A Needed Break
Here’s my encouragement today.
After you read this, wherever you are…
1. Set a 5 min timer on your phone
2. Put your phone away (preferably on “Do Not Disturb” as well)
3. Sit or lay down with your eyes closed
4. Focus on your breath and let your mind wander wherever it takes you.
Everything and everybody can wait.
Take those 5 minutes to be still.
Do it for yourself.
You need this.
It’s Gonna Be Me
I’ve been bleeding the Just Get Started mission for several years.
The Podcast.
The Blogging.
The Children’s Books.
The Sales Consulting.
The Coaching calls and guidance.
The venturing out into the dark wilderness.
Almost weekly (or daily) I kick myself thinking I’m not good enough.
I shouldn’t be doing any of this.
Nobody is going to listen.
Nobody is going to care.
I’m not worthy.
And then I look in the mirror and ask myself the question I’ve asked hundreds of times.
“Why can’t it be you?”
Why can’t you be the one to help others who are struggling?
Why can’t you be the one to spread kindness to the world?
Why can’t you be the one to live a purposeful life?
Why can’t you be anything you desire to be?
The struggle is fucking real.
The fear.
The self-doubt.
The comparison bias.
The self-limiting beliefs.
The imposter syndrome.
We all have it. We all go through it. Nobody is immune to the demons lurking in our minds.
But, we press on, every day toward our “North Star” because it is bigger than any of us.
To shine goodness in the world and bring forth a new age of vulnerability and transparency that can help us bond and adapt together.
Whatever demons you’re trying to fend off just know you’re not alone.
We see you.
We hear you.
We are going through it, too.
Every time we get down on ourselves we must be willing to stand tall, face the mirror, and ask ourselves, “Why can’t it be you?”
And then look that person straight into the fucking eyes and answer with an emphatic, “It can be and it will be.”
Speed Racer
One of the benefits of youth is sheer speed, going full force into the unknown without worry or compromise. We don’t think of the consequences until we fall flat on our faces again and again.
This is how we gain wisdom.
One of the products of wisdom is understanding pacing, timing, reasoning, and risk assessment.
We may not be able to “top out” our speed as we did as kids but we’ve learned why that isn’t necessary and there are alternative angles to approach a situation from.
Where we lack speed we’ve gained wisdom.
Speed gave us the chance to explore and uncover a new world for ourselves.
Wisdom has kept us from falling into too many traps.
Both are valuable for their own purposes.
Jigsaw Puzzle
Ever hear the phrase, “They were the one that got away”?
This isn’t exactly true. If they “got away”, for one reason or another, they didn’t mesh with our life.
Like a puzzle, some pieces clearly don’t fit while others appear to until we look much closer and observe with a keen eye.
Look around at the people in your life; our tribe, our community, our circle, whatever we want to call them, are there for a reason.
We’ve chosen them and they’ve chosen us.
We fit because we both chose to make it fit.
In our own unique, weird, off-the-wall way, we fit.
There’s no need to force the pieces.
The puzzle comes together effortlessly.
Free Your Mind
What have you changed your mind on in the past year?
Growth isn’t about doubling down on our beliefs and digging our heels in but recognizing that there is a big world out there filled with new ideas and different perspectives.
It’s not that we have to believe it all but we ought to be willing to listen.
Acceptance and gratitude become the guideposts to follow.
An open mind is our catalyst to change.
Slow The F Down
Why are you going so fast?
Where are you trying to rush to?
Have you considered what you’re missing out on right now?
Look around, smell the roses, and take in the fact that you get to be in this moment.
Soon enough, it’ll pass us by.
Sparklers
One hour.
One minute.
One second.
One new idea.
One purposeful decision.
A spark that lights a thousand future flames starts with one cataclysmic moment.
We can’t agonize about a year out or five or even ten.
We need to focus on today.
On the present.
On right now.
This could be the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
If we’re willing to seize it.
F.O.M.O.
Replace “Fear of missing out” with “Joy of missing out” and a next level mindset shift happens.
We begin to choose ourselves.
Happiness flows from there.
Day Of Rememberance
On this day last year, do you remember what you were worrying about and losing sleep over?
Today’s worries will most likely be like that, eventually.
They’ll feel bigger at the moment but hardly make a dent in your memory.
Most are insignificant.
Accept that the worry will be there but be willing to let it go before it sours our mood and adds unnecessary stress to our life.
Because this too shall pass.
40 Is The New 30
When I was 30 years old I was:
- Entitled
- Complacent
- Unorganized
- Undisciplined
- Closed-minded
- In loads of debt
I’ll be 40 this month, and none of the above is true anymore.
Change doesn’t happen instantly but it’s making the commitment to change that is the catalyst to produce profound results.
If you don’t like where you are I have great news.
You are in control.
Are you willing to commit to changing it?
One Step Away
Some people slow down running toward 1st base.
Others run full speed straight through the bag.
Knowing who we are can inform us where we are starting from. It doesn’t mean we can’t change if we want to.
We’re only one decision away from changing the entire trajectory of our future.
Not a hundred decisions.
Just one.
The next one is all that matters.
Make The Attempt
Failure is just an attempt. Let’s not romanticize it anymore otherwise, we overthink trying.
We failed to talk until we didn’t.
We failed to walk until we didn’t.
We failed addition until we didn’t.
We failed to ride a bike until we didn’t.
We failed to throw a ball until we didn’t.
We’ve failed countless times so why is this next attempt any different?
We are better off because of all of it; the success, the learning, the pain, and the suffering.
Nobody is throwing a perfect game in life.
Just act like we’re playing catch in the backyard.
It’s supposed to be fun even if we make a poor attempt from time to time.
Clear And Present Happiness
Can we honestly say to ourselves, “I’m happy today?”
If we can it’s important to understand why? What is happening or has happened where we feel this moment, right now, is a moment of happiness? We can’t repeat it exactly but we can work to replicate it again and again.
The same holds true if the answer is “No”. Why aren’t we happy? What are the contributing factors to unhappiness?
Recognizing these puts us in a position to learn what isn’t serving us and navigate away from it.
Happiness is a feeling, a moment, a benchmark in a time of stress-free living.
Are we willing to do the work to understand how we can create more of this?
Just Go With It
There’s no downside to going for it.
Best case, you get the thing you went for. Worst case, it was a complete and utter train wreck.
But here’s the thing, the worst case is forgotten much quicker than the regret of not doing it.
Regret lingers. It stews. It’s like the annoying neighbor that overstays their welcome.
Putting it out into the universe is the only way to go. We can make up stories in our heads but we don’t know what happens until it happens.
We have to act and let the universe work as it does.
No promises about the result that comes out of it.
But even failing spectacularly is much better than the alternative.
Community Builder
As the 2023 CrossFit Open kicks off, I was thinking about my 5 years at CrossFitRTP and the incredible community we have there.
This quote came to mind…
“Home is when people notice when you’re not there” – Alexander Hayman
It always feels like home walking in there.
People from different walks of life come together for similar reasons.
To feel welcomed and supported.
To build a stronger mind and body.
To prove that they can do hard things.
Wishing everyone finds a place that they can call “home”.
Ultra-Marathon
Play the entire game and add it all up at the end.
This is a mantra we’d all stand to benefit from.
Too often when we think we are “behind” it knocks us off our balance and bruises our ego. We throw our hands up and say, “What’s the point? I’ll never win.”
What is “winning” anyway?
Is it the physical prize at the end or is it the incalculable growth we made by pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone and into a new dimension of learning?
Far too often we are disappointed with the perceived “L” but fail to recognize it’s priming us for something bigger and better up ahead.
All of these reps are going to pay off for us, eventually.
We may not win this leg of the race but rest assured we’ll be prepared for the next.
Don’t give up before the race is over.
Wait But Why?
I used to be the “I’ll get started on Monday” type.
I became the “just get started now” type.
That single mindset shift changed my life.
I promise it’ll change yours, too.
Throw The Change Up
If we don’t like our shirt, we change it.
If we don’t like our job, we get a new one.
If we don’t like our relationships, we end them.
If we don’t like our thoughts, we can change them, too.
We do become what we think about.
Negative thoughts create negative actions.
If we change the way we think our whole perspective, attitude, and life can shift dramatically.
Sometimes oversimplification is what we all need.
Being Human
One of the more liberating thoughts we can have is knowing that not one single human being has life figured out.
We all struggle with insecurity
We all compare ourselves to others
We all go through periods of depression
We all think we aren’t close to good enough
We know we’re going to fail
We know we’re going to fuck things up
We know we’re going to beat ourselves up
Accepting these emotions frees us up to be fully present and aware.
Willing to give it our all knowing there’s a good chance it might not work out.
The effort is all we can control.
We figure it out from there.
Exercise Discipline
It doesn’t matter your age, sex, economic status, ethnicity, GPA, IQ, or any other factor for that matter.
Discipline is a skill everyone has the opportunity to learn and utilize.
It doesn’t mean we won’t fight excuses or resistance, or never get stuck again.
Those things are inevitable.
But, discipline helps us:
Commit to change
Articulate our vision for the future.
Ignite our sheer determination and willpower.
It allows us to find focus and fulfillment where we were scattered and distracted before.
Discipline takes practice and patience to develop but it’s one of the most useful skills we’ll ever come to learn.
A New Hope
It’s hard not to be a “prisoner of the moment.”
We uncover neat experiences.
We discover new opportunities
We are wowed by new people.
Unfortunately, one of the more difficult things in life is to accept that these don’t always last.
That although we might create great memories, these moments pass by.
That shouldn’t make us sad. It should give us hope.
Hope that more will be around the next bend.
Hope that we will continue to recognize these as they present themselves.
