Sleep Deprived

It’s too easy to lose sleep over the things that we lose.

We place blame, rationalize, and tell stories. We tell some wild stories.

None of it is helpful. Whether we have control or not, it is what it is.

That’s the realist part of it. Whatever happened has already happened.

The question is, do we have a choice to change it? 

→ If yes, then do we want to?

→ If yes, then do the work to lead us down that path.

If not, then why worry? It doesn’t mean we can’t be emotional, feel loss or grieve. It just means at some point we have to drop it.

We can’t continue to dwell in imagination.

As painful as it is, we must focus on being realistic.

Real to the moment and what is in front of us and then making good decisions going forward.

There’s no sense in looking back.

Not if it’s going to keep us awake with anxiety and worry. Because that compounds the situation.

Instead, think positively. 

Focus on the next step.

Life will be okay. In time, it always is.

Sleep Deprived2023-11-19T14:24:39-04:00

Suspense Thriller

Despite what we may think, we are incredible storytellers.

We make up stories to fill in the gaps in the unknown.

To paint a picture that doesn’t yet exist through our biases and beliefs.

We make it compelling and exciting and if we think about it long enough we might even believe it is true.

When the future moment becomes the present, how many times does that story live up to the hype of the moment?

That should tell us something.

Maybe our embellishment of the potential outcome is unhelpful and irrational.

It leads us to worry and stress over things that are irrelevant.

It’s a narrative that might choose not to write in the first place.

Suspense Thriller2023-08-03T19:02:38-04:00

Fairytale Ending

We worry because we care. That’s human.

We might care about what might happen or about someone’s well-being or a myriad of other things.

Worrying is the act of suffering now for a future state we are unsure of.

It is based on stories we are making up in our heads.

It’s almost never helpful because worrying tends to trend toward the negative. Rarely are we making these stories up with a fairy tale ending?

We think it’s helpful to play the various simulations in our head, but more times than not, the stories don’t end up exactly as we planned them anyways. They almost never do.

We never truly know what happens until it happens.

We may not be able to fully stop our worrying but we might consider combating the negativity by creating a more positive outcome of that future state.

Something that moves away from doom and gloom and becomes more sunshine and rainbows.

Because if we’re going to fabricate a story of something that hasn’t happened yet wouldn’t it be better to give it a more optimistic plot twist?

Fairytale Ending2022-11-01T20:04:12-04:00

Escape Room

Decisions are made through a mix of past experiences, current conditions, others’ judgment, fear, etc.

Being decisive is a key element to knowing if we are on the right path toward understanding who we are and what makes us happy.

Because indecision comes from our inability to make clear choices.

We want everything.

We feel we are missing out if we choose one thing over another.

We get stuck.

When we continually question ourselves and our decisions it shows a lack of focus on a vision for our future. We have no idea what we actually want and therefore will get paralyzed with fear and anxiety when having to make decisions, especially ones that appear difficult.

We can’t let ourselves go down this path. We have to be willing to stand our ground and be comfortable and confident with who we are and what we believe in. If we aren’t there yet then we have to be willing to put in the work to understand why.

It’s okay if we are different from everyone else in the room.

Have we ever considered, that maybe we are in the wrong room?

Be okay with making the decision to walk out and find a better one that fits the life we want.

Escape Room2022-06-01T15:39:15-04:00

Open The Floodgates

Anxiety is a real thing. We should accept it as such and understand that it will happen to us over and over again. 

There may be many causes but one that surfaces most often is our ability, or lack thereof, to control an outcome. 

When we are waiting we are anxious. Because we want the answer to go one way but know there is some level of probability it won’t. So we have doubts. Which causes anxiety to flood our bodies. 

This is where we can use questions to calm ourselves. 

What do we want the outcome to be?

Why do we want it that way?

What’s the worse that happens if it doesn’t go that way?

How will we react given unfavorable news?

What are the alternatives we haven’t considered?

By preparing mentally for answers or outcomes that we might not be able to control, comfort comes with internal understanding. It comes with acceptance. 

It’s not that we don’t want certain things to happen but it’s accepting that they might not and being okay with that outcome. It doesn’t happen randomly. We have to invest the time in surfacing these feelings in order to face them head-on. 

We might be anxiously awaiting an outcome but we can help ourselves by understanding why we are even anxious in the first place. 

We can create a space of patience and calmness that ends up helping us well after this specific event passes by. 

Because the next anxious moment is right around the corner and it would serve us well to learn how to handle it.

Open The Floodgates2022-07-31T13:09:20-04:00
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