acceptance Archives - Brian Ondrako

Sour Grapes

Have you ever left a job you once loved only to start a new one and believe it’s now the greatest thing in the world?

The same can be said for a relationship that goes sour but the next one happens to be unbelievable.

When these things happen it should give us a slight pause. Are we running toward something or running away from something else?

The honeymoon stage of any new endeavor is excellent but soon enough the same old patterns of the past could repeat if we aren’t willing to pull the curtain back and understand why.

What was the true reason it didn’t work out?

Are we the ones at fault?

If we could do something different what could we have done?

Don’t run away from the past.

It’s ripe with lessons we desperately need to make our future less painful.

Sour GrapesBrian Ondrako2023-11-08T12:24:33-04:00

Identity Theft

Our identity is going to change well before people take notice.

And that’s why we get strange looks and odd questions.

One day we are one thing to someone and then randomly, almost like it’s out of the blue, we become something different.

To them it happened overnight but we know better. There was a lot of work that went into the transformation.

We battle the “old guard” daily and work to strip down our prior version to only the parts that serve us any longer.

The fact that anyone noticed, good or bad, should be a compliment.

We shed the old skin and have become our new version.

If anyone should admire it, it should be ourselves.

Identity TheftBrian Ondrako2023-09-30T14:54:37-04:00

Magic Of Reality

Fiction can be fun but it’s in accepting our reality that we are able to forge a clearer direction.

That can be with relationships, careers, finances, or otherwise.

Are we telling ourselves the entire truth or are we embellishing the story to not hurt ourselves?

The choice is to either hurt a little now or a lot later. Eventually, if we neglect the truth it will come back to bite us.

Acceptance today clears the way for a better tomorrow.

Stop denying the facts. You’re only hurting yourself.

Magic Of RealityBrian Ondrako2023-10-06T05:29:49-04:00

F.O.M.O.

Replace “Fear of missing out” with “Joy of missing out” and a next level mindset shift happens.

We begin to choose ourselves.

Happiness flows from there.

F.O.M.O.Brian Ondrako2023-01-26T09:39:52-04:00

Set Us Free

Sometimes life can be confusing and the easiest thing for us to do is make up a story in our head of what has happened.

But, we have to catch ourselves.

We can’t assume we know. We can’t assume we have the answers. We can’t cloud our minds with our imagined stories of what may have occurred.

We can only control our reaction to the situation, any situation, and keep a calm head about it. It doesn’t mean we can’t be nervous, anxious, or confused.

Those are real human emotions and we must recognize these feelings are important to have but we should counterbalance them by posing a simple question.

“Is it true?”

If we can be honest with ourselves we may find that the truth doesn’t align with how we are perceiving the situation. Our stories become fantasies and make-believe,

It opens us up to letting those feelings subside and no longer control us.

In this case, the truth can set us free.

Set Us FreeBrian Ondrako2022-11-09T18:18:57-04:00

Fairytale Ending

We worry because we care. That’s human.

We might care about what might happen or about someone’s well-being or a myriad of other things.

Worrying is the act of suffering now for a future state we are unsure of.

It is based on stories we are making up in our heads.

It’s almost never helpful because worrying tends to trend toward the negative. Rarely are we making these stories up with a fairy tale ending?

We think it’s helpful to play the various simulations in our head, but more times than not, the stories don’t end up exactly as we planned them anyways. They almost never do.

We never truly know what happens until it happens.

We may not be able to fully stop our worrying but we might consider combating the negativity by creating a more positive outcome of that future state.

Something that moves away from doom and gloom and becomes more sunshine and rainbows.

Because if we’re going to fabricate a story of something that hasn’t happened yet wouldn’t it be better to give it a more optimistic plot twist?

Fairytale EndingBrian Ondrako2022-11-01T20:04:12-04:00

The Greatest Gift

We’ve all had more “failed” relationships than we can count.

Friendships are no longer intact.

Business partnerships split.

Divorce and Break-ups.

It’s happened throughout our lives and emotionally those take a toll on us.

But, there is a silver lining to all of it.

If we are willing we can gain a positive perspective and take away gifts.

Although those relationships have soured, the gifts that have come out of them might make a world of difference in our future.