Hope that as we grow so will the value of the experiences, opportunities, and people we encounter.
We could be sad that the moments are ending or we could be grateful that we had them at all.
We choose our path. What happens on it is sometimes out of our control.
All we can do is embrace the moments that come our way because we never know how long we have them.
The Happiness Factor
When we are growing up we have a tendency to want more.
- More toys.
- More snacks.
- More video games.
- More time playing with friends.
What is hard to understand in those formative years is that the “more” we crave adds unnecessary responsibility and stress to our lives.
Unfortunately, we carry this into adulthood.
We think we want:
- More money = Working more hours
- More “toys” = Needing to make more money to pay for them
- More status = Needing the newest and most luxurious toys to stand out
Inevitably, there comes a time when most of us realize we have it backward all along.
What we really want is:
- More time = Eliminating wasted efforts
- More freedom = Choosing the type of work that fulfills us
- More belonging = Building deeper meaningful relationships
The person with the most “toys” doesn’t win. It’s because they’ve lived a life always wanting more and were never grateful for all they had in the first place.
They were never grateful for the important things:
- More time
- More freedom
- More belonging
If we are looking to become happier these become a great place to start.
Version Control
What was the 2013 version of ourselves doing back then?
What do you think the 2033 version will be doing?
We’ve come so far.
Imagine what some focused effort and decision-making can do for us over these next 10 years.
20 years into the future, our 2013 version will come to be unrecognizable.
The Waiting Game
There is no timeline.
Stop beating yourself up if you haven’t:
- Gotten traction yet
- Gotten that promotion/raise
- Met that significant other
- Found your purpose
- Figured it all out
The journey is the fun part. If it was easy would you really want to sign up for it? It’d get boring rather quickly.
Enjoy the process of discovering yourself and creating new opportunities by doing.
When it happens it’ll happen.
Stop hurrying.
You can’t force it.
Tighten The Screws
Often times it’s not a big change that has to be made.
It’s a tweak.
A slight pivot.
A minor movement forward.
One more turn of the wrench.
Progress happens through tiny intentional iterations.
Make a small change and see how that helps.
Then maybe another after that.
Before long we’re on a new path forward.
Progress, not perfection.
That minor tweak in thinking is substantial.
Opposites Do Not Attract
This cliche needs to be put to bed.
Sure, people with different personality traits, musical tastes, hobbies, and social skills get together all the time. Many of them become happy in the long term.
When we look from the outside and think they are “opposite” it takes our focus off what matters most.
They have aligned values.
They live by their virtues.
They share a vision.
They may be interesting and intriguing and have a different lens they look at the world through. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are “opposites”.
If anything, they are more alike than they give themselves credit for.
Brave The Elements
Starting is the hardest part.
There’s no denying that.
Whether starting something brand new or beginning from the starting line again.
Starting is unknown. And that scares us.
We have to venture out into a wilderness not seen before, take big risks, and deal with the harsh emotions that come with it.
As much as it’s a daunting task, what should scare us more is the complacency that comes from sheltering in place, barricading the walls, and covering the windows.
With being okay with the status quo.
When we are afraid to start we have to imagine what the regret might feel like if we don’t.
That premonition might be all the nudge we need to kickstart us on our journey forward.
Goodbye For Now
Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever.
It might be for a season or two.
For the cosmos to align again.
To see if it’s truly meant to be.
The goodbye isn’t the hard part as much as us forgetting the person when they’re gone.
If we’ve kept them alive in our hearts we can pick back up where we left off when we see them again.
Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever if we are willing to keep the flame burning.
Time passes but everlasting love feels like it hasn’t aged at all.
Fulfillment Center
We are happier more often when we’ve found fulfillment in life.
When we have a responsibility or purpose.
When we have a grasp on things.
How do we find fulfillment?
Start with these questions…
What activities make me feel the most alive?
When I need energy I ____?
When I lose track of time hanging out, the qualities those people possess the most are ____?
When I do ____ I normally don’t feel as good about myself?
I get most excited when I do ____?
The answers to these bring us closer to understanding ourselves.
Closer to accepting reality.
Closer to finding clarity.
Self-awareness becomes the accountability mirror we need to be staring into each day.
Class In Session
I’ve been fired.
I’ve been bullied.
I’ve been injured.
I’ve been rejected.
I’ve been divorced.
I’ve been cheated on.
I’ve been broken up with.
I’ve been made a laughing stock.
I’ve been cast aside countless times.
I’ve been physically and verbally abused.
But most of all I’ve been resilient.
Life is not about how we handle the best moments but our attitude when we encounter the worst.
Pain becomes life’s greatest teacher we just never know when class will be in session.
Free Lunch
Things that are free are mostly taken for granted.
Our mind.
Our body.
Our relationships.
We only realize how important they are when they get taken from us.
Until we can no longer have them in the same capacity as before.
Sometimes the most priceless things in the world don’t cost a thing.
Started From The Bottom
Starting back from the beginning is one of the hardest parts of life.
We question whether the investment was worth it.
But are we really starting over? Is this the same starting point?
We fail by not acknowledging all of the work we put in.
The mental and physical energy.
The struggle and sacrifice.
The commitment.
The learning.
Whether we succeed or fail is only how we define those terms.
What is a success, really, but an opportunity to pursue a fulfilling life?
Then why is trying a failure?
We have to see what’s there.
We have to see what can be accomplished.
We have to see what’s even worth it.
We’ve tried countless times in life and have failed spectacularly.
It doesn’t mean it hurts any less but it was necessary for our growth.
We should pick ourselves back up. Dust off. And get back to the next attempt.
Because we should consider ourselves lucky to even have one.
Growth Metrics
Life is not always kind but walking through the darkest alleys lets us know how bright we can shine.
Knowing how much pain we can endure and still push forward, stronger.
Embrace the pain and find a level of gratitude for all it is teaching us.
Our growth is vastly accelerated by having to go straight through it.
Stranger Danger
A hard part about raising an adolescent child is their transition from thinking the world is always kind to realize there is a dark side to life.
It’s a truth we know is coming, as parents, but one that is difficult to accept. We have two paths.
Avoid the conversation and suppress their curiosity or lean into the discussions with warmth and honesty.
It might be better to prepare them for a realistic future and provide the tools to handle those situations versus overprotecting them where they never learn how to protect themselves.
It’s a fine balance but one that we have to be willing to take.
It’s better than the alternative; them wandering the wilderness alone without any knowledge of what to do if danger appears.
The Success Trap
We have a hard time getting off the starting line because we haven’t defined what success looks like.
“Success” is often defined in the mainstream as lots of money, a big business, luxury toys, enormous houses, or exotic trips. People who are deemed “successful” may have fame or notoriety.
But is that your definition?
It might be staying healthy and fit.
It might be walking your kids to school.
It might be having the ability to help others.
It might be freedom to live where you want.
It may be doing things that give you ultimate joy.
Success can be a lot of different things.
When we are working off of someone else’s definition we become stuck.
Create your own and notice how your decisions and focus change.
You now have a clearer direction to move in.
It becomes much easier to start that way.
New Year New Me
This New Year let’s not say “New Year, New Me” because change doesn’t happen like that.
Change happens by moving intentionally and incrementally forward.
It’s building one good habit after another.
It’s becoming self-aware and accepting of ourselves.
It’s giving ourselves space and expanding our worldview.
What might be better to say is, “I’m going to work continually to be disciplined this year in the areas that I’ve uncovered aren’t serving me anymore and lean into better decisions, perspectives and relationships. I won’t always get it right but I’m going to learn and keep improving.”
It’s important to start and let the changes come progressively over time.
This way, when the next year rolls around you can confidently say “New Year, New Me”
Mental Reset
Don’t beat yourself up if you need a long break.
It’s good to take a whole mental health day to reset (maybe a few).
Stepping away provides a perspective we wouldn’t get if we were always on the go.
Those moments of stillness bring us the clarity we need.
They bring balance back to our lives.
They reenergize us and help us move forward again.
It’s a practice we should institute often.
Do Or Do Not
Once we try it we can’t untry it
Once we see it we can’t unsee it
Once we meet them we can’t unmeet them
Instead of regretting not taking the chance, we can appreciate our attempt.
We can never predict the outcome.
We can only connect the dots looking back and see if it worked out.
So, I urge you to try.
In the end, it might be painful but the lessons learned become incalculable.
Priority Shipping
We have to stop saying we don’t have the time.
We have time.
We don’t have it as a priority.
If we did, we’d accomplish it. It’d be the first thing we check off the list.
Often, the thing that is most important to us might also scare the hell out of us. So, we find reasons not to do it. We push it aside. We say we’ll get it done tomorrow.
Most of the other stuff on our list isn’t of high priority. It can wait.
We have to stop putting our dreams on hold for another day. For the time when we feel ready. We’ll never be fully ready. We’ll always have doubts. We’ll always question the path forward.
We have to start anyways.
Put all of the other shit aside for a moment.
Accept what is truly important and spend time on that, every day, even if it is just for a few moments. Advancing it forward, at a slow speed, adds up over a long time horizon.
But we never move off the starting line if we don’t actually start.
The Best Part Of Waking Up
What is it about a warm cup of coffee that makes us feel good?
Maybe it’s the taste first thing in the morning.
It definitely hits the spot.
But how much it is about the memories? Whether we drink it daily or periodically, there’s always something about that first sip.
It’s never rushed. There’s a moment of stillness. A heightened level of joy as it hits us.
It’s an instant flashback to hundreds of moments; an after-dinner coffee with friends, a fresh cup while standing on the first tee, or overlooking the mountains on a crisp morning.
That first sip brings us back. Back to the simple things in life. Back to times when we were present.
At that moment. When nothing else mattered.
Maybe it’s just a sip of coffee. Who knows.
