I Woke Up Like This
If we wake up every day trying to do our best the hard work pays off eventually.
We never know when it’s going to click but we keep at it.
Day by day.
Minute by minute.
Second by second.
Progress is made.
We’ve moved another step forward.
We’re closer to where we want to be.
If that doesn’t bring us happiness I’m not sure what will.
Dynasty
The most cherished sports dynasties in the world are coveted because of a long run of winning outwardly.
But it’s the things that nobody talks about that makes them a dynasty.
Putting in the reps on the practice field, mostly on the fundamentals.
Supporting each other when players had an off night.
Trusting them when the game is on the line.
Never talking trash about their teammates.
Leaving them alone when they need it.
Being their biggest cheerleader.
Being a shoulder to cry on.
Relationships are like sports dynasties, in a way. The great ones have a long track record of “winning” because they are built on the foundation of trust, respect, support, and communication.
It’s not about perfection.
It’s about showing up time after time.
Together.
As a team.
Moving The Needle
One of the hardest things I’ve had to do as a parent is let my son fail.
He’s extremely passionate when he puts his mind to something but can get frustrated rather quickly when he doesn’t “get it”.
That’s when the instinct to step in and help bubbles up.
But I stop myself. I have to let him struggle. He has to do it on his own.
It’s the only way he’s going to realize that pouting, arguing, or complaining doesn’t move the needle.
It’s through focused practice that does.
It’s a lesson for me as much as it is for him.
We all struggle but it’s with patience and perseverance that we can work through the hard parts and come out the other side more confident and resilient.
We become stronger because of it.
A Moment Like This
At the moment, we feel like this is going to last forever.
We’ll have more opportunities, like this one, to do it again.
Things end far too abruptly but the worst pain is the slow-burning kind.
The ones where we could’ve invested more time but took it all for granted.
Those are the ones that hurt the most.
We may not be able to control the abrupt changes life offers but we have to recognize the ones that are coming up in the distance.
Be grateful for the opportunities when they are in your possession and recognize that each day is one less you’ll be able to do this.
They are precious reminders of the changing tides of life.
Squeeze The Creative Juices
When creativity flows one of the worst things we can do is suppress it.
We can’t be certain that the idea or flow of consciousness will ever come again.
We must embrace it head-on.
Write it down.
Start building.
Give yourself a start.
It won’t be complete today but we’ve seeded an idea that was stuck inside and wanted to be released.
It’s now out of our heads.
It’s become real.
It’s time to act on it.
Pavlov’s Dog
We all know the Pavlov Dog experiment.
Ring the bell. A treat appears.
Ring the bell. A treat appears.
Ring the bell. A treat appears.
The dog is expecting the treat after the next bell rings.
It’s conditioned to. Just like we are.
When we are mistreated, abused, disrespected or discarded we start to form patterns in our brain that try to connect the dots with every situation we encounter.
We try to find similarities to prove it’s the same.
Our default is to think that it’s going to transpire again.
We have been conditioned for it.
This is where we have an opportunity for growth.
We can have a pattern interrupt.
We can shift our thinking.
Just because the old way didn’t serve us doesn’t mean it’ll always be this way.
Let’s outthink the dog. Let’s not be ready to pounce once we hear the bell.
With a new mindset our treat can become the thing we’ve always wanted.
But only if we are open to receiving it.
Peak Of Good Living
Life is full of peaks and valleys.
If you never have days that feel off then how would you know what you need to work on?
The peaks are always memorable because it’s the valleys that make them stand out.
Embrace the bad days.
They make us who we are.
Lifetime Engagement
At 15, I was thinking in days.
At 25, I was thinking in years.
By 35, I was thinking in decades.
I’ve never felt more present each day because of that mindset change.
Discover a purpose and you can live it for the rest of your life.
Centenarian Club
When I asked my 100-year-old great-uncle what has been the most important part of his life it all came down to relationships.
His relationship with his parents
His relationship with his sisters
His relationship with his wife
His relationship with his friends
It was his relationships that made for a fulfilling and happy life.
Sometimes they last for a day.
Sometimes they last for a season.
Sometimes they last for a lifetime.
But, more than anything they make a lasting imprint on our lives.
We can all take something from that reflection.
Starter Jacket
Let’s acknowledge all of the “Starters” and not just the Entrepreneurs.
A lot of things posted on social media categorize the people “doing things” only as entrepreneurs.
That’s a small minority.
Here’s to all of the people who recently:
- Started that garden
- Dedicated time to reading
- Added a walking meeting
- Asked out a person they liked
- Put healthier options in their shopping cart
- Pondered what was giving them anxiety
- Started to learn an instrument
- Put in time on an idea they had
If you’re starting something then I want to give you a big virtual high five.
You’ve crested a hill many are unwilling to climb.
Keep up the great work and keep going!
Fresh Start
Nothing happens until you start.
No experience.
No learning.
No failure.
No nothing.
If we keep it up in our heads or push it aside for one more day it only eats at us like a dead carcass rotting in the road.
Slowly and painfully until we hate ourselves for it.
Regret creeps in and it adds stress to our lives.
We have to do ourselves a favor and start.
It doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect.
It just has to be what we want to do.
Maintenance Schedule
There’s a reason we call consistent maintenance on our vehicles “routine” or “preventive”. It’s so that we don’t go without checking in and understanding where it needs some work before it breaks down completely.
How honest are we with ourselves about our own “routine maintenance”?
Do we prioritize this at all?
If:
- We are scattered each day with no consistent schedule
- We prioritize others before prioritizing ourselves
- Are always feeling like we are behind
- Are never satisfied with the results.
Then it might be time for a check-in.
Asking ourselves questions like:
- Why are we not holding ourselves accountable for specific scheduling of activity, sleep, etc?
- Why are we unwilling to give ourselves time before we let others control it?
- Why does this always get chopped in favor of other “priorities”?
- Why do we do so much and feel it’s not enough?
- Are most of these tasks even important to us?
We have to prioritize the “check-in” and it can’t be once a year like our annual physical.
It needs to be constant. It needs to become routine.
Otherwise, we have gotten so out of whack that we aren’t sure where to begin.
Start now.
Get ahead of it.
Make it a routine practice.
We’ll prevent a complete breakdown and save ourselves a lot of heartache in the process.
Constructing Fear
Fear creates walls around us.
Walls where we hope, by constructing them, we don’t get harmed by perceived threats.
For added measure, fear puts a roof overtop us to shelter from any potential future storm. There are no windows or doors. We fortified the fortress.
Better not even walk outside, there is some probability it’ll rain at some point.
Fear limits us. We are confined by these walls. We think they are keeping us safe but they are actually stifling our growth.
We need to spread our wings. We need to be free.
It doesn’t mean we have to sprint out of the house and frolic in unchartered land. It just means we need to inch ourselves forward, create an opening in the foundation, and peak out.
There are many ways to deal with fear. The first is to understand that it’s all made up in our own heads.
It’s a fictional story.
It’s an imaginary friend.
Try just one small thing today to lean into fear and then ask yourself “Did this really cause me any harm?”
The answer may surprise you.
It may give you the confidence to try it again tomorrow.
Who knows, you might be playing outside your comfort zone in no time at all.
Just Do It
Nothing that is going to be worth it, in the long run, will be easy to start today.
So if you’re wondering if should you do it or not, the answer is an emphatic YES!
Because here’s the thing, what’s the worse that could happen?
Most likely it will end up less painful than the regret you’ll feel from not making the attempt.
A Chat With An Old Friend
I had a surreal experience recently.
It’s something I’ll plan on doing more often.
I closed my eyes for my meditation practice but his time, instead of breath work and centering myself, I tried something different.
I went back to a memory of myself as a teenager and I pulled out a vision of a room in my house during that time of my life. It was an addition we added to the house. There was a couch up against the wall I used to sit on often. I honed in on that spot.
Then, it got a bit weird.
I sat with him. Well, him being me. Although a much younger version.
My current self sitting across from my teenage self.
That young, nieve, scared, confused young man looking back at me.
And we talked.
I told him being scared means you care. It means you believe in what you are doing but haven’t mustered up the courage to act.
I told him that the bridge you have to cross to gain courage is a leap of faith. It’s where confidence builds and strength comes from.
I told him that even at my age, you won’t have all the answers and in fact, many more questions.
We talked about a lot of things.
He even questioned me.
It was sobering.
It made me realize I still have work to do.
Self-reflection is one of the most generous actions we can take for ourselves. We turn inward to learn where we’ve come from and it helps us build the foundation for a better tomorrow.
You may not go deep into your past and talk to your younger self but sitting for a few minutes each day with your eyes closed will help you grow to appreciate the moment.
Give yourself that time to reflect as it’ll compound into something unimaginable.
Negotiation Tactics
The difference between kids and adults is that kids almost exclusively do things that are either fun, challenging, or both. They don’t waste time on the things that they don’t enjoy. They don’t have the patience for it.
Adults are quite the opposite. Most days we spend doing things we don’t enjoy. We “suck it up” and put in a hard day’s work. We curse our jobs and want to find things that bring us more fun and excitement.
There’s a lesson in there.
Kids don’t negotiate with themselves. Adults almost always do.
Want to enjoy life more? Want to have more fun? Want to discover happiness at a higher rate?
Remove things that aren’t serving you.
Do what you say you’re going to do.
Hold yourself accountable.
When you stop negotiating with yourself a clearer direction follows.
Magic Show
Don’t fall for the misdirection, the rabbit being pulled out of the hat, the flash mob.
We are often blinded by the “vocal minority” and the “dog and pony show” that is going on.
It dominates the narrative but we can’t fall for the trap of getting sucked into it.
Be skeptical. Be curious. Ask questions.
Are we being fed the truth or is it only partially true?
Seek out the truth yourself.
Don’t get lazy.
Go deeper.
It takes courage to question the things that are ingrained in us but it is one of the important parts of growth.
If we can question our own beliefs then what else can we question? What else is appearing to be the truth that may end up not being correct at all?
Are we going to believe the rabbit magically appeared in the hat or is there another side of the story that we would be willing to consider?
Starter Kit
Nothing happens until we start.
No experience.
No learning.
No failure.
No nothing.
If we keep it up in our heads or push it aside for one more day it only eats at us like a dead carcass rotting in the road.
Slowly and painfully until we hate ourselves for it.
Regret creeps in and it adds stress to our lives.
We have to do ourselves a favor and start.
It doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect.
It just has to be what we want to do.
Turn That Frown Upside Down
Grab a pen and paper or open your Notes app on your phone and write down the 5 things that are bothering you the most right now in your life. Whatever is taking up space in your head and troubling you.
There are no wrong answers.
Give yourself a second to write these things down. Their writing of them is important as it makes them become more real.
