Why is it important for us to be right?
Why do we get defensive at the first sign of an adverse response to what we believe is true?
It’s rooted in our belief in ourselves.
I received the “Most Argumentative” superlative for my senior year of high school. I lobbied for that title. I wore it like a badge of honor.
I thought it was cool to be argumentative because I hadn’t learned that healthy dialogue and constructive listening were much cooler.
Arguing was the status quo for me. It’s how my family communicated with one another. It’s how we shared our feelings. I didn’t know any better. I had believed that was how everyone communicated.
But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t at fault.
As I matured, I began to recognize that there was another way forward.
It was rooted in empathy and understanding of the other person.
And it wasn’t about winning. It was about learning.
I couldn’t possibly know everything about a topic so how could I be so confident I was correct?
I wasn’t confident but I was stubborn.
I was blinded by the “belief” that I was correct.
It’s our beliefs that can hold us back.
We become steadfast and proud of what we claim is right and we hold firm in our opinions even though facts may argue otherwise.
Having a healthy debate is necessary but it’s no longer the “loudest person in the room wins.”
It’s about questions and curiosity. It’s about respectful banter. It’s about learning things from a different perspective.
It’s something we should all be willing to agree on.