Finding that peace, joy, and stillness, throughout our day, however, we can get it, should be something we all strive for more often.
Balance The Books
In business school, we are taught about balance sheets and formulas and all of the different ways to help determine the health of our business and our future outlook. Simple things like Assets (things we own) and Liabilities (things we owe). Those are the basics of balancing the books.
If we were to use this metaphorically for our overall health, would we be confident we’d be in a position to succeed?
If the assets were actions we took to fuel our body and mind, are we putting enough into each day to own the outcome?
If liabilities are things detrimental to our health, are we moderating or removing these altogether?
We can make the excuse that we are busy and life is going a mile a minute. It does, at times, appear this way. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make calculated decisions for our long-term health.
The choices we make today impact us months and years down the road. Small wins, each day can lead us to a better future.
We have a choice whether we are creating assets in our lives or adding more liability to our future selves.
The choice is clear but the work can be hard.
Start easy, make it achievable to accomplish, and start today.
Our future selves are banking on a brighter tomorrow.
Peaceful Protest
Where do we find peace?
Is it in the early mornings before the world wakes up?
Is it when we can find any quiet place?
Is it on a walk around the block?
Is it in deep conversations?
Peace means stillness. It means serenity. It means our minds feel balanced and free.
When we become frustrated we must stop and ask ourselves how we got here.
How have we given this time to everyone else and not ourselves?
Our lives can be very chaotic and we must find these pockets of peace.
We need that time. It’s precious. It balances us.
We schedule out many other seemingly insignificant tasks and meetings, surely we can put something on the calendar for our mental health?
Call it our “Personal Peace Practice” if we must and plan time every day.
It’s mandatory. It can’t be missed.
Soon it’ll start to be the one we look forward to over all others.
Fountain Of Youth
I often hear older folks say “I wish I was ___ years old again”
What they fail to realize is that eating nutritious food, working out, and sleep are levers that can be pulled to slow or even reverse aging.
They are equivalent to the “fountain of youth”.
They make us feel young and vibrant.
It’s not that we should wish we were younger again but that we are much wiser with our decisions now.
These types of decisions are always in our control.
Less But Better
Today I deleted over 30 apps from my phone.
They weren’t serving me anymore.
They were weighing me down.
A lot of life is like that.
We sign up for things because we’re scared to say no, we hoard things because we think we might need them, and we bottle up old feelings thinking they are benefitting us.
In Greg McKeown’s bestselling book, “Essentialism” his main thesis is this…
“Less but better”
How can we all apply this in our lives?
Eliminate things that are unnecessary and prioritize the things that bring us fulfillment.
Hang out with fewer people but have deeper relationships with them.
Commit to fewer projects but become a master at those few.
Focus on fewer thoughts but expand on the most worthy ones.
Priority is not supposed to be plural.
We need to stop overwhelming our plates with more than we can handle.
Try “less but better” and see how we do.
It might be one of the most freeing things we’ve ever given priority to.
Set Us Free
Sometimes life can be confusing and the easiest thing for us to do is make up a story in our head of what has happened.
But, we have to catch ourselves.
We can’t assume we know. We can’t assume we have the answers. We can’t cloud our minds with our imagined stories of what may have occurred.
We can only control our reaction to the situation, any situation, and keep a calm head about it. It doesn’t mean we can’t be nervous, anxious, or confused.
Those are real human emotions and we must recognize these feelings are important to have but we should counterbalance them by posing a simple question.
“Is it true?”
If we can be honest with ourselves we may find that the truth doesn’t align with how we are perceiving the situation. Our stories become fantasies and make-believe,
It opens us up to letting those feelings subside and no longer control us.
In this case, the truth can set us free.
Cringe-worthy
I was nervous and excited to hit “launch” on Episode 1 of the Just Get Started Podcast 5 years ago in 2017.
Today, I cringe a bit listening back to that first episode.
So many things I’ve learned in those 5 years.
So many accomplishments.
So many mistakes.
So much growth.
If we don’t cringe at our past work it probably means we haven’t progressed that far ahead.
But after we cringe, be grateful we took the chance on ourselves when we might not have been fully convinced this was the right choice.
There we so many unknowns but we started anyways.
We should be proud that we have the opportunity to cringe.
It means we’ve become a better version of our past selves.
We’ve scaled another summit we never knew was ahead.
Bravo!
Now, keep going!
Fairytale Ending
We worry because we care. That’s human.
We might care about what might happen or about someone’s well-being or a myriad of other things.
Worrying is the act of suffering now for a future state we are unsure of.
It is based on stories we are making up in our heads.
It’s almost never helpful because worrying tends to trend toward the negative. Rarely are we making these stories up with a fairy tale ending?
We think it’s helpful to play the various simulations in our head, but more times than not, the stories don’t end up exactly as we planned them anyways. They almost never do.
We never truly know what happens until it happens.
We may not be able to fully stop our worrying but we might consider combating the negativity by creating a more positive outcome of that future state.
Something that moves away from doom and gloom and becomes more sunshine and rainbows.
Because if we’re going to fabricate a story of something that hasn’t happened yet wouldn’t it be better to give it a more optimistic plot twist?
That Thing You Do
It’s only about doing.
Thinking is important.
Planning has relevance.
Ideation is helpful.
The “doing” becomes what matters the most.
Without the doing, nothing else matters.
Just start and keep iterating as you go.
Mr. Irrelevant
Growing up, I was never the first pick. Rarely even the 2nd or 3rd.
Luckily, I was just tall enough to avoid being the last person picked.
I was average. I blended into the background. I didn’t look the part.
But, when you got me on your team you knew what you had very quickly.
I loved to play. I gave an “all-heart” effort. I didn’t mind doing the dirty work and bumping elbows. I’d dive for the loose ball. Grit and determination were my strengths.
Maybe I got lucky growing up with an older brother that made things hard on me. Who was always tough to beat because he was bigger and stronger. Someone I never expected to give me an inch, and he never did.
I didn’t know it back then but the qualities I gained through childhood have served me well.
It doesn’t always matter what you look like from the outside or how you might “stack up” against those beside you.
It’s what happens when you get your chance to get in the game.
How do you perform?
First In Line
We all experience the first-day jitters.
First time speaking in front of an audience.
First day of a new school year.
First time getting in the game.
First date.
The first day of anything new can make us feel all the things.
We’re not different than anyone else. We’re human.
Embrace being nervous and get excited about what could come of it.
Nothing great happens until we experience it firsthand.
Ageless Wonder
Age is just a number. It’s meaningless.
If we believe that then we can push ourselves to the limits every day.
We can expand our minds.
We can become who we’ve always wanted to be.
It takes hard work, determination, grit, and focus.
It’s not a number on the calendar that is stopping us.
It’s ourselves.
But we can push through, we can achieve, and we can thrive.
We just have to get started.
And show up each day.
Age doesn’t determine that.
We do.
Flower Power
Take a seed out of any food we are eating and place it on the table.
Don’t do anything to it and let it sit there for a few weeks.
Do you know what happens?
Almost nothing.
Do you know why? Because there needs to be some action to create change. There needs to be some focused effort for growth to take place.
That seed is a metaphor for every idea we have in our heads that we want to pursue but we don’t.
It just sits there. It toys with us. It slowly dies each day.
But what happens when put the tiniest amount of effort toward that seed?
If it’s laid inside a wet paper towel it’ll start to sprout.
If it’s buried in some soil it could plant some roots.
If it’s placed outside in the sun it might start flowering soon enough…Just like our ideas.
They just need a little love. A little attention. A little light to be shined upon them.
And then, in time, they can become something we never could quite fathom.
They blossom into the most beautiful thing we’ve ever seen.
It’s real. It’s spectacular. It’s ours.
We’ve created it and it should give us the courage to create again.
One small step at a time is all it takes.
But we have to take the first step otherwise we might be wondering if this thing will ever turn into anything special.
It will.
We just have to give it a chance to grow.
We’re Talking About Practice
I want to talk about practice. Not the game, not the game we all love but practice.
Practice can be anything preparing us for the “game”. Thinking, reading, studying, and testing.
Getting uncomfortable.
Trying to imagine situations and getting ahead of them.
In practice, we break down a specific area and piece them together. We work on one aspect hard and then move on to another. There are also times when practice becomes a simulation of sorts. A run-through of an event that hasn’t taken place.
In the game, far too often we “wing it”. We show up unprepared for the conversations or the action we need to perform.
We think that just being there is enough. It’s not.
Being thoughtful about where we want to go can be the guidebook to prepare us for that journey. It can influence the things we do leading up to and during any situation.
But we have to be willing to put in the work. That’s how we make things feel fluid and easy. It’s all the hours of preparation prior to the game.
That preparation sets us up for success. That leads us to make better decisions at the moment.
Because we’ve already been preparing long before the moment arrived.
Balance Beam
Sometimes agendas and itineraries are important.
Structured, punctual, and organized. Knowing where we are headed and what we are doing. It becomes necessary in our life, at times.
But so does discovery and veering off course. So does spontaneously making a decision and living with the consequences. We can’t script every aspect of our lives.
Routines and calendars and schedules can box us into a corner. They can limit us to explore the far edges we haven’t considered. We can become frustrated.
We haven’t figured it all out yet. We still have room left to explore.
Let’s not give up on reaching outside our comfort zones.
That’s how innovation happens.
It’s where new ideas form.
It’s where we find new life.
Sometimes it’s necessary to calculate every minute but it can be just as important to wander off the path with no sense of time or direction, as well.
We need to give ourselves both.
It’ll give balance to our complex and uncertain lives.
Combining Resources
The best relationships in life have one clear thing in common.
There is a complimentary toolset that each person brings on the journey.