Now that you have your five, I’d like you to rephrase all of them into a statement that resembles something more positive, “glass half full”, and optimistic.
For instance, if one of your complaints was…
My job is so stressful and I feel like I can never catch up at all. The work keeps piling up.
Maybe rewriting it to be positive looks something like this…
With the job being so stressful lately it’s helping me prioritize the things in my life that are the most important to me and I want to work toward doing those more often.
I’m making up a random example but the point is that a positive mindset always wins. I love the quote by Earl Nightingale which says, “We become what we think about.” If we are thinking negatively, complaining often, and always upset then that’s how we will perceive the world. We’ll be frustrated, closed off from conversations, and be looking at everything from a “glass half empty” perspective.
However, if we can use what is bothering us into positive momentum forward then we can create a brand new perspective on life. One that is filled with gratitude and hope. One with a more opportunistic view of each situation we are in.
Change is a long, tedious process, and getting to the starting line to change for the better is hard enough. We must recognize that our minds control our actions and our actions determine what direction we move in.
If our mind isn’t right then our actions are going to suffer.
The first step in doing that is creating a new narrative on our life. A new storyline. One with hope and optimism instead of doom and gloom.
Find the courage to write these thoughts down and hold yourself accountable to changing the tone and attitude of the message and you’ll start to change your mindset for the better.
You’ll become what you think about.
Rocky
Today I:
- Questioned myself (many times)
- Compared myself to others
- Felt like an Imposter
- Had a pity party
- Procrastinated
- Was impatient
- Got Rejected
- Complained
And that was all before dinner.
Each day is like a right hook from Ivan Drago.
We need to take the punches like Rocky.
Remember, “It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
We are where we are today because we stood in the ring and took a beating, mostly from ourselves.
We may have gotten knocked down but we rose back up from the mat and kept fighting.
We have to believe we have the strength to overcome any new obstacle standing in our way.
We have enough battle scars to prove it.
Purpose Driven Life
I imagine there we people in 1823 writing down their thoughts, their fears, and their desires for a better world. They were trying to craft new inventions and believing that they could make a greater impact.
They pushed forward.
They tinkered and failed.
They wanted better for themselves
They wanted a better world for their children.
But why?
Why do any of us strive to do anything more than sit around and let life pass by?
It comes down to purpose. It gives the great days momentum and the bad ones hope for a better tomorrow.
Purpose can be anything. It doesn’t have to be grandiose. It doesn’t have to be landing on Mars. It just has to be real to each of us.
What do we feel at our core?
What do we believe the world should look like?
Where can we make an impact?
That’s our purpose.
If you’ve “found it” then you know. If you haven’t then you aren’t that far behind.
You just have to start looking, trying, testing and tasting. You have to be willing to trust your instincts and respect what your thoughts are guiding you toward.
In time, it’ll click. Something inside you that gives you that focus you haven’t witnessed before. That fire to want to do more. The willingness to step out of the warm blanket of comfort and be naked to the world.
It makes us alive, again and again, as we dig deeper and learn more. We may not be understood by others around us but we understand ourselves more than we ever have before.
That’s what we should all strive for.
That’s what makes life worth living.
That’s the purpose.
Journal To The Center Of Our Soul
Some people don’t like journaling. It takes time, effort, and the willingness to bring our deepest thoughts into the world.
It can be scary.
But I’ll encourage you to try it.
Why?
It helps us stay present.
It slows down our minds.
It gives us an opportunity to reflect.
“Therapy” can be a variety of things. Writing has been the best therapy for me.
It may not end up being your jam but giving it a chance might open up your mind to a new way of thinking and help you through the stresses and worries of life.
If you’re open to it, here’s what I do. Borrow what you like, change what you don’t.
I journal prior to bed for 5-10 minutes and ask myself 4 questions.
What am I grateful for today and Why?
What was the biggest lesson I learned today?
What thoughts/anxieties/stress can I “let go” of from my mind?
What 1 big task do I need to accomplish tomorrow and when (what time) will I complete it?
Using this format helps me get thoughts out of my head and onto paper prior to bed. I feel better and fall asleep much easier.
Journaling is one of many formats to engage your thoughts and recognize life as it’s happening.
If you’re willing to try it you might find it as valuable as I do.
Motivational Speaking
I don’t work out because I’m in a good mood.
I’m in a good mood because I work out.
When we’re in a rut, moving our bodies help the positive energy start to flow.
Move to enhance your mood.
Don’t wait for the motivation, create it.
A Beautiful Mind And Body
You can create the mind and body you want from nothing.
Do not convince yourself otherwise.
It takes patience.
It takes hard work.
It takes confidence.
It takes a will to walk the lesser-worn path.
If you’re unhappy, if you’re stuck, if you’re thinking it’s insurmountable, I promise you it’s not.
When you can lean into the fear, quiet the noise of the crowd and overcome the feeling that you’re never good enough there’s no feeling like it.
It’s pure bliss.
It doesn’t mean it won’t be hard. It’ll be so hard. But that’s why it’s worth it.
The only thing you have to lose is the ability to be the happiest you’ve ever been.
Don’t let that happen.
Don’t ever let that happen again.
Captain’s Log
Day 14,674
Promising results today but, alas, I still haven’t figured out this thing called life.
Must keep learning and growing from each experience.
More experiments to follow.
Don’t give up.
You’re close.
Lead A Horse To Water
We can lead a horse to water but we can’t make them drink. FALSE
We can share travel tips, encourage risk aversion, and offer practical guidance but we can’t lead them to the water because they are walking an entirely different path than we are.
That journey is for them to embark on.
They have to make the decision to start.
They have to be willing to adapt and change.
They have to live with the outcomes.
The decisions are all their own.
Seed Round
Ideas are everywhere. They’re in our head, a notebook, a spark of inspiration from an observation.
Think of an idea as a seed on the ground.
There are thousands of those scattered around. We walk over them as quickly as they appear in front of us and they disappear in a flash behind us.
Not all seeds get fertilized. In fact, very few do.
Without the right conditions, they have no chance of turning into a majestic Redwood.
Execution is vital to its growth.
The same goes for our ideas.
House Cleaning
It’s difficult to help others when we haven’t helped ourselves first.
We need to get our house in order.
We owe it to ourselves to do the work necessary to understand why we are feeling at our worst and what makes us energized at our best.
Sometimes it’s easier to remove the negative elements first as that opens the airways to let a breath of fresh air in.
Where do we start? We could ask ourselves a simple question, “What is giving me anxiety today?”
The exploration of that answer is a new beginning to our understanding.
We’ve found our home-base.
Now we can pave a path forward.
10-Year Old Wisdom
As a parent, I’m constantly amazed. Yes, this is a proud dad post but it’s a lesson we all can take.
Cliffs Notes: I noticed my son loving musicals and encouraged him to watch/listen more. He recently started Musical Theatre classes and he knows every word to the show Hamilton so he wanted a hat and outfit to look like Lin-Manual Miranda’s character in the broadway show.
At school, they had a “play day” to bring in a toy to play with in the class. He wanted to bring his hat and he wrote this note as a reminder.
So what, right?
Read the last line of his note.
Why not?
I didn’t know a 10-year-old could have that much perspective.
Why not?
What’s the worst that would happen?
Why can’t we do the things that make us happy and show our best selves to the world?
I smiled reading that note. Who am I kidding, I shed a tear, as well.
What can we all take from this?
Why not…
Start that hobby.
Start that business.
Ask that person out.
Show up as you are.
Forge your own path.
Believe you are good enough.
It’s a powerful question we should be asking ourselves daily.
The old saying “be the change you want to see in the world” starts with one question.
Why not?
Elementary My Dear Watson
A question I’ve pondered in recent years which has been one of the catalysts to personal growth is, “What could I be wrong about?”
If we are open to the uncomfortableness that comes with the answer it will unequivocally alter our perspective.
Like a detective, we are more aware of our surroundings and look for clues that may inform us of a deeper truth.
Ego is replaced by Humility.
The depths of our knowledge become infinite.
Remember Death
There will be a last time for everything.
The last time talking to my brother.
The last time picking up my son.
The last time seeing a sunset.
A last round of golf.
Facing mortality should give us gratitude for the opportunities in front of us.
The things we do today may end up being the last time we get to experience them.
That shouldn’t scare us.
It should energize us.
It should inspire us to go after it with vigor and excitement.
To put our full energy and focus into it.
To lean in deep and relish the moment.
Memento mori (Remember, death.)
How To Eat An Elephant
We don’t read a whole book in one sitting.
It’s done Paragraph by paragraph.
Chapter by chapter.
Word by word.
That’s how any meaningful work is completed.
Small actions compound into big results.
If you’re struggling to start, what one action has to happen to get you going forward?
Forget step #2 right now. It doesn’t matter.
What’s the first step?
Do it today!
Start building that compounding effect our future selves will be grateful for.
A Needed Break
Here’s my encouragement today.
After you read this, wherever you are…
1. Set a 5 min timer on your phone
2. Put your phone away (preferably on “Do Not Disturb” as well)
3. Sit or lay down with your eyes closed
4. Focus on your breath and let your mind wander wherever it takes you.
Everything and everybody can wait.
Take those 5 minutes to be still.
Do it for yourself.
You need this.
It’s Gonna Be Me
I’ve been bleeding the Just Get Started mission for several years.
The Podcast.
The Blogging.
The Children’s Books.
The Sales Consulting.
The Coaching calls and guidance.
The venturing out into the dark wilderness.
Almost weekly (or daily) I kick myself thinking I’m not good enough.
I shouldn’t be doing any of this.
Nobody is going to listen.
Nobody is going to care.
I’m not worthy.
And then I look in the mirror and ask myself the question I’ve asked hundreds of times.
“Why can’t it be you?”
Why can’t you be the one to help others who are struggling?
Why can’t you be the one to spread kindness to the world?
Why can’t you be the one to live a purposeful life?
Why can’t you be anything you desire to be?
The struggle is fucking real.
The fear.
The self-doubt.
The comparison bias.
The self-limiting beliefs.
The imposter syndrome.
We all have it. We all go through it. Nobody is immune to the demons lurking in our minds.
But, we press on, every day toward our “North Star” because it is bigger than any of us.
To shine goodness in the world and bring forth a new age of vulnerability and transparency that can help us bond and adapt together.
Whatever demons you’re trying to fend off just know you’re not alone.
We see you.
We hear you.
We are going through it, too.
Every time we get down on ourselves we must be willing to stand tall, face the mirror, and ask ourselves, “Why can’t it be you?”
And then look that person straight into the fucking eyes and answer with an emphatic, “It can be and it will be.”
