Growing up I learned some poor lessons. The loudest person in the room wins.

Sadly, it took me 25 years to realize that wasn’t correct. Not even close to correct.

Shouting gets us nowhere. We may feel like we “win” because the argument ends but it’s only adding kindling to a smothered fire. 

Instead, be open to hearing out the other person on their ideas and working toward accepting that it may not be a bad path to go down after all. Although it means we are not in control it doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea. 

Plus, it shows the other party that we can be open and our minds can be pliable to change with different situations. We can think clearly on our feet and make rational decisions that are for the betterment of both of us, not just us.

Rarely does a simple act like this do anything detrimental? The point is to get from A to B with whatever obstacle we are trying to talk through. If we always have to be right and control the situation, that is an “Us” problem, not a “Them” one. Growth happens in all different ways and sometimes it is stepping outside your body (metaphorically) and hitting the pause button on the remote when you are about to insert your dominance or controlling perspective again.

Take a quick breath and look at the situation. What happens if you ask what the other person thinks is the best route and then agree with it. 

It’s a novel idea but what if it works. What if it diffuses a situation and turns the control over to the other party for them to exert their energy. It could be just what they needed to feel heard and it could be exactly what you needed, to be supportive.