We are more thoughtful about what we want and don’t settle for mediocrity any longer.
We are more decisive about our actions and don’t waiver.
We are more grateful for the opportunities that arose out of the ashes.

I’ve had many gifts that have come out of relationships that haven’t worked out.

The greatest of all is my son.

The Greatest GiftBrian Ondrako2022-09-20T20:14:46-04:00

Conquering Fools

There comes a point where all of us have to make a choice in life.

Do we choose to keep searching for “better”, for a perceived perfect, or do we make a decision to be happy with what we have in front of us?

That’s a choice that is hard for many to make because society always talks about striving for more and better. To keep improving, advancing, and conquering.

What is often missed is that we can conquer as a team and still advance toward a pursuit of better, if we’d like.

We don’t have to do it alone.

Building a life with someone is a journey in itself. There will be highs and lows, constantly, but there will also be support, trust, and respect.

We will be able to communicate and game-plan together. We can make each other better.

So, as we nitpick every nuance and every “red flag” and decide which life path we should choose, remember this…Life is to be lived. It shouldn’t be perfect.

We aren’t perfect. And neither is anyone else.

But together, we can become the best versions of ourselves. We can raise the level of our skills together.

We can have someone volley the ball back to us and keep us on our toes, moving and growing.

That appears like a much better alternative than hitting the perfect shot with no one on the other side returning serve.

I know which game I’d rather play.

Conquering FoolsBrian Ondrako2022-09-20T19:33:00-04:00

Homeward Bound

Just because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re wrong.

Chances are as we are trying to live our best life we’ll be exploring new ideas and it may waiver from what we’re known for.

Keep going.

We are always going to be misunderstood early on as we adapt and change. We’ll be questioned and judged. We’ll be ridiculed.

But we’ll attract the right kind of energy from the right kind of people.

Our being different will be seen as a special gift.

We’ll be welcomed and supported.

We’ll find our home again.

Homeward BoundBrian Ondrako2022-09-10T17:30:13-04:00

Co-Existence

Some people think it’s sexy to have a fancy car, lovely jewelry, or a big house.

But, others, think it’s sexy to talk for hours over a cup of coffee, enjoy a long walk on the beach, or find time to “unplug” and think.

Someone else’s happiness doesn’t have to be our happiness.

We have to stop worrying about what other people think about our choices and, at the same time, start accepting them for how they choose to live their lives.

Both of these can co-exist.

When they do, we all become happier because of it.

Co-ExistenceBrian Ondrako2022-06-14T20:55:37-04:00

Perfect Game

Perfect doesn’t exist.

We’ll make mistakes. We’ll fail. We’ll embarrass ourselves.

Something is bound to go wrong.

But shouldn’t we expect that?

Nothing is ever perfect, and if something appeared to be, wouldn’t it feel manufactured and fake?

Embrace the stumbling and staggering and blindly wandering into the dark woods ahead.

Embrace not knowing the exact way.

You’re not alone, nobody else does either.

Perfect GameBrian Ondrako2022-06-28T19:41:53-04:00

Approval Rating

We become disappointed when others are not as excited about our accomplishments as we are. We didn’t get enough likes or shares or engagement. We can let it get to our heads and change our mood, even in the midst of the accomplishment that might have been really important for us.

But, we have to remember, when others accomplish something, how often are we to compliment them, hit the simple “like” button as we are scrolling, leave a comment, etc? If we aren’t doing this often then why should we expect others to?

Getting really good at not needing the outside praise can do wonders for our psyche and it starts from a place of perspective.

The perspective we should have is that most of us are worrying about ourselves and the small bubble we live in. Other people are not intentionally avoiding us or our achievement. They just don’t necessarily care because it doesn’t benefit them directly or they are head down working on the things that are leading them toward a better life.

That’s okay. We have to be okay with this.

As long as we are living our ethos, our purpose, and putting good energy out into the world then that is all that should matter.

Because, remember, as we are focusing on that, we may be missing the opportunity to acknowledge someone else’s accomplishment. And that’s okay. We can’t be everywhere. Nor should we expect that from anyone else.