Speed Racer
One of the benefits of youth is sheer speed, going full force into the unknown without worry or compromise. We don’t think of the consequences until we fall flat on our faces again and again.
This is how we gain wisdom.
One of the products of wisdom is understanding pacing, timing, reasoning, and risk assessment.
We may not be able to “top out” our speed as we did as kids but we’ve learned why that isn’t necessary and there are alternative angles to approach a situation from.
Where we lack speed we’ve gained wisdom.
Speed gave us the chance to explore and uncover a new world for ourselves.
Wisdom has kept us from falling into too many traps.
Both are valuable for their own purposes.
Jigsaw Puzzle
Ever hear the phrase, “They were the one that got away”?
This isn’t exactly true. If they “got away”, for one reason or another, they didn’t mesh with our life.
Like a puzzle, some pieces clearly don’t fit while others appear to until we look much closer and observe with a keen eye.
Look around at the people in your life; our tribe, our community, our circle, whatever we want to call them, are there for a reason.
We’ve chosen them and they’ve chosen us.
We fit because we both chose to make it fit.
In our own unique, weird, off-the-wall way, we fit.
There’s no need to force the pieces.
The puzzle comes together effortlessly.
Free Your Mind
What have you changed your mind on in the past year?
Growth isn’t about doubling down on our beliefs and digging our heels in but recognizing that there is a big world out there filled with new ideas and different perspectives.
It’s not that we have to believe it all but we ought to be willing to listen.
Acceptance and gratitude become the guideposts to follow.
An open mind is our catalyst to change.
Slow The F Down
Why are you going so fast?
Where are you trying to rush to?
Have you considered what you’re missing out on right now?
Look around, smell the roses, and take in the fact that you get to be in this moment.
Soon enough, it’ll pass us by.
Sparklers
One hour.
One minute.
One second.
One new idea.
One purposeful decision.
A spark that lights a thousand future flames starts with one cataclysmic moment.
We can’t agonize about a year out or five or even ten.
We need to focus on today.
On the present.
On right now.
This could be the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
If we’re willing to seize it.
F.O.M.O.
Replace “Fear of missing out” with “Joy of missing out” and a next level mindset shift happens.
We begin to choose ourselves.
Happiness flows from there.
Day Of Rememberance
On this day last year, do you remember what you were worrying about and losing sleep over?
Today’s worries will most likely be like that, eventually.
They’ll feel bigger at the moment but hardly make a dent in your memory.
Most are insignificant.
Accept that the worry will be there but be willing to let it go before it sours our mood and adds unnecessary stress to our life.
Because this too shall pass.
40 Is The New 30
When I was 30 years old I was:
- Entitled
- Complacent
- Unorganized
- Undisciplined
- Closed-minded
- In loads of debt
I’ll be 40 this month, and none of the above is true anymore.
Change doesn’t happen instantly but it’s making the commitment to change that is the catalyst to produce profound results.
If you don’t like where you are I have great news.
You are in control.
Are you willing to commit to changing it?
One Step Away
Some people slow down running toward 1st base.
Others run full speed straight through the bag.
Knowing who we are can inform us where we are starting from. It doesn’t mean we can’t change if we want to.
We’re only one decision away from changing the entire trajectory of our future.
Not a hundred decisions.
Just one.
The next one is all that matters.
Make The Attempt
Failure is just an attempt. Let’s not romanticize it anymore otherwise, we overthink trying.
We failed to talk until we didn’t.
We failed to walk until we didn’t.
We failed addition until we didn’t.
We failed to ride a bike until we didn’t.
We failed to throw a ball until we didn’t.
We’ve failed countless times so why is this next attempt any different?
We are better off because of all of it; the success, the learning, the pain, and the suffering.
Nobody is throwing a perfect game in life.
Just act like we’re playing catch in the backyard.
It’s supposed to be fun even if we make a poor attempt from time to time.
Clear And Present Happiness
Can we honestly say to ourselves, “I’m happy today?”
If we can it’s important to understand why? What is happening or has happened where we feel this moment, right now, is a moment of happiness? We can’t repeat it exactly but we can work to replicate it again and again.
The same holds true if the answer is “No”. Why aren’t we happy? What are the contributing factors to unhappiness?
Recognizing these puts us in a position to learn what isn’t serving us and navigate away from it.
Happiness is a feeling, a moment, a benchmark in a time of stress-free living.
Are we willing to do the work to understand how we can create more of this?
Just Go With It
There’s no downside to going for it.
Best case, you get the thing you went for. Worst case, it was a complete and utter train wreck.
But here’s the thing, the worst case is forgotten much quicker than the regret of not doing it.
Regret lingers. It stews. It’s like the annoying neighbor that overstays their welcome.
Putting it out into the universe is the only way to go. We can make up stories in our heads but we don’t know what happens until it happens.
We have to act and let the universe work as it does.
No promises about the result that comes out of it.
But even failing spectacularly is much better than the alternative.
Community Builder
As the 2023 CrossFit Open kicks off, I was thinking about my 5 years at CrossFitRTP and the incredible community we have there.
This quote came to mind…
“Home is when people notice when you’re not there” – Alexander Hayman
It always feels like home walking in there.
People from different walks of life come together for similar reasons.
To feel welcomed and supported.
To build a stronger mind and body.
To prove that they can do hard things.
Wishing everyone finds a place that they can call “home”.
Ultra-Marathon
Play the entire game and add it all up at the end.
This is a mantra we’d all stand to benefit from.
Too often when we think we are “behind” it knocks us off our balance and bruises our ego. We throw our hands up and say, “What’s the point? I’ll never win.”
What is “winning” anyway?
Is it the physical prize at the end or is it the incalculable growth we made by pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone and into a new dimension of learning?
Far too often we are disappointed with the perceived “L” but fail to recognize it’s priming us for something bigger and better up ahead.
All of these reps are going to pay off for us, eventually.
We may not win this leg of the race but rest assured we’ll be prepared for the next.
Don’t give up before the race is over.
Wait But Why?
I used to be the “I’ll get started on Monday” type.
I became the “just get started now” type.
That single mindset shift changed my life.
I promise it’ll change yours, too.
Throw The Change Up
If we don’t like our shirt, we change it.
If we don’t like our job, we get a new one.
If we don’t like our relationships, we end them.
If we don’t like our thoughts, we can change them, too.
We do become what we think about.
Negative thoughts create negative actions.
If we change the way we think our whole perspective, attitude, and life can shift dramatically.
Sometimes oversimplification is what we all need.
Being Human
One of the more liberating thoughts we can have is knowing that not one single human being has life figured out.
We all struggle with insecurity
We all compare ourselves to others
We all go through periods of depression
We all think we aren’t close to good enough
We know we’re going to fail
We know we’re going to fuck things up
We know we’re going to beat ourselves up
Accepting these emotions frees us up to be fully present and aware.
Willing to give it our all knowing there’s a good chance it might not work out.
The effort is all we can control.
We figure it out from there.
Exercise Discipline
It doesn’t matter your age, sex, economic status, ethnicity, GPA, IQ, or any other factor for that matter.
Discipline is a skill everyone has the opportunity to learn and utilize.
It doesn’t mean we won’t fight excuses or resistance, or never get stuck again.
Those things are inevitable.
But, discipline helps us:
Commit to change
Articulate our vision for the future.
Ignite our sheer determination and willpower.
It allows us to find focus and fulfillment where we were scattered and distracted before.
Discipline takes practice and patience to develop but it’s one of the most useful skills we’ll ever come to learn.
A New Hope
It’s hard not to be a “prisoner of the moment.”
We uncover neat experiences.
We discover new opportunities
We are wowed by new people.
Unfortunately, one of the more difficult things in life is to accept that these don’t always last.
That although we might create great memories, these moments pass by.
That shouldn’t make us sad. It should give us hope.
Hope that more will be around the next bend.
Hope that we will continue to recognize these as they present themselves.
Hope that as we grow so will the value of the experiences, opportunities, and people we encounter.
We could be sad that the moments are ending or we could be grateful that we had them at all.
We choose our path. What happens on it is sometimes out of our control.
All we can do is embrace the moments that come our way because we never know how long we have them.
The Happiness Factor
When we are growing up we have a tendency to want more.
- More toys.
- More snacks.
- More video games.
- More time playing with friends.
What is hard to understand in those formative years is that the “more” we crave adds unnecessary responsibility and stress to our lives.
Unfortunately, we carry this into adulthood.
We think we want:
- More money = Working more hours
- More “toys” = Needing to make more money to pay for them
- More status = Needing the newest and most luxurious toys to stand out
Inevitably, there comes a time when most of us realize we have it backward all along.
What we really want is:
- More time = Eliminating wasted efforts
- More freedom = Choosing the type of work that fulfills us
- More belonging = Building deeper meaningful relationships
The person with the most “toys” doesn’t win. It’s because they’ve lived a life always wanting more and were never grateful for all they had in the first place.
They were never grateful for the important things:
- More time
- More freedom
- More belonging
If we are looking to become happier these become a great place to start.
Version Control
What was the 2013 version of ourselves doing back then?
What do you think the 2033 version will be doing?
We’ve come so far.
Imagine what some focused effort and decision-making can do for us over these next 10 years.
20 years into the future, our 2013 version will come to be unrecognizable.
The Waiting Game
There is no timeline.
Stop beating yourself up if you haven’t:
- Gotten traction yet
- Gotten that promotion/raise
- Met that significant other
- Found your purpose
- Figured it all out
The journey is the fun part. If it was easy would you really want to sign up for it? It’d get boring rather quickly.
Enjoy the process of discovering yourself and creating new opportunities by doing.
When it happens it’ll happen.
Stop hurrying.
You can’t force it.
Tighten The Screws
Often times it’s not a big change that has to be made.
It’s a tweak.
A slight pivot.
A minor movement forward.
One more turn of the wrench.
Progress happens through tiny intentional iterations.
Make a small change and see how that helps.
Then maybe another after that.
Before long we’re on a new path forward.
Progress, not perfection.
That minor tweak in thinking is substantial.
Opposites Do Not Attract
This cliche needs to be put to bed.
Sure, people with different personality traits, musical tastes, hobbies, and social skills get together all the time. Many of them become happy in the long term.
When we look from the outside and think they are “opposite” it takes our focus off what matters most.
They have aligned values.
They live by their virtues.
They share a vision.
They may be interesting and intriguing and have a different lens they look at the world through. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are “opposites”.
If anything, they are more alike than they give themselves credit for.
Brave The Elements
Starting is the hardest part.
There’s no denying that.
Whether starting something brand new or beginning from the starting line again.
Starting is unknown. And that scares us.
We have to venture out into a wilderness not seen before, take big risks, and deal with the harsh emotions that come with it.