No one person is better than the other. Sometimes the tools one person has will be used and other times it’ll be the opposite. Oftentimes, the tools will work together to create something useful and generous.
If we think about relationships this way and work to keep them balanced then we’ll be better served as we deepen the connection and forge ahead.
We can certainly take our toolset and go along the journey alone but that doesn’t appear to make for the most fun and exciting adventure.
Those moments need to be shared and we should strive often to seek out those people to share them with.
It’ll make the trip that much more enjoyable.
Continuous Effort
We should never beat ourselves up for trying. That becomes futile.
We should be kind and generous to ourselves.
We should be okay will failing spectacularly.
We should be accepting of our faults.
Then, we should start again.
Passion Bucket
If you’ve said to yourself “I don’t know what I’m passionate about” then you’re in luck.
You should consider yourself grateful.
Because now you get to explore. You get to tinker. You get to try things. You get to figure it out.
You start to rule out things you don’t like and keep putting energy into the stuff you do.
When we don’t have anything we are truly passionate about it gives us agency to lean into new experiences and try to discover what we may like.
It all comes down to a choice. A choice to choose a small amount of discomfort in order to discover new things.
Things we might become insanely passionate about.
Don’t give up because you haven’t found your passion yet.
That’s the exciting part of the journey.
Keep searching.
Sleeping Giant
Growth mostly happens when we’re alone, in the darkness of our minds, and the depths of our thoughts.
It’s in the quiet moments when no one is around that we are growing stronger and more confident with who we are.
Being alone can be a blessing. It’s something we should strive for in the busyness of life.
The quiet moments open our minds to explore where we’ve been and where we are now.
It’s in those moments that we can believe in our mission and trust in the effort we are putting forth.
Seek out the quiet.
It’ll shine a light in the darkness and sound the alarm on the areas we still need to work on.
That’s the only way we can truly expect to know if we’ve grown or not.
Early Bird Special
If you haven’t gotten to wake up early recently, before the sun rises and the bustle of the day begins, then I’d encourage it.
It’s serene. It’s quiet. There is a peacefulness about it.
We rarely get to be with our thoughts or watch the beauty and awe of a sunrise. By letting the energy flow into us we can calmly accept the day ahead with gratitude.
The more we sit and think, the more we discover ourselves and what we want out of life.
Take some time this week to take in the sunrise and be calm.
Be still.
That energy will carry with you throughout your entire day.
The Greatest Gift
We’ve all had more “failed” relationships than we can count.
Friendships are no longer intact.
Business partnerships split.
Divorce and Break-ups.
It’s happened throughout our lives and emotionally those take a toll on us.
But, there is a silver lining to all of it.
If we are willing we can gain a positive perspective and take away gifts.
Although those relationships have soured, the gifts that have come out of them might make a world of difference in our future.
We are more thoughtful about what we want and don’t settle for mediocrity any longer.
We are more decisive about our actions and don’t waiver.
We are more grateful for the opportunities that arose out of the ashes.
I’ve had many gifts that have come out of relationships that haven’t worked out.
The greatest of all is my son.
Party of Two
What is it that makes us feel so sure about some people while others are hard to figure out and they make it difficult for us to bring them into our circle?
It’s about showing up.
It’s showing up with energy and attention.
It’s showing up when they know we need them.
It’s showing up when it’s not convenient.
It’s showing up with acceptance and an open mind.
It’s sometimes showing up and being silent.
It’s trust and respect at its core.
It’s understanding that it’s mutually beneficial for both parties.
It can’t always be one-sided.
A Moment In Time
How incredible is life?
In an instant, without any warning, our life can be altered in the most magical way by the most magical people.
People that, just a few seconds ago, didn’t exist to us. We had no idea who they were.
But, when we felt their energy, we knew it was something special.
We knew our life had changed forever.
We never know when it might happen but it’s incredible when it does.
We should all be grateful for those moments and look out for them more often.
Because they end up shaping the rest of our lives in a profound way.
Parental Intervention
Kids need some intervention but what would happen if we just got out of the way most of the time?
I think they’d do just fine.
We are not perfect and we have so many limiting beliefs or blindspots that we potentially start exposing them to those. It can become detrimental.
Let them figure it out themselves. Let them problem solve. Let them self-regulate.
Let them be themselves.
We can be a coach and talk through what they are going through but we don’t necessarily have to give them all of the answers. We don’t have to tell them exactly what to do.
Otherwise, we can’t blame them when they are older and don’t turn out to be upstanding, kind, and generous adults.
They were just doing what they were told.
Stepping Stones
It’s funny when we reflect back on our past and almost don’t recognize the person we used to be.
It should give us confidence that whatever we are going through today can be overcome and used as a stepping stone to a better future.
Embrace the suck, it won’t always be this way.
Conquering Fools
There comes a point where all of us have to make a choice in life.
Do we choose to keep searching for “better”, for a perceived perfect, or do we make a decision to be happy with what we have in front of us?
That’s a choice that is hard for many to make because society always talks about striving for more and better. To keep improving, advancing, and conquering.
What is often missed is that we can conquer as a team and still advance toward a pursuit of better, if we’d like.
We don’t have to do it alone.
Building a life with someone is a journey in itself. There will be highs and lows, constantly, but there will also be support, trust, and respect.
We will be able to communicate and game-plan together. We can make each other better.
So, as we nitpick every nuance and every “red flag” and decide which life path we should choose, remember this…Life is to be lived. It shouldn’t be perfect.
We aren’t perfect. And neither is anyone else.
But together, we can become the best versions of ourselves. We can raise the level of our skills together.
We can have someone volley the ball back to us and keep us on our toes, moving and growing.
That appears like a much better alternative than hitting the perfect shot with no one on the other side returning serve.
I know which game I’d rather play.
Smells Like Potential
Potential – The inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or future success.
When we were told as kids, “You have potential”, it meant that we had a lot of opportunities to grow into something more than we were at that time.
However, I wish we interpreted it as the ability to step outside of the box we were in, shake it up a bit, turn it upside down, and then see what happens. I wish we were told that we control our “potential” by prodding and poking our belief systems.
We develop beliefs about all types of things from the time we are young but if we are not careful we start to become those beliefs, even if they are peppered with unfounded information and half-truths.
We have to battle-test our own beliefs and make sure they are not claims we’ve just gone with because they’ve been with us for so long. Because they feel comfortable and make sense to us.
We have to have the courage to at least try. Otherwise, we’ll only be able to stretch as far as those beliefs allow us to go.
We thought differently back then. We observed differently. Our environment was different.
So why hang on to the old belief systems?
We have the potential to change our beliefs if we give ourselves the opportunity to get outside that box that society likes to put us in.
The one that we have kindly accepted all of these years without question.
Homeward Bound
Just because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re wrong.
Chances are as we are trying to live our best life we’ll be exploring new ideas and it may waiver from what we’re known for.
Keep going.
We are always going to be misunderstood early on as we adapt and change. We’ll be questioned and judged. We’ll be ridiculed.
But we’ll attract the right kind of energy from the right kind of people.
Our being different will be seen as a special gift.
We’ll be welcomed and supported.
We’ll find our home again.
Tidy Up Our Room
Have you ever looked at a 10-year olds room? Do you remember yours at that age?
It’s messy. It’s sloppy. It’s disorganized. It can be disgusting.
Because they are 10. They have bigger priorities than keeping their room tidy.
As we age, we can become very buttoned up. We make sure we are clean and orderly. We want to look the part to the world. Heck, some of us even clean their house prior to a cleaning company coming in to do it.
To the outside world, we have it all together.
But, inside we can be messy, sloppy, and disorganized. We can be dealing with a lot of things that we are afraid to share with the world. We can be making decisions that are leading us down the wrong path.
We have to pause and reflect.
Why are we neglecting ourselves in order to be perceived a certain way?
Why are we unwilling to realize we have some shit going on that we have to deal with?
When are we going to realize we have to clean up our room?
We may have taken it for granted in the past but now it must become our #1 priority.
Secret Ingredient
There are many ingredients that go into building a foundation for a happy life.
One of those must be living in the now. Living in the present. Not worrying about moments past or moments promised.
It’s all about now.
What are we doing to squeeze every ounce out of this moment?
Effortless Energy
Our effort is the telltale sign that we care.
When we put the effort, into anything, it proves that we are committed to this thing.
This purpose, this relationship, this mindset, this pursuit of happiness.
If we are questioning whether we care, all we have to do is look at our effort.
It tells us everything we need to know about who or what we prioritize in our life.
Because the most important things become effortless to put our energy into.
The Forked Road
Life has many small forks in the path. We never can know which direction will lead to which future state so we have to rely on the energy we feel, the knowledge we have, and the intuition that has guided us before.
We have to rely on our “in the moment” decision-making and not hesitate when the answer is clearly in front of us.
We have to have confidence and conviction that this is the right thing to do even when the butterflies are sending our body into an unknown spiral of emotions.
That’s the feeling we want to have.
It helps us know it’s the right one.
It helps us trust the direction the compass is steering us.
The decision isn’t that hard anymore.
The fork in the road becomes much clearer to navigate.
Big Picture
We can’t see the forest through the trees. We also don’t know how big it is. Are we standing in someone’s one-acre backyard or in the Amazon rainforest?
Oftentimes, our problems can get pushed to the side and avoided for a short time but if they go unresolved they can resurface and weigh us down creating a bigger burden than if we addressed them head-on.
When problems or feelings arise, zoom out. Look at the big picture. Look at it from different angles. Look at what happens if we solve it now versus pushing it off.
We have to have the courage to get out of the shadows and expose ourselves to what’s happening.
It might be one of the only ways we can free ourselves.