Approval RatingBrian Ondrako2021-11-28T21:32:01-04:00

The Silent Majority

If we got away from the noise and pressure of pleasing others we might find clarity in our thoughts.

As much as we might have a hard time trusting them, our thoughts paint a colorful picture of the world we’d like to live in and the person we’d like to be.

Our thoughts are truthseekers. Our thoughts are vivid and exploratory. Our thoughts hold a key that could unlock our dreams.

Which is why we often avoid them. We’re scared of what our thoughts might tell us. We fear the truth. We fear it telling us something far different than what the world wants us to be.

So we seek chaos and noise and warm bodies. We seek distractions. We thrive on being busy.

But when we get those moments of calm where our thoughts can become vibrant, those moments can wake us up and make us whole again, even if only for a few precious minutes.

Instead of running away, we should be seeking, chasing, and trying to plan more of those moments as they might end up giving us the fuel we need to power us to the next level of our growth.

We just have to bridge the gap between what the world wants us to be and what we truly want to be. That bridge is built on acceptance. We must accept the truth within and respect it for what it is. That is the only way we can start to become comfortable with our path forward.

Walking toward the truth ends up being the most honest thing we can do for ourselves and for our lives.

The Silent MajorityBrian Ondrako2021-11-02T20:35:49-04:00

Acceptable Behavior

If you’ve ever witnessed a group of kids playing together who just met for the first time it’s one of the greatest inspirations that we might make it as a civilization.

There’s no judgment.

There are no hurtful words.

There’s no bias because of their skin color, hair color, accent, clothing, or insert any other number of odd ways our society tries to group people.

They just play.

They have fun.

They work together.

They don’t hold grudges.

It’s refreshing.

We think we have all the answers because we are grown adults but all along the answers were actually right in front of us. We’ve just failed to recognize them because our ego has clouded our judgment.

Acceptance of others, even those that appear different, might be the route we should take and see how it works out for us.

It seems to have worked out well for our children.

Acceptable BehaviorBrian Ondrako2021-10-03T12:18:20-04:00

That Is Weird

We’re all weird. I’m most definitely weird.

There are a few definitions of the word but I’d lean toward what the masses would articulate as weird and that is by using another word; Different.

That’s what kids mean when they say something is weird. They mean they don’t understand it, it’s new, it’s unlike anything they’ve seen before. It’s different.

Kids generally tell it like it is. They speak their mind as the stream of consciousness flows. And that should inform us of something.

Weird isn’t bad, it’s just different.

We should consider our “weirdness” a gift we can share with the world and look upon it as a benefit.

Have you ever watched a Sci-Fi Movie or Show where everyone dresses the exact same and basically looks the same? Can we even imagine how boring and limiting that must be? We can’t express ourselves, we can’t find people who share our values or our interests, we can’t find our tribe to belong to. To me, that seems like a sad way to go about living.

When we truly discover ourselves, find self-love, and detach away from the outside noise we can start to find where we belong. We can do the things that make us feel good, bring us joy, and allow us to express ourselves. We can find belonging with people who accept us for who we are and what we bring to the table. It doesn’t mean someone has to always agree with us or won’t challenge us but it’s someone who is there to be supportive and generous with their time and effort in the relationship.

We should consider changing our perspective on what weird is and why it’s important. The problem we see with the world is that we want everyone to have our weirdness and think like us and if they don’t it must mean there is something wrong with them.

Deep down we really know that’s not true.

Deep down we know it’s an “us” issue and not a “them”.

Deep down we still have work to do.

They may not be the people you connect with or form a strong bond with but it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have their own voice. Acceptance of others and gaining perspective on how others may think, feel, and act as the first big step to growth and being comfortable with who you are and knowing it’s okay if others aren’t exactly the same way.

I’m weird and I think being your own kind of weird is really cool.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

That Is WeirdBrian Ondrako2021-08-18T18:24:22-04:00

I Don’t Know

Sometimes saying “I don’t know” is the first step to a new discovery. The admittance that we are naked with our knowledge, vulnerable with our thoughts, and open to what will come next might be all we need to break out into a brave new direction.

That single truth of acceptance is the catalyst for change.

I Don’t KnowBrian Ondrako2021-06-22T21:37:50-04:00