As much as it’s a daunting task, what should scare us more is the complacency that comes from sheltering in place, barricading the walls, and covering the windows.
With being okay with the status quo.
When we are afraid to start we have to imagine what the regret might feel like if we don’t.
That premonition might be all the nudge we need to kickstart us on our journey forward.
Goodbye For Now
Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever.
It might be for a season or two.
For the cosmos to align again.
To see if it’s truly meant to be.
The goodbye isn’t the hard part as much as us forgetting the person when they’re gone.
If we’ve kept them alive in our hearts we can pick back up where we left off when we see them again.
Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever if we are willing to keep the flame burning.
Time passes but everlasting love feels like it hasn’t aged at all.
Fulfillment Center
We are happier more often when we’ve found fulfillment in life.
When we have a responsibility or purpose.
When we have a grasp on things.
How do we find fulfillment?
Start with these questions…
What activities make me feel the most alive?
When I need energy I ____?
When I lose track of time hanging out, the qualities those people possess the most are ____?
When I do ____ I normally don’t feel as good about myself?
I get most excited when I do ____?
The answers to these bring us closer to understanding ourselves.
Closer to accepting reality.
Closer to finding clarity.
Self-awareness becomes the accountability mirror we need to be staring into each day.
Class In Session
I’ve been fired.
I’ve been bullied.
I’ve been injured.
I’ve been rejected.
I’ve been divorced.
I’ve been cheated on.
I’ve been broken up with.
I’ve been made a laughing stock.
I’ve been cast aside countless times.
I’ve been physically and verbally abused.
But most of all I’ve been resilient.
Life is not about how we handle the best moments but our attitude when we encounter the worst.
Pain becomes life’s greatest teacher we just never know when class will be in session.
Free Lunch
Things that are free are mostly taken for granted.
Our mind.
Our body.
Our relationships.
We only realize how important they are when they get taken from us.
Until we can no longer have them in the same capacity as before.
Sometimes the most priceless things in the world don’t cost a thing.
Started From The Bottom
Starting back from the beginning is one of the hardest parts of life.
We question whether the investment was worth it.
But are we really starting over? Is this the same starting point?
We fail by not acknowledging all of the work we put in.
The mental and physical energy.
The struggle and sacrifice.
The commitment.
The learning.
Whether we succeed or fail is only how we define those terms.
What is a success, really, but an opportunity to pursue a fulfilling life?
Then why is trying a failure?
We have to see what’s there.
We have to see what can be accomplished.
We have to see what’s even worth it.
We’ve tried countless times in life and have failed spectacularly.
It doesn’t mean it hurts any less but it was necessary for our growth.
We should pick ourselves back up. Dust off. And get back to the next attempt.
Because we should consider ourselves lucky to even have one.
Growth Metrics
Life is not always kind but walking through the darkest alleys lets us know how bright we can shine.
Knowing how much pain we can endure and still push forward, stronger.
Embrace the pain and find a level of gratitude for all it is teaching us.
Our growth is vastly accelerated by having to go straight through it.
Stranger Danger
A hard part about raising an adolescent child is their transition from thinking the world is always kind to realize there is a dark side to life.
It’s a truth we know is coming, as parents, but one that is difficult to accept. We have two paths.
Avoid the conversation and suppress their curiosity or lean into the discussions with warmth and honesty.
It might be better to prepare them for a realistic future and provide the tools to handle those situations versus overprotecting them where they never learn how to protect themselves.
It’s a fine balance but one that we have to be willing to take.
It’s better than the alternative; them wandering the wilderness alone without any knowledge of what to do if danger appears.
The Success Trap
We have a hard time getting off the starting line because we haven’t defined what success looks like.
“Success” is often defined in the mainstream as lots of money, a big business, luxury toys, enormous houses, or exotic trips. People who are deemed “successful” may have fame or notoriety.
But is that your definition?
It might be staying healthy and fit.
It might be walking your kids to school.
It might be having the ability to help others.
It might be freedom to live where you want.
It may be doing things that give you ultimate joy.
Success can be a lot of different things.
When we are working off of someone else’s definition we become stuck.
Create your own and notice how your decisions and focus change.
You now have a clearer direction to move in.
It becomes much easier to start that way.
New Year New Me
This New Year let’s not say “New Year, New Me” because change doesn’t happen like that.
Change happens by moving intentionally and incrementally forward.
It’s building one good habit after another.
It’s becoming self-aware and accepting of ourselves.
It’s giving ourselves space and expanding our worldview.
What might be better to say is, “I’m going to work continually to be disciplined this year in the areas that I’ve uncovered aren’t serving me anymore and lean into better decisions, perspectives and relationships. I won’t always get it right but I’m going to learn and keep improving.”
It’s important to start and let the changes come progressively over time.
This way, when the next year rolls around you can confidently say “New Year, New Me”
Mental Reset
Don’t beat yourself up if you need a long break.
It’s good to take a whole mental health day to reset (maybe a few).
Stepping away provides a perspective we wouldn’t get if we were always on the go.
Those moments of stillness bring us the clarity we need.
They bring balance back to our lives.
They reenergize us and help us move forward again.
It’s a practice we should institute often.
Do Or Do Not
Once we try it we can’t untry it
Once we see it we can’t unsee it
Once we meet them we can’t unmeet them
Instead of regretting not taking the chance, we can appreciate our attempt.
We can never predict the outcome.
We can only connect the dots looking back and see if it worked out.
So, I urge you to try.
In the end, it might be painful but the lessons learned become incalculable.
Priority Shipping
We have to stop saying we don’t have the time.
We have time.
We don’t have it as a priority.
If we did, we’d accomplish it. It’d be the first thing we check off the list.
Often, the thing that is most important to us might also scare the hell out of us. So, we find reasons not to do it. We push it aside. We say we’ll get it done tomorrow.
Most of the other stuff on our list isn’t of high priority. It can wait.
We have to stop putting our dreams on hold for another day. For the time when we feel ready. We’ll never be fully ready. We’ll always have doubts. We’ll always question the path forward.
We have to start anyways.
Put all of the other shit aside for a moment.
Accept what is truly important and spend time on that, every day, even if it is just for a few moments. Advancing it forward, at a slow speed, adds up over a long time horizon.
But we never move off the starting line if we don’t actually start.
The Best Part Of Waking Up
What is it about a warm cup of coffee that makes us feel good?
Maybe it’s the taste first thing in the morning.
It definitely hits the spot.
But how much it is about the memories? Whether we drink it daily or periodically, there’s always something about that first sip.
It’s never rushed. There’s a moment of stillness. A heightened level of joy as it hits us.
It’s an instant flashback to hundreds of moments; an after-dinner coffee with friends, a fresh cup while standing on the first tee, or overlooking the mountains on a crisp morning.
That first sip brings us back. Back to the simple things in life. Back to times when we were present.
At that moment. When nothing else mattered.
Maybe it’s just a sip of coffee. Who knows.
Finding that peace, joy, and stillness, throughout our day, however, we can get it, should be something we all strive for more often.
Balance The Books
In business school, we are taught about balance sheets and formulas and all of the different ways to help determine the health of our business and our future outlook. Simple things like Assets (things we own) and Liabilities (things we owe). Those are the basics of balancing the books.
If we were to use this metaphorically for our overall health, would we be confident we’d be in a position to succeed?
If the assets were actions we took to fuel our body and mind, are we putting enough into each day to own the outcome?
If liabilities are things detrimental to our health, are we moderating or removing these altogether?
We can make the excuse that we are busy and life is going a mile a minute. It does, at times, appear this way. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make calculated decisions for our long-term health.
The choices we make today impact us months and years down the road. Small wins, each day can lead us to a better future.
We have a choice whether we are creating assets in our lives or adding more liability to our future selves.
The choice is clear but the work can be hard.
Start easy, make it achievable to accomplish, and start today.
Our future selves are banking on a brighter tomorrow.
Peaceful Protest
Where do we find peace?
Is it in the early mornings before the world wakes up?
Is it when we can find any quiet place?
Is it on a walk around the block?
Is it in deep conversations?
Peace means stillness. It means serenity. It means our minds feel balanced and free.
When we become frustrated we must stop and ask ourselves how we got here.
How have we given this time to everyone else and not ourselves?
Our lives can be very chaotic and we must find these pockets of peace.
We need that time. It’s precious. It balances us.
We schedule out many other seemingly insignificant tasks and meetings, surely we can put something on the calendar for our mental health?
Call it our “Personal Peace Practice” if we must and plan time every day.
It’s mandatory. It can’t be missed.
Soon it’ll start to be the one we look forward to over all others.
Fountain Of Youth
I often hear older folks say “I wish I was ___ years old again”
What they fail to realize is that eating nutritious food, working out, and sleep are levers that can be pulled to slow or even reverse aging.
They are equivalent to the “fountain of youth”.
They make us feel young and vibrant.
It’s not that we should wish we were younger again but that we are much wiser with our decisions now.
These types of decisions are always in our control.
Less But Better
Today I deleted over 30 apps from my phone.
They weren’t serving me anymore.
They were weighing me down.
A lot of life is like that.
We sign up for things because we’re scared to say no, we hoard things because we think we might need them, and we bottle up old feelings thinking they are benefitting us.
In Greg McKeown’s bestselling book, “Essentialism” his main thesis is this…
“Less but better”
How can we all apply this in our lives?
Eliminate things that are unnecessary and prioritize the things that bring us fulfillment.
Hang out with fewer people but have deeper relationships with them.
Commit to fewer projects but become a master at those few.
Focus on fewer thoughts but expand on the most worthy ones.
Priority is not supposed to be plural.
We need to stop overwhelming our plates with more than we can handle.
Try “less but better” and see how we do.
It might be one of the most freeing things we’ve ever given priority to.
Set Us Free
Sometimes life can be confusing and the easiest thing for us to do is make up a story in our head of what has happened.
But, we have to catch ourselves.
We can’t assume we know. We can’t assume we have the answers. We can’t cloud our minds with our imagined stories of what may have occurred.
We can only control our reaction to the situation, any situation, and keep a calm head about it. It doesn’t mean we can’t be nervous, anxious, or confused.
Those are real human emotions and we must recognize these feelings are important to have but we should counterbalance them by posing a simple question.
“Is it true?”
If we can be honest with ourselves we may find that the truth doesn’t align with how we are perceiving the situation. Our stories become fantasies and make-believe,
It opens us up to letting those feelings subside and no longer control us.
In this case, the truth can set us free.
Cringe-worthy
I was nervous and excited to hit “launch” on Episode 1 of the Just Get Started Podcast 5 years ago in 2017.
Today, I cringe a bit listening back to that first episode.
So many things I’ve learned in those 5 years.
So many accomplishments.