Valuable Discovery
If we haven’t defined what “happiness” means to us then how can we be sure we are making the right choices to lead us to a happier life?
Happiness is the result of consistent decisions that are aligned with our virtues, values, and vision for our life.
Seeking happiness is irrelevant if we don’t have a clearer direction on which way to go.
If we are looking for a place to start that might not be a bad first step.
Missing Opportunity
Opportunities surface in strange ways and unexpected places. They can surprise us.
We are going along fine and then we are hit with a rush of emotion, excitement, and potential. We have a chance to act on it.
But sometimes we don’t. We must understand why?
Why would we pass it up? What harm could come out of pursuing it? Why do we feel we are not worthy enough to test this new endeavor?
Sometimes the questions are easier to ask than they are to answer. But the answers are in there if we are willing to sit with them.
We must be holding onto what makes us feel unworthy of the pursuit.
Dig for it.
Find it.
Let it surface.
Expose it for what it is and uncover the root cause of how it got there.
We may not resolve it right away but at least we can face it head-on. We create an open dialogue with ourselves.
We give ourselves the opportunity to grow.
We give ourselves a chance when the next moment arises.
Because it might turn out to be something that stops us in our tracks, makes us turn around, and head us in a new direction we never would’ve imagined.
Soul Mates
Surround ourselves with people who when we look in their eyes there is a fire that projects back into our soul.
It may sound hokey but we’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives. There is this energy, this aura, this force that surrounds them. We know it’s different than most people we encounter.
When we find these people we have to embrace them and bring them into our circle.
We need that energy as we can’t do life alone.
Community is a vital part of a happy life and we shouldn’t want it any other way.
Tempus Fugit
As we are reading this, time is evaporating. Not nearly at the speed it appears it has been going as the present time always feels slower.
When we peek into the past it feels like time has moved at hyperspeed.
But, then again, the moment we are in now will become that blurred memory soon enough.
We can’t take for granted what we have right in front of us. All of the opportunities are at our fingertips.
Some are easy, low-hanging fruit while others possess a much larger barrier to scale.
Decisions take time but so do indecisions.
Just start leaning in and enjoy the unknown adventure ahead.
Remember, time flies.
The G.O.A.T.
The greats aren’t great because they were born great.
They are great because they get up, every day, determined to make a difference in their lives.
They made something out of what they had.
The cool part is we have the same opportunity to become great at something, too.
It takes showing up consistently, dedicating the time and energy, accepting failure, recalibrating our minds, focusing, and maybe even enduring some pain.
It’s up to each and every one of us to be our own level of great.
We just have to be willing to make the commitment.
Define Happiness
If we haven’t defined what “happiness” means to us then how can we be sure we are making the right choices to lead us to a happier life?
Happiness is the result of consistent decisions that are aligned with our virtues, values, and vision for our life.
Seeking happiness is irrelevant if we don’t have a clearer direction on which way to go.
If we are looking for a place to start that might not be a bad first step.
A Picture Hides A Thousand Stories
We see pictures and videos of people doing cool things, exploring life, appearing happy, and all of that excitement shines through in their expressions and actions.
But what often gets missed is the pain behind those smiles.
The family member dealing with cancer
The dog they had to put to sleep
The thin thread that is holding their marriage together
The stress of financial shortcomings
We are all going through stuff and even when it looks like we are the only ones suffering, it isn’t.
We have to remember that in our lowest moments everyone is going to appear happy. We want them to be happy but we know that life is also happening to them. Just like it is for us.
We have to know that whatever we are going through “this too shall pass” and we’ll have the opportunity to be happy ourselves once again.
We have to believe it.
That’s the only way we can move on.
Win The Day
Consistency is the worst kept secret of accomplishing anything important to us.
We must start. Not once but each and every day.
More than motivation it’s an action.
It’s the constant motion forward of small, tiny, almost insignificant steps in the direction we seek that count the most.
Others won’t see it right away.
We may barely feel it.
But knowing what we want to do and being intentional about doing it is all that matters.
We may not be prepared for the entire adventure ahead but we don’t need to be.
We just need to be prepared for today.
Get through today and we can rest up for tomorrow.
Because we’ll have to battle ourselves again to get up and keep moving.
We know it won’t be easy but that’s what makes it worth it.
Blinders On
The cataclysmic discovery that can change the course of our life is the realization that almost nobody is thinking about us almost all of the time.
At first, it appears devastating until we realize that this is the same for everyone.
When this “aha” moment appears it begins to free us of the shackles that hold us into place and don’t allow us to start.
Don’t worry, there will be plenty of judgment, critiques, and snickers. We’ll get an earful from time to time for being different.
But it’s short-lived. Those people have other things that will distract them soon enough.
So press on. Move forward. Do you.
Forget what the naysayers are spouting.
They’re barely paying attention in the first place.
Cordial Conversations
Disagreeing is not toxic in a relationship.
Being unwilling to listen to a different perspective is.
If we are scared to have a direct conversation with someone over something that we care about or that is bothering us then we should question the strength of our relationship with them.
Relationships are hard. Period.
Having relationships with people where there is open and honest communication is of utmost importance.
It’s not that all of the conversations are positive it’s that they are filled with respect and cordialness that whatever issues we are having we will get past them together.
Life is too short to be in bad relationships.
Let’s make that something we are unwilling to compromise on.
Perspective Gain
Most of life’s pain comes from how we thought it should be or that it didn’t work out as planned.
But what if it actually did?
Sometimes we can be the worst judge of a situation when we are in the moment but when we step back away from it, as time goes on, we begin to realize it was a moment that changed us for the better.
We become grateful for the uncomfortable and painful moments because they are actually what we needed to grow.
It’s all a shift in mindset. It’s not easy. Of course, it’s not easy.
But our mindset controls everything. We have a positive mindset when things are going our way, so why can’t we take that same perspective when they aren’t?
I know why. Because it battles every part of our being that was instilled as a child. We have to be upset, get emotional, or feel depressed when anything goes against what we thought should happen. We witnessed this countless times in our life. It has been programmed. It’s on autopilot now.
But that’s not how it has to be.
We have one life. One very complex weird ever-changing life where we happened to get into this body. We are conscious beings and one of the downsides of that can be that we feel deep emotions, attachments, memories, or aspirations. It can work in our favor or not. We choose.
We can remember the past and project into the future.
But all that matters is now. All that matters is how we handle the situation we are in now. The future will take care of itself when we get there.
So, for now, instead of losing our shit in one situation or another it might be helpful to remember that we’ve been wrong a lot about bad moments. Out of that despair came a new opportunity, a new relationship, and new learning. All positives are on the backside of a bad situation.
It happens to us countless times but our old way of thinking forgets. It only remembers that bad moment’s equal depression and struggle. It rarely remembers that there is hope and opportunity from all of it.
That’s the mindset we need to take into it.
Is it going to be hard? You bet.
Is it going to be painful? You’re damn right.
Is it going to test us? Fuck yea.
But our positive perspective will dig us out of it much faster and with newfound hope for tomorrow.
It’s not about being easy, life isn’t easy.
It’s about being hard, and managing our way to a better spot.
We grow in the moments that test us most.
Embrace them.
Defining Moment
Are we willing to call ourselves out first before blaming someone or something?
It’s always easier to blame others, and sometimes they are at fault, but what have we done to cause the situation? How have we contributed?
And, more valuable to consider, is this even worth getting upset over?
Most things that happen are so insignificant that the best option becomes not saying anything at all. We can tap down the ego with a dose of humility.
Have we ever made a mistake before?
Have we dropped the food right before serving it?
Have we cut someone off in traffic?
Have we held up a checkout line with a lot of items?
Have we parked poorly between the lines?
Have we messed up an order?
Have we had one of the days where we just struggled?
So do other people.
Before causing a scene or yelling at someone or getting angry we need to be willing to look at that “mirror” and tell ourselves that we are in control.
Our actions, right now, define us.
Humility.
Empathy.
Compassion.
These are the traits we want others to exude when we mess up or are having a bad day.
We need to take that into consideration next time we are in that situation.
How will that moment define us?
That’s So Choice
Some days I look at the blogs I’ve written and I say, “I wrote that!”
Other days I say, “I wrote that?”
We can be our biggest cheerleaders or our worst critic.
We take judgment and comments from outsiders all the time but when do we actually reflect on how we talk to ourselves?
Why do we treat ourselves like this?
It’s okay to question ourselves from time to time in order to make sure we are heading in the right direction but let’s not forget that we choose the attitude we take into each moment.
Are we exercising gratitude, humility, and optimism or are we letting a large shadow of negativity come over us?
It’s our choice how we choose to talk to ourselves.
It might serve us well to be kinder.
Sitting Idle
What did we fail at today?
Failing means that we tried something uncomfortable or difficult and pushed ourselves a tad into a world of discomfort.
Acknowledging we failed shows us that we can accept our failures and it might give us the courage to try and fail again.
If we’re stuck, maybe the answer isn’t sitting idle and moping but getting out there and trying some new shit.
It’s just an idea we might want to ponder today.
Change The Dial
Failure fucking sucks
Being told no sucks
Rejection sucks
But maybe those “No’s” are exactly what we need. They focus us more inward. They shake us up by telling us we haven’t quite tweaked the dial just right.
We still have work to do.
But in that work, we start to define ourselves better. We start to have a clearer vision. We start to hear “No” a lot less often.
Not because we’ll stop asking the questions but because we’ll have a much clearer picture of what we want to do and who we want to be around.
When we’re more calibrated we have a better chance to run into happiness.
It somehow just gets in the way.
Bold Strategy
We get so caught up with big and bold. Be seen, be heard, be cheered.
But it’s actually the moments that most people don’t witness that are the most important to a happy life.
