve earned it.  Thanks for listening!

Mike Lewis2023-04-11T19:52:05-04:00

Sitting Idle

What did we fail at today?

Failing means that we tried something uncomfortable or difficult and pushed ourselves a tad into a world of discomfort.

Acknowledging we failed shows us that we can accept our failures and it might give us the courage to try and fail again.

If we’re stuck, maybe the answer isn’t sitting idle and moping but getting out there and trying some new shit.

It’s just an idea we might want to ponder today.

Sitting Idle2022-08-11T19:58:26-04:00

Coffee Talk

A coffee cup is made for coffee. Until it’s not.

A coffee cup can be used for:
Tea and other drinks
As a measuring cup
To rinse your mouth while brushing
To hold pens and pencils
To trace a circle
To fill with loose change

We can keep going but the point is that just because a tool was intended for one purpose it doesn’t mean it can’t be used for many others.

Before we go and buy the latest widget to solve a problem we should look around and see if we can create a solution. We get to use our creativity and imagination like we’re kids again. We get to solve a puzzle.

It pushes us a bit outside our comfort zone and we get to take agency over the decision. It could be small but it will help us grow. It helps us think outside the box. It lets us question what can be possible if this is possible.

Sometimes a coffee cup is for coffee. Until it’s not.

Coffee Talk2022-04-11T20:09:32-04:00

I Want It That Way

If you’ve come across this blog then chances are with all the hardships in life yours isn’t that bad.

Chances are you have access to high-speed internet or 5G.

Chances are your phone was made sometime in the last handful of years and would be considered “smart”.

Chances are you have warm clothes on if there is a hint of a crisp morning outside.

Chances are when you arrive at work today it’ll be in the car you drove in or just a short few steps away from where you rolled out of bed.

Chances are, if you have kids, when you drop them off at school you are almost certain without worry you’ll pick them up safe and sound in the afternoon.

There is a good chance that your life (and mine) is a heck of a lot easier and more comfortable than a large majority of the world’s population. Probably 99% of it.

Yet, with that comfort also comes a barrier.

A barrier to let things go, seemingly meaningless things, that have almost zero effect on our lives.

A barrier to be patient and wait our turn instead of getting frustrated and causing a scene.

A barrier to thinking about how lucky we are to be in this position in the first place and cherish the hand we were dealt.

A barrier to enduring discomfort. Something the majority of the world has to live with every day.

We are fortunate for the opportunities we have and it’s important from time to time to call those out, head-on, in order to help us lead lives worth meaning and purpose instead of complaining and finger-pointing.

There are greater tragedies in life and many of them we are grateful to never have to think about.

I Want It That Way2022-07-31T13:14:39-04:00

The Comfy Chair

One of the perks of a good life is to be pampered. Have the red carpet rolled out for us and let us enjoy the fruits of our success.

AC and Heating units, warm baths, packages delivered right to our doorstep, internet, and streaming services. It’s all really comfy.

Comfy is an advantage of the “luck of the draw” living in a first-world country.

But comfy can turn into complacency quickly. Getting too comfortable can make us more fearful of things “out there” we hear about. It can make us be settled with what we have now in order to not rock the boat and potentially harm our “status”. It can help us avoid any risk because when we think of risk we think of failure.

Comfortable is a luxury we have but we have to decide if that’s what we want.

There is no right or wrong answer as it’s up to each of us to forge our own paths but it is interesting to consider what happens when we push past being comfy and get a little (or a lot) uncomfortable.

What can we achieve?
What can we progress?
What can we endure?

Innovation and advancement come from being uncomfortable, both inside and out, to go where we’ve never been before.

To go to the places that scare us.

To be comfortable with the uncomfortable.

The Comfy Chair2022-02-08T19:50:21-04:00

Travel Restrictions

When we live in our bubble the things we know and feel become very familiar. Our senses are dulled because we can already anticipate what is going to happen. We see it often. It’s comfortable.

The only way to actually grow, or see if we are growing, is through exploration. Visiting a new scene, a new area, a new world.

Traveling outside our bubble can unlock many “spidey senses” that live deep down but don’t get to come out often. We get to have our guard up and make choices. We get to paint a portrait of a new landscape we’ve never seen before.

It can make us alive again. It gives us a perspective that the world is much bigger than our bubble and it rattles our thinking a bit. It makes us question what we believe at this moment.

That’s a good thing.

Because that’s how growth happens, through challenging our thinking, expanding our experiences, and exploring a whole new world we’ve never seen before.

We just have to have the courage to go out there.

Travel Restrictions2022-01-14T16:40:48-04:00
  • Lexi Godlewski Profile Headshot

Lexi Godlewski

Lexi Godlewski Profile Headshot

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Episode 210 features Lexi Godlewski, a former guest of the Podcast (ep.135), Marketing Strategist & Success Coach. We spend most of the interview talking about her recent decision to move from New York to Hawaii and all of the emotions and changes that came along with it. This is such a great conversation around recognizing your feelings, stepping outside your comfort zone, and taking calculated risks to help lead you down a path toward happiness.

Find Lexi Online:

Text Her: 518-217-4552

Website: www.lexigodlewski.com

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lexigodlewski/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lexigodlewski

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lexigodlewski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lexigodlewski

About Lexi:

Lexi Godlewski is a heart-centered Marketing Strategist and Success Coach who helps experts transform into Soultrepreneurs! She’s also the podcast host of “Building My Empire”, which documents her journey as she builds her business from the ground up and gives listeners the secrets to creating a profitable business while experiencing the richness of life.

……..