So many mistakes.
So much growth.
If we don’t cringe at our past work it probably means we haven’t progressed that far ahead.
But after we cringe, be grateful we took the chance on ourselves when we might not have been fully convinced this was the right choice.
There we so many unknowns but we started anyways.
We should be proud that we have the opportunity to cringe.
It means we’ve become a better version of our past selves.
We’ve scaled another summit we never knew was ahead.
Bravo!
Now, keep going!
Fairytale Ending
We worry because we care. That’s human.
We might care about what might happen or about someone’s well-being or a myriad of other things.
Worrying is the act of suffering now for a future state we are unsure of.
It is based on stories we are making up in our heads.
It’s almost never helpful because worrying tends to trend toward the negative. Rarely are we making these stories up with a fairy tale ending?
We think it’s helpful to play the various simulations in our head, but more times than not, the stories don’t end up exactly as we planned them anyways. They almost never do.
We never truly know what happens until it happens.
We may not be able to fully stop our worrying but we might consider combating the negativity by creating a more positive outcome of that future state.
Something that moves away from doom and gloom and becomes more sunshine and rainbows.
Because if we’re going to fabricate a story of something that hasn’t happened yet wouldn’t it be better to give it a more optimistic plot twist?
That Thing You Do
It’s only about doing.
Thinking is important.
Planning has relevance.
Ideation is helpful.
The “doing” becomes what matters the most.
Without the doing, nothing else matters.
Just start and keep iterating as you go.
Mr. Irrelevant
Growing up, I was never the first pick. Rarely even the 2nd or 3rd.
Luckily, I was just tall enough to avoid being the last person picked.
I was average. I blended into the background. I didn’t look the part.
But, when you got me on your team you knew what you had very quickly.
I loved to play. I gave an “all-heart” effort. I didn’t mind doing the dirty work and bumping elbows. I’d dive for the loose ball. Grit and determination were my strengths.
Maybe I got lucky growing up with an older brother that made things hard on me. Who was always tough to beat because he was bigger and stronger. Someone I never expected to give me an inch, and he never did.
I didn’t know it back then but the qualities I gained through childhood have served me well.
It doesn’t always matter what you look like from the outside or how you might “stack up” against those beside you.
It’s what happens when you get your chance to get in the game.
How do you perform?
First In Line
We all experience the first-day jitters.
First time speaking in front of an audience.
First day of a new school year.
First time getting in the game.
First date.
The first day of anything new can make us feel all the things.
We’re not different than anyone else. We’re human.
Embrace being nervous and get excited about what could come of it.
Nothing great happens until we experience it firsthand.
Ageless Wonder
Age is just a number. It’s meaningless.
If we believe that then we can push ourselves to the limits every day.
We can expand our minds.
We can become who we’ve always wanted to be.
It takes hard work, determination, grit, and focus.
It’s not a number on the calendar that is stopping us.
It’s ourselves.
But we can push through, we can achieve, and we can thrive.
We just have to get started.
And show up each day.
Age doesn’t determine that.
We do.
Flower Power
Take a seed out of any food we are eating and place it on the table.
Don’t do anything to it and let it sit there for a few weeks.
Do you know what happens?
Almost nothing.
Do you know why? Because there needs to be some action to create change. There needs to be some focused effort for growth to take place.
That seed is a metaphor for every idea we have in our heads that we want to pursue but we don’t.
It just sits there. It toys with us. It slowly dies each day.
But what happens when put the tiniest amount of effort toward that seed?
If it’s laid inside a wet paper towel it’ll start to sprout.
If it’s buried in some soil it could plant some roots.
If it’s placed outside in the sun it might start flowering soon enough…Just like our ideas.
They just need a little love. A little attention. A little light to be shined upon them.
And then, in time, they can become something we never could quite fathom.
They blossom into the most beautiful thing we’ve ever seen.
It’s real. It’s spectacular. It’s ours.
We’ve created it and it should give us the courage to create again.
One small step at a time is all it takes.
But we have to take the first step otherwise we might be wondering if this thing will ever turn into anything special.
It will.
We just have to give it a chance to grow.
We’re Talking About Practice
I want to talk about practice. Not the game, not the game we all love but practice.
Practice can be anything preparing us for the “game”. Thinking, reading, studying, and testing.
Getting uncomfortable.
Trying to imagine situations and getting ahead of them.
In practice, we break down a specific area and piece them together. We work on one aspect hard and then move on to another. There are also times when practice becomes a simulation of sorts. A run-through of an event that hasn’t taken place.
In the game, far too often we “wing it”. We show up unprepared for the conversations or the action we need to perform.
We think that just being there is enough. It’s not.
Being thoughtful about where we want to go can be the guidebook to prepare us for that journey. It can influence the things we do leading up to and during any situation.
But we have to be willing to put in the work. That’s how we make things feel fluid and easy. It’s all the hours of preparation prior to the game.
That preparation sets us up for success. That leads us to make better decisions at the moment.
Because we’ve already been preparing long before the moment arrived.
Balance Beam
Sometimes agendas and itineraries are important.
Structured, punctual, and organized. Knowing where we are headed and what we are doing. It becomes necessary in our life, at times.
But so does discovery and veering off course. So does spontaneously making a decision and living with the consequences. We can’t script every aspect of our lives.
Routines and calendars and schedules can box us into a corner. They can limit us to explore the far edges we haven’t considered. We can become frustrated.
We haven’t figured it all out yet. We still have room left to explore.
Let’s not give up on reaching outside our comfort zones.
That’s how innovation happens.
It’s where new ideas form.
It’s where we find new life.
Sometimes it’s necessary to calculate every minute but it can be just as important to wander off the path with no sense of time or direction, as well.
We need to give ourselves both.
It’ll give balance to our complex and uncertain lives.
Combining Resources
The best relationships in life have one clear thing in common.
There is a complimentary toolset that each person brings on the journey.
No one person is better than the other. Sometimes the tools one person has will be used and other times it’ll be the opposite. Oftentimes, the tools will work together to create something useful and generous.
If we think about relationships this way and work to keep them balanced then we’ll be better served as we deepen the connection and forge ahead.
We can certainly take our toolset and go along the journey alone but that doesn’t appear to make for the most fun and exciting adventure.
Those moments need to be shared and we should strive often to seek out those people to share them with.
It’ll make the trip that much more enjoyable.
Continuous Effort
We should never beat ourselves up for trying. That becomes futile.
We should be kind and generous to ourselves.
We should be okay will failing spectacularly.
We should be accepting of our faults.
Then, we should start again.
Passion Bucket
If you’ve said to yourself “I don’t know what I’m passionate about” then you’re in luck.
You should consider yourself grateful.
Because now you get to explore. You get to tinker. You get to try things. You get to figure it out.
You start to rule out things you don’t like and keep putting energy into the stuff you do.
When we don’t have anything we are truly passionate about it gives us agency to lean into new experiences and try to discover what we may like.
It all comes down to a choice. A choice to choose a small amount of discomfort in order to discover new things.
Things we might become insanely passionate about.
Don’t give up because you haven’t found your passion yet.
That’s the exciting part of the journey.
Keep searching.
Sleeping Giant
Growth mostly happens when we’re alone, in the darkness of our minds, and the depths of our thoughts.
It’s in the quiet moments when no one is around that we are growing stronger and more confident with who we are.
Being alone can be a blessing. It’s something we should strive for in the busyness of life.
The quiet moments open our minds to explore where we’ve been and where we are now.
It’s in those moments that we can believe in our mission and trust in the effort we are putting forth.
Seek out the quiet.
It’ll shine a light in the darkness and sound the alarm on the areas we still need to work on.
That’s the only way we can truly expect to know if we’ve grown or not.
Early Bird Special
If you haven’t gotten to wake up early recently, before the sun rises and the bustle of the day begins, then I’d encourage it.
It’s serene. It’s quiet. There is a peacefulness about it.
We rarely get to be with our thoughts or watch the beauty and awe of a sunrise. By letting the energy flow into us we can calmly accept the day ahead with gratitude.
The more we sit and think, the more we discover ourselves and what we want out of life.
Take some time this week to take in the sunrise and be calm.
Be still.
That energy will carry with you throughout your entire day.
The Greatest Gift
We’ve all had more “failed” relationships than we can count.
Friendships are no longer intact.
Business partnerships split.
Divorce and Break-ups.
It’s happened throughout our lives and emotionally those take a toll on us.
But, there is a silver lining to all of it.
If we are willing we can gain a positive perspective and take away gifts.
Although those relationships have soured, the gifts that have come out of them might make a world of difference in our future.
We are more thoughtful about what we want and don’t settle for mediocrity any longer.
We are more decisive about our actions and don’t waiver.
We are more grateful for the opportunities that arose out of the ashes.
I’ve had many gifts that have come out of relationships that haven’t worked out.
The greatest of all is my son.
Party of Two
What is it that makes us feel so sure about some people while others are hard to figure out and they make it difficult for us to bring them into our circle?
It’s about showing up.
It’s showing up with energy and attention.
It’s showing up when they know we need them.
It’s showing up when it’s not convenient.
It’s showing up with acceptance and an open mind.
It’s sometimes showing up and being silent.
It’s trust and respect at its core.
It’s understanding that it’s mutually beneficial for both parties.
It can’t always be one-sided.
A Moment In Time
How incredible is life?
In an instant, without any warning, our life can be altered in the most magical way by the most magical people.
People that, just a few seconds ago, didn’t exist to us. We had no idea who they were.
But, when we felt their energy, we knew it was something special.
We knew our life had changed forever.
We never know when it might happen but it’s incredible when it does.
We should all be grateful for those moments and look out for them more often.
Because they end up shaping the rest of our lives in a profound way.
Parental Intervention
Kids need some intervention but what would happen if we just got out of the way most of the time?
I think they’d do just fine.
We are not perfect and we have so many limiting beliefs or blindspots that we potentially start exposing them to those. It can become detrimental.
Let them figure it out themselves. Let them problem solve. Let them self-regulate.
Let them be themselves.
We can be a coach and talk through what they are going through but we don’t necessarily have to give them all of the answers. We don’t have to tell them exactly what to do.
Otherwise, we can’t blame them when they are older and don’t turn out to be upstanding, kind, and generous adults.
They were just doing what they were told.
Stepping Stones
It’s funny when we reflect back on our past and almost don’t recognize the person we used to be.
It should give us confidence that whatever we are going through today can be overcome and used as a stepping stone to a better future.
Embrace the suck, it won’t always be this way.
Conquering Fools
There comes a point where all of us have to make a choice in life.
Do we choose to keep searching for “better”, for a perceived perfect, or do we make a decision to be happy with what we have in front of us?