It’s reading a book to your kids and giving them a hug and kiss goodnight.
It’s a “how are you doing today?” with a significant other that turns into a long conversation.
It’s being able to sit with ourselves and be stress-free.
Those moments take up the majority of our lives. Those simple, “uneventful” moments almost get forgotten because they are routine.
Maybe we should consider why they are that way and embrace them more. They matter way more than any glorious achievement does.
When we lose people close to us, rarely do we remember their greatest achievements. We remember the small stuff, the little quirks, and the subtle nuance.
We remember the mundane.
Those become the most important memories.
The ones we often take for granted.
Get Out Of Jail Free
When we’re young we are told that if we make bad choices we could end up in jail.
What is never explained, however, is that while we may not end up in a physical jail for committing a crime, our decisions could lead us into a “mental jail” that might be just as bad, in some cases.
We feel stuck
We feel stressed
We wonder how we got here
We are in a situation that seems impossible to get out of.
But there is a way.
It’s difficult and it might take time but it starts with a choice.
A choice to change.
Just like the choices we’ve made that didn’t work out and got us into this situation, we can make new choices to lead us out of it.
We can recalibrate the compass and move in a different direction.
The choice to change becomes our “get out of jail free” card.
Having the courage to change ultimately determines whether we use it or not.
Alternative Energy
Our view of the world not only shapes our mindset but can influence our decisions and actions every day.
Some see the opportunity while others see the obstacle.
Some see the beauty while others see the blemishes.
Some splash in the puddles while others curse the rain.
The world can be a dark and dangerous place if that’s how we choose to view it.
But there is always another vantage point if we are willing to embrace it.
It may not always be sunshine and rainbows but it certainly is better than the alternative.
Buzzworthy
I rarely recognized how the noise around me was cluttering my mind and distracting me from creating the life that I wanted.
Have you ever felt this way?
We’re about to do something but the “buzz” in our pocket takes us away from focusing on the things that really matter.
That “buzz” can be a metaphor for any distraction we come across.
The world is noisy, yes, but it becomes much quieter when we realize we have a choice.
There is an “off” button.
We can silence the notifications, we can prioritize our lives, and we can focus on ourselves first so that we can then give more of our true selves to the world.
We can accept what we’ve known all along but have avoided or suppressed while the distractions have overtaken us.
We can start to listen to what we really want.
Then the question becomes, is the noise really coming from the outside, or has it been inside our own heads this whole time?
Mud on the Tires
Maybe we shouldn’t have it all figured out.
Maybe seeking is part of the enjoyment of life. That discovery into the unknown.
It’s a bit scary.
It’ll wake us up.
We’ll need to focus.
We can’t put the mind in “self-drive” mode and cruise.
Life is not going mindlessly through each day and getting by.
It is supposed to be lived.
Fully present. Fully alive at the moment. Full of wonder and curiosity.
We have to take control of the wheel and veer off-road.
That’s when living starts to happen.
Fast and Slow
We can get it in our heads that if we’re not moving forward, fast and furious, then we will be left behind.
This is one of the self-limiting beliefs I had for many years. The notion that there is some race.
What I’ve come to realize is that we can all move forward, extremely fast, but it comes at a big cost. We rush projects, we rush parenting, we rush our partners. We are so worried about the days ahead that we forget the moment we are in right now.
We can all go fast.
But it’s the ones who can be still that achieve the most happiness.
They gain perspective on the world around them. They ponder decisions. They develop new routines by analyzing current ones. They open their eyes to new possibilities. They think.
This can’t be done when we are moving a mile a minute. It’s impossible.
The only way to speed up is to slow down. Retool the engine. Refine the skills. Be thoughtful about the next course of action.
With that, we can have the opportunity to move at a greater clip while recognizing that it’s important for intermittent stops.
We have to give ourselves this time to pause.
It’s the only way we’ll ever get ahead.
The Vast Unknown
Before we use a telescope make sure we look into the microscope.
Our thoughts shape our mindset.
Our mindset shapes our actions.
Our future, although unclear, is being shaped by each one of our decisions today.
It’s the inception of the most microscopic idea that starts us on our journey.
It influences our confidence, beliefs, and attitude.
We must start at the smallest possible level before we can ever look forward to the vast unknown of the future.
Progress always begins there.
Elevator Pitch
What can be seen as a negative can also be seen as a positive?
“Ugh, the elevator is broken, now I have to climb six flights of stairs” can be flipped around just as easily to “Hey, the elevator is broken, I’ll at least get a little workout in as I climb these six flights of stairs.”
The way we perceive our situation and the world around us influences how we think. If we want to complain, there are many things to complain about. If we want to be grateful, there are the same amount of opportunities for that as well.
The choice is always up to us.
Scar Tissue
They say, “out with the old and in with the new” but let’s make sure we don’t completely forget.
Wounds heal over time but, like a tattoo, the scars remain present where we can see them from time to time.
They offer a glimpse into the past if we have the courage to look back.
Although we can’t remember the pain, we can recall who we were in those moments and how we responded to the situation.
We can gain a perspective that the person looking back today is different from before and the pain of the past has helped blossom promise for the future.
It’s a hard thing to do, feeling the old scars, but it’s one of the few ways we can know we’ve grown.
We know we can handle it again despite how big the wounds end up becoming.
Footsteps
If we get caught up comparing ourselves to others, we must remember this…
They are not a mile ahead of us. They are only just a few feet.
The difference is that they decided to start and hyperdrive their output.
That’s it.
They are no more uniquely qualified than us. We all have something special that could be leveraged if we wanted to.
We could forge our own path.
The hardest choice is whether we begin walking down it or not.
Minecraft
Crafting well-meaning and articulate messages can take a lot of time to learn.
And that’s the rub of it.
We have to write thousands of bad messages in order to refine our skills, shorten the message, and get specific on the value.
That rationale can apply to many things we do in life. We must be comfortable being bad at something in the early stages in order to hurdle that gap from not knowing to knowing. From novice to proficient.
Once we start to “get it” and are feeling comfortable then we know we’ve acquired the correct knowledge, mostly through consistency and practice.
That’s when it might be time to look at new ways to be bad again.
To become a beginner learner in a new area.
To once again scale another mountain for growth opportunities that we haven’t yet considered.
Offensive Coordinator
Sports can be a great metaphor for life.
We can either control the tempo of the game or always be back-peddling on our heels and retreating.
So, It’s important to play offense as much as possible (be optimistic, think positively, show gratitude) versus playing defense (putting up walls, negative self-talk, and letting others control what we do).
The only way to live a happier life is to do it on our own terms, pursuing the things that brighten our day and expose us to new growth opportunities.
To do this effectively, we must have the ball in our hands as much as possible. We must be in control of our thoughts and actions.
We must be okay with being on the offensive.
System Failure
Some days we don’t have it all together. We are stressed and anxious and have a ton of responsibility to attend to.
Getting through those days seems like an endless chore. It’s tough to prioritize for the long term when we are putting out fires all over the place.
This is why our preparation becomes so vital to our long-term goals, attitude, and happiness. When we create systems for our good habits it helps us accomplish them even on the roughest days and in the most adverse conditions.
It’s not that we can’t miss every now and then but when we get away from our good habits for an extended period of time they become distant to us. We are out of rhythm. We can get lost and have a hard time finding that equilibrium again.
We need to start putting those in place now.
We schedule our work meetings, kids’ soccer games, dentist appointments, etc. Why not everything else critical to our mental and physical health?
Thinking/meditating
Fitness
Healthy eating
Date nights
Sleep
It should all go on the calendar if we need it to. Then we can take a wide lens look at our day or week and work around it.
It’s not that things won’t come up and we have to alter our plans every now and then. It’s when it’s never a priority in the first place it falls through the cracks time and time again.
The system we’ve created becomes broken.
We wonder how we ever get anything done.
Believe It
If we believe in something wholeheartedly then we should have no fear in pursuing it to the max.
No fear of failure. Of rejection. Of loss.
If we feel it deep down in our core then we have to see it through one way or another.
In fact, we can’t lose either way.
On one hand, if we achieve what we wanted in the first place then we can reflect on the process it took to get there and the impact this will have on our lives going forward.
On the other, if it doesn’t work out, at least we know. I think “not knowing” is one of the things that hold us up from letting go of this idea. That thought of “can I really achieve this?”, “do they really want to be with me?, “can I overcome this obstacle?”
It eats at us.
So, at least if we know then we can change our mindset and alter our thinking. We don’t have to hold onto this idea any longer.
We can move on and move forward.
We can believe that there are better things up ahead for us.
We can be free.
A Needed Break
Here’s my encouragement today.
After you read this, wherever you are…
1. Set a 5 min timer on your phone
2. Put your phone away (preferably on “Do Not Disturb” as well)
3. Sit or lay down with your eyes closed
4. Focus on your breath and let your mind wander wherever it takes you.
Everything and everybody can wait.
Take those 5 minutes to be still.
Do it for yourself.
You need this.
It’s Gonna Be Me
I’ve been bleeding the Just Get Started mission for several years.
The Podcast.
The Blogging.
The Children’s Books.
The Sales Consulting.
The Coaching calls and guidance.
The venturing out into the dark wilderness.
Almost weekly (or daily) I kick myself thinking I’m not good enough.
I shouldn’t be doing any of this.
Nobody is going to listen.
Nobody is going to care.
I’m not worthy.
And then I look in the mirror and ask myself the question I’ve asked hundreds of times.
“Why can’t it be you?”
Why can’t you be the one to help others who are struggling?
Why can’t you be the one to spread kindness to the world?
Why can’t you be the one to live a purposeful life?
Why can’t you be anything you desire to be?
The struggle is fucking real.
The fear.
The self-doubt.