If you enjoyed this interview you may also like my Just Get Started Podcast Interview with Rich Keller, Brand Strategist, and Entrepreneur Coach

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Review On Apple Podcasts

If you enjoy this episode I’d be grateful if you would leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts, if you believe I’ve earned it.  Thanks for listening!

Lexi Godlewski2022-01-15T21:02:21-04:00

The Toolbox of Knowledge

comfort zone

Over the past several years I’ve immersed myself into a deep state of learning more than I ever had before in my life. I’ve been trying to figure out, how do I get better and better each and every day? And not just “better” because that can be anything, but how do I acquire more knowledge, how do I do research on topics that are important to me, how do I push myself past that comfort zone that I lived a lot of my life in and ultimately improve at a very high rate of return.

Let me take a quick step back and kind of give some context behind it. In my teens and in my 20s there were periods where I had a really good work ethic like having a paper route when I was 11 years old and doing that for six years. I would wake up every single day between 5-6 AM, and I’m from upstate New York, so maybe a foot of snow sometimes. That taught me a lot of work ethic. And I remember even practicing golf, which was very important in my life, for hours on end in high school and college. I actually worked for the Registrar, which is the department in college that handles all classes and records and those types of things. I actually was able to schedule all of my classes when I wanted before anyone else and so I scheduled them literally the first couple classes in the morning every day so I’d be done before lunch. That allowed me to basically hit golf balls for three, four, or five hours and play golf every afternoon. I would just pound golf balls. That taught me work ethic.

The work ethic was there in periods. But I also noticed that sometimes I would have some lapses in that, whether it was in my job, maybe not go full effort, or from a fitness standpoint, I’d have ups and downs. I look back at those moments and I realized I left a lot on the table. There was a lot of stuff that I could have done differently or better or improved upon. Maybe I would be further ahead now than if I didn’t do that but I also am a “glass half full” guy and realize that it happened and I can now learn from it for the future and maybe help other people that haven’t been through that yet and give some guidance and insight into something that I stumbled with that could be important.

One of the lessons I uncovered I call the Toolbox of Knowledge. If you think about it, we acquire various knowledge through our own experiences all the time whether it’s through school, a job, relationships, etc. These situations are exactly where my metaphoric “toolbox” comes in handy.

As an example, imagine hiring someone because something’s wrong in your house. They say they can fix and promptly come over but there’s only one problem, they only arrive with one tool in hand.  Now, they could certainly get that job done, potentially. But if they don’t really know what the problem is, or didn’t expect it to exactly as they found it, one tool may not be enough and therefore they can’t possibly handle the task or it might end up being extremely challenging and corners might be cut.

Now imagine that same person showing up and having one or two or three big toolboxes, all different tools, all sizes, and different materials to help out in whatever challenge they approached. I’d bet money they can get the job done.

That’s how I want everyone to think about their life. Since we can’t change the past, let’s not focus on it. What’s happened has happened. So, I really want everyone to focus on going forward. Whether it’s your day job you have, whether it’s some side hustle, it could be something with your family, it could be your fitness and nutrition.

What are you going to do to fill up that next toolbox or the next one after that?

Think about your job today. Are you maximizing every once of the opportunity to learn? If you’re in sales, for instance, do you seek out advice from the top reps in the company to learn, have you sat with other managers to gain perspective on how they run their teams or are you talking with customer success teams to learn more about the customer’s needs.  These are small examples but they are the kind of things that can be done to help you gain additional knowledge and leverage that experience for your future.

The real question when you look in your “accountability mirror” is are you maximizing your opportunities to learn information that could be very useful for you many years down the road.

I take it from a fitness standpoint, right? You can certainly putter around each day; maybe you go for a walk. But maybe you don’t eat well, right? Maybe you’ve put on some weight; maybe your fitness is not there.

Are you acquiring the proper knowledge to help you get healthier and improve? Are you doing research to figure out if there is a better way that’s going to improve my longevity, my sleep, or my energy? Or are you just using the information you’ve gathered from the past and assuming it’s still correct?

That’s really what I want to challenge everyone that’s reading this to think about. What could your “toolbox” be next week, next month, or next year? Could you just fill it up a little bit more or could you fill up three toolboxes full?

When you’re carrying it into that next job, or that new gym you signed up, or maybe a new relationship you have to ask yourself what you are bringing to the table starting out and how are you going to grow to be a better person going forward. How are you going to try and taste new things and new experiences to build up that toolbox.

Try one thing next week. That’s it, one thing, and see what happens.  Reach out to a co-worker in a different department that works with your department from time to time. Ask them questions to learn about their day-to-day and be curious to know what things they know that could be valuable for your role, and vice versa.  If you feel you’ve gained weight, go search online for an hour about healthy foods and ways to structure your eating such as Intermittent Fasting. There are so many simple ways to gain more knowledge and learn from new experiences.

The hard part is to slip out of the warm comfortable bath and into an uncomfortable cold shower. However, I’ve learned if you do it in small doses you start to form the proper habits and harden your mind to do these things more often.

I want everyone to have that mindset. It’s a glass half full mindset, you’ve got to be positive in order to have the courage to shed the insecurities and seek out unknown places and conversations because those are the situations that make you a better human being both inside and out and allow you to carry that toolbox around and tackle any job in your path.

If you’d like to hear the full audio version of this article on my Just Get Started Podcast click here to go to Apple Podcasts-> The Toolbox of Knowledge One Mic Session or you can listen on any major Podcasting platform.  This episode originally aired on September 12th, 2019.

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The Toolbox of Knowledge2021-03-19T10:42:26-04:00
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