That’s a choice that is hard for many to make because society always talks about striving for more and better. To keep improving, advancing, and conquering.
What is often missed is that we can conquer as a team and still advance toward a pursuit of better, if we’d like.
We don’t have to do it alone.
Building a life with someone is a journey in itself. There will be highs and lows, constantly, but there will also be support, trust, and respect.
We will be able to communicate and game-plan together. We can make each other better.
So, as we nitpick every nuance and every “red flag” and decide which life path we should choose, remember this…Life is to be lived. It shouldn’t be perfect.
We aren’t perfect. And neither is anyone else.
But together, we can become the best versions of ourselves. We can raise the level of our skills together.
We can have someone volley the ball back to us and keep us on our toes, moving and growing.
That appears like a much better alternative than hitting the perfect shot with no one on the other side returning serve.
I know which game I’d rather play.
Smells Like Potential
Potential – The inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or future success.
When we were told as kids, “You have potential”, it meant that we had a lot of opportunities to grow into something more than we were at that time.
However, I wish we interpreted it as the ability to step outside of the box we were in, shake it up a bit, turn it upside down, and then see what happens. I wish we were told that we control our “potential” by prodding and poking our belief systems.
We develop beliefs about all types of things from the time we are young but if we are not careful we start to become those beliefs, even if they are peppered with unfounded information and half-truths.
We have to battle-test our own beliefs and make sure they are not claims we’ve just gone with because they’ve been with us for so long. Because they feel comfortable and make sense to us.
We have to have the courage to at least try. Otherwise, we’ll only be able to stretch as far as those beliefs allow us to go.
We thought differently back then. We observed differently. Our environment was different.
So why hang on to the old belief systems?
We have the potential to change our beliefs if we give ourselves the opportunity to get outside that box that society likes to put us in.
The one that we have kindly accepted all of these years without question.
Homeward Bound
Just because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re wrong.
Chances are as we are trying to live our best life we’ll be exploring new ideas and it may waiver from what we’re known for.
Keep going.
We are always going to be misunderstood early on as we adapt and change. We’ll be questioned and judged. We’ll be ridiculed.
But we’ll attract the right kind of energy from the right kind of people.
Our being different will be seen as a special gift.
We’ll be welcomed and supported.
We’ll find our home again.
Tidy Up Our Room
Have you ever looked at a 10-year olds room? Do you remember yours at that age?
It’s messy. It’s sloppy. It’s disorganized. It can be disgusting.
Because they are 10. They have bigger priorities than keeping their room tidy.
As we age, we can become very buttoned up. We make sure we are clean and orderly. We want to look the part to the world. Heck, some of us even clean their house prior to a cleaning company coming in to do it.
To the outside world, we have it all together.
But, inside we can be messy, sloppy, and disorganized. We can be dealing with a lot of things that we are afraid to share with the world. We can be making decisions that are leading us down the wrong path.
We have to pause and reflect.
Why are we neglecting ourselves in order to be perceived a certain way?
Why are we unwilling to realize we have some shit going on that we have to deal with?
When are we going to realize we have to clean up our room?
We may have taken it for granted in the past but now it must become our #1 priority.
Secret Ingredient
There are many ingredients that go into building a foundation for a happy life.
One of those must be living in the now. Living in the present. Not worrying about moments past or moments promised.
It’s all about now.
What are we doing to squeeze every ounce out of this moment?
I Woke Up Like This
If we wake up every day trying to do our best the hard work pays off eventually.
We never know when it’s going to click but we keep at it.
Day by day.
Minute by minute.
Second by second.
Progress is made.
We’ve moved another step forward.
We’re closer to where we want to be.
If that doesn’t bring us happiness I’m not sure what will.
Dynasty
The most cherished sports dynasties in the world are coveted because of a long run of winning outwardly.
But it’s the things that nobody talks about that makes them a dynasty.
Putting in the reps on the practice field, mostly on the fundamentals.
Supporting each other when players had an off night.
Trusting them when the game is on the line.
Never talking trash about their teammates.
Leaving them alone when they need it.
Being their biggest cheerleader.
Being a shoulder to cry on.
Relationships are like sports dynasties, in a way. The great ones have a long track record of “winning” because they are built on the foundation of trust, respect, support, and communication.
It’s not about perfection.
It’s about showing up time after time.
Together.
As a team.
Moving The Needle
One of the hardest things I’ve had to do as a parent is let my son fail.
He’s extremely passionate when he puts his mind to something but can get frustrated rather quickly when he doesn’t “get it”.
That’s when the instinct to step in and help bubbles up.
But I stop myself. I have to let him struggle. He has to do it on his own.
It’s the only way he’s going to realize that pouting, arguing, or complaining doesn’t move the needle.
It’s through focused practice that does.
It’s a lesson for me as much as it is for him.
We all struggle but it’s with patience and perseverance that we can work through the hard parts and come out the other side more confident and resilient.
We become stronger because of it.
A Moment Like This
At the moment, we feel like this is going to last forever.
We’ll have more opportunities, like this one, to do it again.
Things end far too abruptly but the worst pain is the slow-burning kind.
The ones where we could’ve invested more time but took it all for granted.
Those are the ones that hurt the most.
We may not be able to control the abrupt changes life offers but we have to recognize the ones that are coming up in the distance.
Be grateful for the opportunities when they are in your possession and recognize that each day is one less you’ll be able to do this.
They are precious reminders of the changing tides of life.
Squeeze The Creative Juices
When creativity flows one of the worst things we can do is suppress it.
We can’t be certain that the idea or flow of consciousness will ever come again.
We must embrace it head-on.
Write it down.
Start building.
Give yourself a start.
It won’t be complete today but we’ve seeded an idea that was stuck inside and wanted to be released.
It’s now out of our heads.
It’s become real.
It’s time to act on it.
Pavlov’s Dog
We all know the Pavlov Dog experiment.
Ring the bell. A treat appears.
Ring the bell. A treat appears.
Ring the bell. A treat appears.
The dog is expecting the treat after the next bell rings.
It’s conditioned to. Just like we are.
When we are mistreated, abused, disrespected or discarded we start to form patterns in our brain that try to connect the dots with every situation we encounter.
We try to find similarities to prove it’s the same.
Our default is to think that it’s going to transpire again.
We have been conditioned for it.
This is where we have an opportunity for growth.
We can have a pattern interrupt.
We can shift our thinking.
Just because the old way didn’t serve us doesn’t mean it’ll always be this way.
Let’s outthink the dog. Let’s not be ready to pounce once we hear the bell.
With a new mindset our treat can become the thing we’ve always wanted.
But only if we are open to receiving it.
Peak Of Good Living
Life is full of peaks and valleys.
If you never have days that feel off then how would you know what you need to work on?
The peaks are always memorable because it’s the valleys that make them stand out.
Embrace the bad days.
They make us who we are.
Lifetime Engagement
At 15, I was thinking in days.
At 25, I was thinking in years.
By 35, I was thinking in decades.
I’ve never felt more present each day because of that mindset change.
Discover a purpose and you can live it for the rest of your life.
Centenarian Club
When I asked my 100-year-old great-uncle what has been the most important part of his life it all came down to relationships.
His relationship with his parents
His relationship with his sisters
His relationship with his wife
His relationship with his friends
It was his relationships that made for a fulfilling and happy life.
Sometimes they last for a day.
Sometimes they last for a season.
Sometimes they last for a lifetime.
But, more than anything they make a lasting imprint on our lives.
We can all take something from that reflection.
Starter Jacket
Let’s acknowledge all of the “Starters” and not just the Entrepreneurs.
A lot of things posted on social media categorize the people “doing things” only as entrepreneurs.
That’s a small minority.
Here’s to all of the people who recently:
- Started that garden
- Dedicated time to reading
- Added a walking meeting
- Asked out a person they liked
- Put healthier options in their shopping cart
- Pondered what was giving them anxiety
- Started to learn an instrument
- Put in time on an idea they had
If you’re starting something then I want to give you a big virtual high five.
You’ve crested a hill many are unwilling to climb.
Keep up the great work and keep going!
Fresh Start
Nothing happens until you start.
No experience.
No learning.
No failure.
No nothing.
If we keep it up in our heads or push it aside for one more day it only eats at us like a dead carcass rotting in the road.
Slowly and painfully until we hate ourselves for it.
Regret creeps in and it adds stress to our lives.
We have to do ourselves a favor and start.
It doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect.
It just has to be what we want to do.
Maintenance Schedule
There’s a reason we call consistent maintenance on our vehicles “routine” or “preventive”. It’s so that we don’t go without checking in and understanding where it needs some work before it breaks down completely.
How honest are we with ourselves about our own “routine maintenance”?
Do we prioritize this at all?
If:
- We are scattered each day with no consistent schedule
- We prioritize others before prioritizing ourselves
- Are always feeling like we are behind
- Are never satisfied with the results.
Then it might be time for a check-in.
Asking ourselves questions like:
- Why are we not holding ourselves accountable for specific scheduling of activity, sleep, etc?
- Why are we unwilling to give ourselves time before we let others control it?
- Why does this always get chopped in favor of other “priorities”?
- Why do we do so much and feel it’s not enough?
- Are most of these tasks even important to us?
We have to prioritize the “check-in” and it can’t be once a year like our annual physical.
It needs to be constant. It needs to become routine.
Otherwise, we have gotten so out of whack that we aren’t sure where to begin.
Start now.
Get ahead of it.
Make it a routine practice.
We’ll prevent a complete breakdown and save ourselves a lot of heartache in the process.
Constructing Fear
Fear creates walls around us.
Walls where we hope, by constructing them, we don’t get harmed by perceived threats.
For added measure, fear puts a roof overtop us to shelter from any potential future storm. There are no windows or doors. We fortified the fortress.
Better not even walk outside, there is some probability it’ll rain at some point.
Fear limits us. We are confined by these walls. We think they are keeping us safe but they are actually stifling our growth.
We need to spread our wings. We need to be free.
It doesn’t mean we have to sprint out of the house and frolic in unchartered land. It just means we need to inch ourselves forward, create an opening in the foundation, and peak out.
There are many ways to deal with fear. The first is to understand that it’s all made up in our own heads.
It’s a fictional story.
It’s an imaginary friend.
Try just one small thing today to lean into fear and then ask yourself “Did this really cause me any harm?”
The answer may surprise you.
It may give you the confidence to try it again tomorrow.
Who knows, you might be playing outside your comfort zone in no time at all.
Just Do It
Nothing that is going to be worth it, in the long run, will be easy to start today.
So if you’re wondering if should you do it or not, the answer is an emphatic YES!
Because here’s the thing, what’s the worse that could happen?
Most likely it will end up less painful than the regret you’ll feel from not making the attempt.