The comparison bias.
The self-limiting beliefs.
The imposter syndrome.
We all have it. We all go through it. Nobody is immune to the demons lurking in our minds.
But, we press on, every day toward our “North Star” because it is bigger than any of us.
To shine goodness in the world and bring forth a new age of vulnerability and transparency that can help us bond and adapt together.
Whatever demons you’re trying to fend off just know you’re not alone.
We see you.
We hear you.
We are going through it, too.
Every time we get down on ourselves we must be willing to stand tall, face the mirror, and ask ourselves, “Why can’t it be you?”
And then look that person straight into the fucking eyes and answer with an emphatic, “It can be and it will be.”
Speed Racer
One of the benefits of youth is sheer speed, going full force into the unknown without worry or compromise. We don’t think of the consequences until we fall flat on our faces again and again.
This is how we gain wisdom.
One of the products of wisdom is understanding pacing, timing, reasoning, and risk assessment.
We may not be able to “top out” our speed as we did as kids but we’ve learned why that isn’t necessary and there are alternative angles to approach a situation from.
Where we lack speed we’ve gained wisdom.
Speed gave us the chance to explore and uncover a new world for ourselves.
Wisdom has kept us from falling into too many traps.
Both are valuable for their own purposes.
Jigsaw Puzzle
Ever hear the phrase, “They were the one that got away”?
This isn’t exactly true. If they “got away”, for one reason or another, they didn’t mesh with our life.
Like a puzzle, some pieces clearly don’t fit while others appear to until we look much closer and observe with a keen eye.
Look around at the people in your life; our tribe, our community, our circle, whatever we want to call them, are there for a reason.
We’ve chosen them and they’ve chosen us.
We fit because we both chose to make it fit.
In our own unique, weird, off-the-wall way, we fit.
There’s no need to force the pieces.
The puzzle comes together effortlessly.
Free Your Mind
What have you changed your mind on in the past year?
Growth isn’t about doubling down on our beliefs and digging our heels in but recognizing that there is a big world out there filled with new ideas and different perspectives.
It’s not that we have to believe it all but we ought to be willing to listen.
Acceptance and gratitude become the guideposts to follow.
An open mind is our catalyst to change.
Slow The F Down
Why are you going so fast?
Where are you trying to rush to?
Have you considered what you’re missing out on right now?
Look around, smell the roses, and take in the fact that you get to be in this moment.
Soon enough, it’ll pass us by.
Sparklers
One hour.
One minute.
One second.
One new idea.
One purposeful decision.
A spark that lights a thousand future flames starts with one cataclysmic moment.
We can’t agonize about a year out or five or even ten.
We need to focus on today.
On the present.
On right now.
This could be the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
If we’re willing to seize it.
F.O.M.O.
Replace “Fear of missing out” with “Joy of missing out” and a next level mindset shift happens.
We begin to choose ourselves.
Happiness flows from there.
Day Of Rememberance
On this day last year, do you remember what you were worrying about and losing sleep over?
Today’s worries will most likely be like that, eventually.
They’ll feel bigger at the moment but hardly make a dent in your memory.
Most are insignificant.
Accept that the worry will be there but be willing to let it go before it sours our mood and adds unnecessary stress to our life.
Because this too shall pass.
40 Is The New 30
When I was 30 years old I was:
- Entitled
- Complacent
- Unorganized
- Undisciplined
- Closed-minded
- In loads of debt
I’ll be 40 this month, and none of the above is true anymore.
Change doesn’t happen instantly but it’s making the commitment to change that is the catalyst to produce profound results.
If you don’t like where you are I have great news.
You are in control.
Are you willing to commit to changing it?
One Step Away
Some people slow down running toward 1st base.
Others run full speed straight through the bag.
Knowing who we are can inform us where we are starting from. It doesn’t mean we can’t change if we want to.
We’re only one decision away from changing the entire trajectory of our future.
Not a hundred decisions.
Just one.
The next one is all that matters.
Make The Attempt
Failure is just an attempt. Let’s not romanticize it anymore otherwise, we overthink trying.
We failed to talk until we didn’t.
We failed to walk until we didn’t.
We failed addition until we didn’t.
We failed to ride a bike until we didn’t.
We failed to throw a ball until we didn’t.
We’ve failed countless times so why is this next attempt any different?
We are better off because of all of it; the success, the learning, the pain, and the suffering.
Nobody is throwing a perfect game in life.
Just act like we’re playing catch in the backyard.
It’s supposed to be fun even if we make a poor attempt from time to time.
Clear And Present Happiness
Can we honestly say to ourselves, “I’m happy today?”
If we can it’s important to understand why? What is happening or has happened where we feel this moment, right now, is a moment of happiness? We can’t repeat it exactly but we can work to replicate it again and again.
The same holds true if the answer is “No”. Why aren’t we happy? What are the contributing factors to unhappiness?
Recognizing these puts us in a position to learn what isn’t serving us and navigate away from it.
Happiness is a feeling, a moment, a benchmark in a time of stress-free living.
Are we willing to do the work to understand how we can create more of this?
Just Go With It
There’s no downside to going for it.
Best case, you get the thing you went for. Worst case, it was a complete and utter train wreck.
But here’s the thing, the worst case is forgotten much quicker than the regret of not doing it.
Regret lingers. It stews. It’s like the annoying neighbor that overstays their welcome.
Putting it out into the universe is the only way to go. We can make up stories in our heads but we don’t know what happens until it happens.
We have to act and let the universe work as it does.
No promises about the result that comes out of it.
But even failing spectacularly is much better than the alternative.
Community Builder
As the 2023 CrossFit Open kicks off, I was thinking about my 5 years at CrossFitRTP and the incredible community we have there.
This quote came to mind…
“Home is when people notice when you’re not there” – Alexander Hayman
It always feels like home walking in there.
People from different walks of life come together for similar reasons.
To feel welcomed and supported.
To build a stronger mind and body.
To prove that they can do hard things.
Wishing everyone finds a place that they can call “home”.
Ultra-Marathon
Play the entire game and add it all up at the end.
This is a mantra we’d all stand to benefit from.
Too often when we think we are “behind” it knocks us off our balance and bruises our ego. We throw our hands up and say, “What’s the point? I’ll never win.”
What is “winning” anyway?
Is it the physical prize at the end or is it the incalculable growth we made by pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone and into a new dimension of learning?
Far too often we are disappointed with the perceived “L” but fail to recognize it’s priming us for something bigger and better up ahead.
All of these reps are going to pay off for us, eventually.
We may not win this leg of the race but rest assured we’ll be prepared for the next.
Don’t give up before the race is over.
Wait But Why?
I used to be the “I’ll get started on Monday” type.
I became the “just get started now” type.
That single mindset shift changed my life.
I promise it’ll change yours, too.
Throw The Change Up
If we don’t like our shirt, we change it.
If we don’t like our job, we get a new one.
If we don’t like our relationships, we end them.
If we don’t like our thoughts, we can change them, too.
We do become what we think about.
Negative thoughts create negative actions.
If we change the way we think our whole perspective, attitude, and life can shift dramatically.
Sometimes oversimplification is what we all need.
Being Human
One of the more liberating thoughts we can have is knowing that not one single human being has life figured out.
We all struggle with insecurity
We all compare ourselves to others
We all go through periods of depression
We all think we aren’t close to good enough
We know we’re going to fail
We know we’re going to fuck things up
We know we’re going to beat ourselves up
Accepting these emotions frees us up to be fully present and aware.
Willing to give it our all knowing there’s a good chance it might not work out.
The effort is all we can control.
We figure it out from there.
Exercise Discipline
It doesn’t matter your age, sex, economic status, ethnicity, GPA, IQ, or any other factor for that matter.
Discipline is a skill everyone has the opportunity to learn and utilize.
It doesn’t mean we won’t fight excuses or resistance, or never get stuck again.
Those things are inevitable.
But, discipline helps us:
Commit to change
Articulate our vision for the future.
Ignite our sheer determination and willpower.
It allows us to find focus and fulfillment where we were scattered and distracted before.
Discipline takes practice and patience to develop but it’s one of the most useful skills we’ll ever come to learn.
A New Hope
It’s hard not to be a “prisoner of the moment.”
We uncover neat experiences.
We discover new opportunities
We are wowed by new people.
Unfortunately, one of the more difficult things in life is to accept that these don’t always last.
That although we might create great memories, these moments pass by.
That shouldn’t make us sad. It should give us hope.
Hope that more will be around the next bend.
Hope that we will continue to recognize these as they present themselves.
Hope that as we grow so will the value of the experiences, opportunities, and people we encounter.
We could be sad that the moments are ending or we could be grateful that we had them at all.
We choose our path. What happens on it is sometimes out of our control.
All we can do is embrace the moments that come our way because we never know how long we have them.
The Happiness Factor
When we are growing up we have a tendency to want more.
- More toys.
- More snacks.
- More video games.
- More time playing with friends.
What is hard to understand in those formative years is that the “more” we crave adds unnecessary responsibility and stress to our lives.
Unfortunately, we carry this into adulthood.
We think we want:
- More money = Working more hours
- More “toys” = Needing to make more money to pay for them
- More status = Needing the newest and most luxurious toys to stand out
Inevitably, there comes a time when most of us realize we have it backward all along.
What we really want is:
- More time = Eliminating wasted efforts
- More freedom = Choosing the type of work that fulfills us
- More belonging = Building deeper meaningful relationships
The person with the most “toys” doesn’t win. It’s because they’ve lived a life always wanting more and were never grateful for all they had in the first place.
They were never grateful for the important things:
- More time
- More freedom
- More belonging
If we are looking to become happier these become a great place to start.
Version Control
What was the 2013 version of ourselves doing back then?