A Chat With An Old Friend
I had a surreal experience recently.
It’s something I’ll plan on doing more often.
I closed my eyes for my meditation practice but his time, instead of breath work and centering myself, I tried something different.
I went back to a memory of myself as a teenager and I pulled out a vision of a room in my house during that time of my life. It was an addition we added to the house. There was a couch up against the wall I used to sit on often. I honed in on that spot.
Then, it got a bit weird.
I sat with him. Well, him being me. Although a much younger version.
My current self sitting across from my teenage self.
That young, nieve, scared, confused young man looking back at me.
And we talked.
I told him being scared means you care. It means you believe in what you are doing but haven’t mustered up the courage to act.
I told him that the bridge you have to cross to gain courage is a leap of faith. It’s where confidence builds and strength comes from.
I told him that even at my age, you won’t have all the answers and in fact, many more questions.
We talked about a lot of things.
He even questioned me.
It was sobering.
It made me realize I still have work to do.
Self-reflection is one of the most generous actions we can take for ourselves. We turn inward to learn where we’ve come from and it helps us build the foundation for a better tomorrow.
You may not go deep into your past and talk to your younger self but sitting for a few minutes each day with your eyes closed will help you grow to appreciate the moment.
Give yourself that time to reflect as it’ll compound into something unimaginable.
Negotiation Tactics
The difference between kids and adults is that kids almost exclusively do things that are either fun, challenging, or both. They don’t waste time on the things that they don’t enjoy. They don’t have the patience for it.
Adults are quite the opposite. Most days we spend doing things we don’t enjoy. We “suck it up” and put in a hard day’s work. We curse our jobs and want to find things that bring us more fun and excitement.
There’s a lesson in there.
Kids don’t negotiate with themselves. Adults almost always do.
Want to enjoy life more? Want to have more fun? Want to discover happiness at a higher rate?
Remove things that aren’t serving you.
Do what you say you’re going to do.
Hold yourself accountable.
When you stop negotiating with yourself a clearer direction follows.
Magic Show
Don’t fall for the misdirection, the rabbit being pulled out of the hat, the flash mob.
We are often blinded by the “vocal minority” and the “dog and pony show” that is going on.
It dominates the narrative but we can’t fall for the trap of getting sucked into it.
Be skeptical. Be curious. Ask questions.
Are we being fed the truth or is it only partially true?
Seek out the truth yourself.
Don’t get lazy.
Go deeper.
It takes courage to question the things that are ingrained in us but it is one of the important parts of growth.
If we can question our own beliefs then what else can we question? What else is appearing to be the truth that may end up not being correct at all?
Are we going to believe the rabbit magically appeared in the hat or is there another side of the story that we would be willing to consider?
Starter Kit
Nothing happens until we start.
No experience.
No learning.
No failure.
No nothing.
If we keep it up in our heads or push it aside for one more day it only eats at us like a dead carcass rotting in the road.
Slowly and painfully until we hate ourselves for it.
Regret creeps in and it adds stress to our lives.
We have to do ourselves a favor and start.
It doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect.
It just has to be what we want to do.
Turn That Frown Upside Down
Grab a pen and paper or open your Notes app on your phone and write down the 5 things that are bothering you the most right now in your life. Whatever is taking up space in your head and troubling you.
There are no wrong answers.
Give yourself a second to write these things down. Their writing of them is important as it makes them become more real.
Now that you have your five, I’d like you to rephrase all of them into a statement that resembles something more positive, “glass half full”, and optimistic.
For instance, if one of your complaints was…
My job is so stressful and I feel like I can never catch up at all. The work keeps piling up.
Maybe rewriting it to be positive looks something like this…
With the job being so stressful lately it’s helping me prioritize the things in my life that are the most important to me and I want to work toward doing those more often.
I’m making up a random example but the point is that a positive mindset always wins. I love the quote by Earl Nightingale which says, “We become what we think about.” If we are thinking negatively, complaining often, and always upset then that’s how we will perceive the world. We’ll be frustrated, closed off from conversations, and be looking at everything from a “glass half empty” perspective.
However, if we can use what is bothering us into positive momentum forward then we can create a brand new perspective on life. One that is filled with gratitude and hope. One with a more opportunistic view of each situation we are in.
Change is a long, tedious process, and getting to the starting line to change for the better is hard enough. We must recognize that our minds control our actions and our actions determine what direction we move in.
If our mind isn’t right then our actions are going to suffer.
The first step in doing that is creating a new narrative on our life. A new storyline. One with hope and optimism instead of doom and gloom.
Find the courage to write these thoughts down and hold yourself accountable to changing the tone and attitude of the message and you’ll start to change your mindset for the better.
You’ll become what you think about.
Rocky
Today I:
- Questioned myself (many times)
- Compared myself to others
- Felt like an Imposter
- Had a pity party
- Procrastinated
- Was impatient
- Got Rejected
- Complained
And that was all before dinner.
Each day is like a right hook from Ivan Drago.
We need to take the punches like Rocky.
Remember, “It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
We are where we are today because we stood in the ring and took a beating, mostly from ourselves.
We may have gotten knocked down but we rose back up from the mat and kept fighting.
We have to believe we have the strength to overcome any new obstacle standing in our way.
We have enough battle scars to prove it.
Purpose Driven Life
I imagine there we people in 1823 writing down their thoughts, their fears, and their desires for a better world. They were trying to craft new inventions and believing that they could make a greater impact.
They pushed forward.
They tinkered and failed.
They wanted better for themselves
They wanted a better world for their children.
But why?
Why do any of us strive to do anything more than sit around and let life pass by?
It comes down to purpose. It gives the great days momentum and the bad ones hope for a better tomorrow.
Purpose can be anything. It doesn’t have to be grandiose. It doesn’t have to be landing on Mars. It just has to be real to each of us.
What do we feel at our core?
What do we believe the world should look like?
Where can we make an impact?
That’s our purpose.
If you’ve “found it” then you know. If you haven’t then you aren’t that far behind.
You just have to start looking, trying, testing and tasting. You have to be willing to trust your instincts and respect what your thoughts are guiding you toward.
In time, it’ll click. Something inside you that gives you that focus you haven’t witnessed before. That fire to want to do more. The willingness to step out of the warm blanket of comfort and be naked to the world.
It makes us alive, again and again, as we dig deeper and learn more. We may not be understood by others around us but we understand ourselves more than we ever have before.
That’s what we should all strive for.
That’s what makes life worth living.
That’s the purpose.
Journal To The Center Of Our Soul
Some people don’t like journaling. It takes time, effort, and the willingness to bring our deepest thoughts into the world.
It can be scary.
But I’ll encourage you to try it.
Why?
It helps us stay present.
It slows down our minds.
It gives us an opportunity to reflect.
“Therapy” can be a variety of things. Writing has been the best therapy for me.
It may not end up being your jam but giving it a chance might open up your mind to a new way of thinking and help you through the stresses and worries of life.
If you’re open to it, here’s what I do. Borrow what you like, change what you don’t.
I journal prior to bed for 5-10 minutes and ask myself 4 questions.
What am I grateful for today and Why?
What was the biggest lesson I learned today?
What thoughts/anxieties/stress can I “let go” of from my mind?
What 1 big task do I need to accomplish tomorrow and when (what time) will I complete it?
Using this format helps me get thoughts out of my head and onto paper prior to bed. I feel better and fall asleep much easier.
Journaling is one of many formats to engage your thoughts and recognize life as it’s happening.
If you’re willing to try it you might find it as valuable as I do.
Motivational Speaking
I don’t work out because I’m in a good mood.
I’m in a good mood because I work out.
When we’re in a rut, moving our bodies help the positive energy start to flow.
Move to enhance your mood.
Don’t wait for the motivation, create it.
A Beautiful Mind And Body
You can create the mind and body you want from nothing.
Do not convince yourself otherwise.
It takes patience.
It takes hard work.
It takes confidence.
It takes a will to walk the lesser-worn path.
If you’re unhappy, if you’re stuck, if you’re thinking it’s insurmountable, I promise you it’s not.
When you can lean into the fear, quiet the noise of the crowd and overcome the feeling that you’re never good enough there’s no feeling like it.
It’s pure bliss.
It doesn’t mean it won’t be hard. It’ll be so hard. But that’s why it’s worth it.
The only thing you have to lose is the ability to be the happiest you’ve ever been.
Don’t let that happen.
Don’t ever let that happen again.
Captain’s Log
Day 14,674
Promising results today but, alas, I still haven’t figured out this thing called life.
Must keep learning and growing from each experience.
More experiments to follow.
Don’t give up.
You’re close.
Lead A Horse To Water
We can lead a horse to water but we can’t make them drink. FALSE
We can share travel tips, encourage risk aversion, and offer practical guidance but we can’t lead them to the water because they are walking an entirely different path than we are.
That journey is for them to embark on.
They have to make the decision to start.
They have to be willing to adapt and change.
They have to live with the outcomes.
The decisions are all their own.
Seed Round
Ideas are everywhere. They’re in our head, a notebook, a spark of inspiration from an observation.
Think of an idea as a seed on the ground.
There are thousands of those scattered around. We walk over them as quickly as they appear in front of us and they disappear in a flash behind us.
Not all seeds get fertilized. In fact, very few do.
Without the right conditions, they have no chance of turning into a majestic Redwood.
Execution is vital to its growth.
The same goes for our ideas.
House Cleaning
It’s difficult to help others when we haven’t helped ourselves first.
We need to get our house in order.
We owe it to ourselves to do the work necessary to understand why we are feeling at our worst and what makes us energized at our best.
Sometimes it’s easier to remove the negative elements first as that opens the airways to let a breath of fresh air in.
Where do we start? We could ask ourselves a simple question, “What is giving me anxiety today?”
The exploration of that answer is a new beginning to our understanding.
We’ve found our home-base.
Now we can pave a path forward.
10-Year Old Wisdom
As a parent, I’m constantly amazed. Yes, this is a proud dad post but it’s a lesson we all can take.
Cliffs Notes: I noticed my son loving musicals and encouraged him to watch/listen more. He recently started Musical Theatre classes and he knows every word to the show Hamilton so he wanted a hat and outfit to look like Lin-Manual Miranda’s character in the broadway show.
At school, they had a “play day” to bring in a toy to play with in the class. He wanted to bring his hat and he wrote this note as a reminder.
So what, right?
Read the last line of his note.
Why not?
I didn’t know a 10-year-old could have that much perspective.
Why not?
What’s the worst that would happen?
Why can’t we do the things that make us happy and show our best selves to the world?
I smiled reading that note. Who am I kidding, I shed a tear, as well.
What can we all take from this?
Why not…
Start that hobby.
Start that business.
Ask that person out.
Show up as you are.
Forge your own path.
Believe you are good enough.
It’s a powerful question we should be asking ourselves daily.
The old saying “be the change you want to see in the world” starts with one question.
Why not?
Elementary My Dear Watson
A question I’ve pondered in recent years which has been one of the catalysts to personal growth is, “What could I be wrong about?”
If we are open to the uncomfortableness that comes with the answer it will unequivocally alter our perspective.
Like a detective, we are more aware of our surroundings and look for clues that may inform us of a deeper truth.
Ego is replaced by Humility.
The depths of our knowledge become infinite.
Remember Death
There will be a last time for everything.
The last time talking to my brother.
The last time picking up my son.
The last time seeing a sunset.
A last round of golf.
Facing mortality should give us gratitude for the opportunities in front of us.
The things we do today may end up being the last time we get to experience them.
That shouldn’t scare us.
It should energize us.
It should inspire us to go after it with vigor and excitement.
To put our full energy and focus into it.
To lean in deep and relish the moment.
Memento mori (Remember, death.)
How To Eat An Elephant
We don’t read a whole book in one sitting.
It’s done Paragraph by paragraph.
Chapter by chapter.
Word by word.
That’s how any meaningful work is completed.
Small actions compound into big results.
If you’re struggling to start, what one action has to happen to get you going forward?
Forget step #2 right now. It doesn’t matter.
What’s the first step?
Do it today!
Start building that compounding effect our future selves will be grateful for.
A Needed Break
Here’s my encouragement today.
After you read this, wherever you are…
1. Set a 5 min timer on your phone
2. Put your phone away (preferably on “Do Not Disturb” as well)
3. Sit or lay down with your eyes closed
4. Focus on your breath and let your mind wander wherever it takes you.
Everything and everybody can wait.
Take those 5 minutes to be still.
Do it for yourself.
You need this.
It’s Gonna Be Me
I’ve been bleeding the Just Get Started mission for several years.
The Podcast.
The Blogging.
The Children’s Books.
The Sales Consulting.
The Coaching calls and guidance.
The venturing out into the dark wilderness.
Almost weekly (or daily) I kick myself thinking I’m not good enough.
I shouldn’t be doing any of this.
Nobody is going to listen.
Nobody is going to care.
I’m not worthy.
And then I look in the mirror and ask myself the question I’ve asked hundreds of times.
“Why can’t it be you?”
Why can’t you be the one to help others who are struggling?
Why can’t you be the one to spread kindness to the world?
Why can’t you be the one to live a purposeful life?
Why can’t you be anything you desire to be?
The struggle is fucking real.
The fear.
The self-doubt.
The comparison bias.
The self-limiting beliefs.
The imposter syndrome.
We all have it. We all go through it. Nobody is immune to the demons lurking in our minds.
But, we press on, every day toward our “North Star” because it is bigger than any of us.
To shine goodness in the world and bring forth a new age of vulnerability and transparency that can help us bond and adapt together.
Whatever demons you’re trying to fend off just know you’re not alone.
We see you.
We hear you.
We are going through it, too.
Every time we get down on ourselves we must be willing to stand tall, face the mirror, and ask ourselves, “Why can’t it be you?”
And then look that person straight into the fucking eyes and answer with an emphatic, “It can be and it will be.”
Speed Racer
One of the benefits of youth is sheer speed, going full force into the unknown without worry or compromise. We don’t think of the consequences until we fall flat on our faces again and again.
This is how we gain wisdom.
One of the products of wisdom is understanding pacing, timing, reasoning, and risk assessment.
We may not be able to “top out” our speed as we did as kids but we’ve learned why that isn’t necessary and there are alternative angles to approach a situation from.
Where we lack speed we’ve gained wisdom.
Speed gave us the chance to explore and uncover a new world for ourselves.
Wisdom has kept us from falling into too many traps.
Both are valuable for their own purposes.
Jigsaw Puzzle
Ever hear the phrase, “They were the one that got away”?
This isn’t exactly true. If they “got away”, for one reason or another, they didn’t mesh with our life.
Like a puzzle, some pieces clearly don’t fit while others appear to until we look much closer and observe with a keen eye.
Look around at the people in your life; our tribe, our community, our circle, whatever we want to call them, are there for a reason.
We’ve chosen them and they’ve chosen us.
We fit because we both chose to make it fit.
In our own unique, weird, off-the-wall way, we fit.
There’s no need to force the pieces.
The puzzle comes together effortlessly.
Free Your Mind
What have you changed your mind on in the past year?
Growth isn’t about doubling down on our beliefs and digging our heels in but recognizing that there is a big world out there filled with new ideas and different perspectives.
It’s not that we have to believe it all but we ought to be willing to listen.
Acceptance and gratitude become the guideposts to follow.
An open mind is our catalyst to change.
Slow The F Down
Why are you going so fast?
Where are you trying to rush to?
Have you considered what you’re missing out on right now?
Look around, smell the roses, and take in the fact that you get to be in this moment.
Soon enough, it’ll pass us by.
Sparklers
One hour.
One minute.
One second.
One new idea.
One purposeful decision.
A spark that lights a thousand future flames starts with one cataclysmic moment.
We can’t agonize about a year out or five or even ten.
We need to focus on today.
On the present.
On right now.
This could be the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
If we’re willing to seize it.
F.O.M.O.
Replace “Fear of missing out” with “Joy of missing out” and a next level mindset shift happens.
We begin to choose ourselves.
Happiness flows from there.
Day Of Rememberance
On this day last year, do you remember what you were worrying about and losing sleep over?
Today’s worries will most likely be like that, eventually.
They’ll feel bigger at the moment but hardly make a dent in your memory.
Most are insignificant.
Accept that the worry will be there but be willing to let it go before it sours our mood and adds unnecessary stress to our life.
Because this too shall pass.
40 Is The New 30
When I was 30 years old I was:
- Entitled
- Complacent
- Unorganized
- Undisciplined
- Closed-minded
- In loads of debt
I’ll be 40 this month, and none of the above is true anymore.
Change doesn’t happen instantly but it’s making the commitment to change that is the catalyst to produce profound results.
If you don’t like where you are I have great news.
You are in control.
Are you willing to commit to changing it?
One Step Away
Some people slow down running toward 1st base.
Others run full speed straight through the bag.
Knowing who we are can inform us where we are starting from. It doesn’t mean we can’t change if we want to.
We’re only one decision away from changing the entire trajectory of our future.
Not a hundred decisions.
Just one.
The next one is all that matters.
Make The Attempt
Failure is just an attempt. Let’s not romanticize it anymore otherwise, we overthink trying.
We failed to talk until we didn’t.
We failed to walk until we didn’t.
We failed addition until we didn’t.
We failed to ride a bike until we didn’t.
We failed to throw a ball until we didn’t.
We’ve failed countless times so why is this next attempt any different?
We are better off because of all of it; the success, the learning, the pain, and the suffering.
Nobody is throwing a perfect game in life.
Just act like we’re playing catch in the backyard.
It’s supposed to be fun even if we make a poor attempt from time to time.
Clear And Present Happiness
Can we honestly say to ourselves, “I’m happy today?”
If we can it’s important to understand why? What is happening or has happened where we feel this moment, right now, is a moment of happiness? We can’t repeat it exactly but we can work to replicate it again and again.
The same holds true if the answer is “No”. Why aren’t we happy? What are the contributing factors to unhappiness?
Recognizing these puts us in a position to learn what isn’t serving us and navigate away from it.
Happiness is a feeling, a moment, a benchmark in a time of stress-free living.
Are we willing to do the work to understand how we can create more of this?
Just Go With It
There’s no downside to going for it.
Best case, you get the thing you went for. Worst case, it was a complete and utter train wreck.
But here’s the thing, the worst case is forgotten much quicker than the regret of not doing it.
Regret lingers. It stews. It’s like the annoying neighbor that overstays their welcome.
Putting it out into the universe is the only way to go. We can make up stories in our heads but we don’t know what happens until it happens.
We have to act and let the universe work as it does.
No promises about the result that comes out of it.
But even failing spectacularly is much better than the alternative.
Community Builder
As the 2023 CrossFit Open kicks off, I was thinking about my 5 years at CrossFitRTP and the incredible community we have there.
This quote came to mind…
“Home is when people notice when you’re not there” – Alexander Hayman
It always feels like home walking in there.
People from different walks of life come together for similar reasons.
To feel welcomed and supported.
To build a stronger mind and body.
To prove that they can do hard things.
Wishing everyone finds a place that they can call “home”.
Ultra-Marathon
Play the entire game and add it all up at the end.
This is a mantra we’d all stand to benefit from.
Too often when we think we are “behind” it knocks us off our balance and bruises our ego. We throw our hands up and say, “What’s the point? I’ll never win.”
What is “winning” anyway?
Is it the physical prize at the end or is it the incalculable growth we made by pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone and into a new dimension of learning?
Far too often we are disappointed with the perceived “L” but fail to recognize it’s priming us for something bigger and better up ahead.
All of these reps are going to pay off for us, eventually.
We may not win this leg of the race but rest assured we’ll be prepared for the next.
Don’t give up before the race is over.
Wait But Why?
I used to be the “I’ll get started on Monday” type.
I became the “just get started now” type.
That single mindset shift changed my life.
I promise it’ll change yours, too.
Throw The Change Up
If we don’t like our shirt, we change it.
If we don’t like our job, we get a new one.
If we don’t like our relationships, we end them.
If we don’t like our thoughts, we can change them, too.
We do become what we think about.
Negative thoughts create negative actions.
If we change the way we think our whole perspective, attitude, and life can shift dramatically.
Sometimes oversimplification is what we all need.
Being Human
One of the more liberating thoughts we can have is knowing that not one single human being has life figured out.
We all struggle with insecurity
We all compare ourselves to others
We all go through periods of depression
We all think we aren’t close to good enough
We know we’re going to fail
We know we’re going to fuck things up
We know we’re going to beat ourselves up
Accepting these emotions frees us up to be fully present and aware.
Willing to give it our all knowing there’s a good chance it might not work out.
The effort is all we can control.
We figure it out from there.
Exercise Discipline
It doesn’t matter your age, sex, economic status, ethnicity, GPA, IQ, or any other factor for that matter.
Discipline is a skill everyone has the opportunity to learn and utilize.
It doesn’t mean we won’t fight excuses or resistance, or never get stuck again.
Those things are inevitable.
But, discipline helps us:
Commit to change
Articulate our vision for the future.
Ignite our sheer determination and willpower.
It allows us to find focus and fulfillment where we were scattered and distracted before.
Discipline takes practice and patience to develop but it’s one of the most useful skills we’ll ever come to learn.