What do you think the 2033 version will be doing?
We’ve come so far.
Imagine what some focused effort and decision-making can do for us over these next 10 years.
20 years into the future, our 2013 version will come to be unrecognizable.
The Waiting Game
There is no timeline.
Stop beating yourself up if you haven’t:
- Gotten traction yet
- Gotten that promotion/raise
- Met that significant other
- Found your purpose
- Figured it all out
The journey is the fun part. If it was easy would you really want to sign up for it? It’d get boring rather quickly.
Enjoy the process of discovering yourself and creating new opportunities by doing.
When it happens it’ll happen.
Stop hurrying.
You can’t force it.
Tighten The Screws
Often times it’s not a big change that has to be made.
It’s a tweak.
A slight pivot.
A minor movement forward.
One more turn of the wrench.
Progress happens through tiny intentional iterations.
Make a small change and see how that helps.
Then maybe another after that.
Before long we’re on a new path forward.
Progress, not perfection.
That minor tweak in thinking is substantial.
Opposites Do Not Attract
This cliche needs to be put to bed.
Sure, people with different personality traits, musical tastes, hobbies, and social skills get together all the time. Many of them become happy in the long term.
When we look from the outside and think they are “opposite” it takes our focus off what matters most.
They have aligned values.
They live by their virtues.
They share a vision.
They may be interesting and intriguing and have a different lens they look at the world through. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are “opposites”.
If anything, they are more alike than they give themselves credit for.
Brave The Elements
Starting is the hardest part.
There’s no denying that.
Whether starting something brand new or beginning from the starting line again.
Starting is unknown. And that scares us.
We have to venture out into a wilderness not seen before, take big risks, and deal with the harsh emotions that come with it.
As much as it’s a daunting task, what should scare us more is the complacency that comes from sheltering in place, barricading the walls, and covering the windows.
With being okay with the status quo.
When we are afraid to start we have to imagine what the regret might feel like if we don’t.
That premonition might be all the nudge we need to kickstart us on our journey forward.
Goodbye For Now
Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever.
It might be for a season or two.
For the cosmos to align again.
To see if it’s truly meant to be.
The goodbye isn’t the hard part as much as us forgetting the person when they’re gone.
If we’ve kept them alive in our hearts we can pick back up where we left off when we see them again.
Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever if we are willing to keep the flame burning.
Time passes but everlasting love feels like it hasn’t aged at all.
Fulfillment Center
We are happier more often when we’ve found fulfillment in life.
When we have a responsibility or purpose.
When we have a grasp on things.
How do we find fulfillment?
Start with these questions…
What activities make me feel the most alive?
When I need energy I ____?
When I lose track of time hanging out, the qualities those people possess the most are ____?
When I do ____ I normally don’t feel as good about myself?
I get most excited when I do ____?
The answers to these bring us closer to understanding ourselves.
Closer to accepting reality.
Closer to finding clarity.
Self-awareness becomes the accountability mirror we need to be staring into each day.
Class In Session
I’ve been fired.
I’ve been bullied.
I’ve been injured.
I’ve been rejected.
I’ve been divorced.
I’ve been cheated on.
I’ve been broken up with.
I’ve been made a laughing stock.
I’ve been cast aside countless times.
I’ve been physically and verbally abused.
But most of all I’ve been resilient.
Life is not about how we handle the best moments but our attitude when we encounter the worst.
Pain becomes life’s greatest teacher we just never know when class will be in session.
Free Lunch
Things that are free are mostly taken for granted.
Our mind.
Our body.
Our relationships.
We only realize how important they are when they get taken from us.
Until we can no longer have them in the same capacity as before.
Sometimes the most priceless things in the world don’t cost a thing.
Started From The Bottom
Starting back from the beginning is one of the hardest parts of life.
We question whether the investment was worth it.
But are we really starting over? Is this the same starting point?
We fail by not acknowledging all of the work we put in.
The mental and physical energy.
The struggle and sacrifice.
The commitment.
The learning.
Whether we succeed or fail is only how we define those terms.
What is a success, really, but an opportunity to pursue a fulfilling life?
Then why is trying a failure?
We have to see what’s there.
We have to see what can be accomplished.
We have to see what’s even worth it.
We’ve tried countless times in life and have failed spectacularly.
It doesn’t mean it hurts any less but it was necessary for our growth.
We should pick ourselves back up. Dust off. And get back to the next attempt.
Because we should consider ourselves lucky to even have one.
Growth Metrics
Life is not always kind but walking through the darkest alleys lets us know how bright we can shine.
Knowing how much pain we can endure and still push forward, stronger.
Embrace the pain and find a level of gratitude for all it is teaching us.
Our growth is vastly accelerated by having to go straight through it.
Stranger Danger
A hard part about raising an adolescent child is their transition from thinking the world is always kind to realize there is a dark side to life.
It’s a truth we know is coming, as parents, but one that is difficult to accept. We have two paths.
Avoid the conversation and suppress their curiosity or lean into the discussions with warmth and honesty.
It might be better to prepare them for a realistic future and provide the tools to handle those situations versus overprotecting them where they never learn how to protect themselves.
It’s a fine balance but one that we have to be willing to take.
It’s better than the alternative; them wandering the wilderness alone without any knowledge of what to do if danger appears.
The Success Trap
We have a hard time getting off the starting line because we haven’t defined what success looks like.
“Success” is often defined in the mainstream as lots of money, a big business, luxury toys, enormous houses, or exotic trips. People who are deemed “successful” may have fame or notoriety.
But is that your definition?
It might be staying healthy and fit.
It might be walking your kids to school.
It might be having the ability to help others.
It might be freedom to live where you want.
It may be doing things that give you ultimate joy.
Success can be a lot of different things.
When we are working off of someone else’s definition we become stuck.
Create your own and notice how your decisions and focus change.
You now have a clearer direction to move in.
It becomes much easier to start that way.
New Year New Me
This New Year let’s not say “New Year, New Me” because change doesn’t happen like that.
Change happens by moving intentionally and incrementally forward.
It’s building one good habit after another.
It’s becoming self-aware and accepting of ourselves.
It’s giving ourselves space and expanding our worldview.
What might be better to say is, “I’m going to work continually to be disciplined this year in the areas that I’ve uncovered aren’t serving me anymore and lean into better decisions, perspectives and relationships. I won’t always get it right but I’m going to learn and keep improving.”
It’s important to start and let the changes come progressively over time.
This way, when the next year rolls around you can confidently say “New Year, New Me”
Mental Reset
Don’t beat yourself up if you need a long break.
It’s good to take a whole mental health day to reset (maybe a few).
Stepping away provides a perspective we wouldn’t get if we were always on the go.
Those moments of stillness bring us the clarity we need.
They bring balance back to our lives.
They reenergize us and help us move forward again.
It’s a practice we should institute often.
Do Or Do Not
Once we try it we can’t untry it
Once we see it we can’t unsee it
Once we meet them we can’t unmeet them
Instead of regretting not taking the chance, we can appreciate our attempt.
We can never predict the outcome.
We can only connect the dots looking back and see if it worked out.
So, I urge you to try.
In the end, it might be painful but the lessons learned become incalculable.
Priority Shipping
We have to stop saying we don’t have the time.
We have time.
We don’t have it as a priority.
If we did, we’d accomplish it. It’d be the first thing we check off the list.
Often, the thing that is most important to us might also scare the hell out of us. So, we find reasons not to do it. We push it aside. We say we’ll get it done tomorrow.
Most of the other stuff on our list isn’t of high priority. It can wait.
We have to stop putting our dreams on hold for another day. For the time when we feel ready. We’ll never be fully ready. We’ll always have doubts. We’ll always question the path forward.
We have to start anyways.
Put all of the other shit aside for a moment.
Accept what is truly important and spend time on that, every day, even if it is just for a few moments. Advancing it forward, at a slow speed, adds up over a long time horizon.
But we never move off the starting line if we don’t actually start.
The Best Part Of Waking Up
What is it about a warm cup of coffee that makes us feel good?
Maybe it’s the taste first thing in the morning.
It definitely hits the spot.
But how much it is about the memories? Whether we drink it daily or periodically, there’s always something about that first sip.
It’s never rushed. There’s a moment of stillness. A heightened level of joy as it hits us.
It’s an instant flashback to hundreds of moments; an after-dinner coffee with friends, a fresh cup while standing on the first tee, or overlooking the mountains on a crisp morning.
That first sip brings us back. Back to the simple things in life. Back to times when we were present.
At that moment. When nothing else mattered.
Maybe it’s just a sip of coffee. Who knows.
Finding that peace, joy, and stillness, throughout our day, however, we can get it, should be something we all strive for more often.
Balance The Books
In business school, we are taught about balance sheets and formulas and all of the different ways to help determine the health of our business and our future outlook. Simple things like Assets (things we own) and Liabilities (things we owe). Those are the basics of balancing the books.
If we were to use this metaphorically for our overall health, would we be confident we’d be in a position to succeed?
If the assets were actions we took to fuel our body and mind, are we putting enough into each day to own the outcome?
If liabilities are things detrimental to our health, are we moderating or removing these altogether?
We can make the excuse that we are busy and life is going a mile a minute. It does, at times, appear this way. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make calculated decisions for our long-term health.
The choices we make today impact us months and years down the road. Small wins, each day can lead us to a better future.
We have a choice whether we are creating assets in our lives or adding more liability to our future selves.
The choice is clear but the work can be hard.
Start easy, make it achievable to accomplish, and start today.
Our future selves are banking on a brighter tomorrow.
Peaceful Protest
Where do we find peace?
Is it in the early mornings before the world wakes up?
Is it when we can find any quiet place?
Is it on a walk around the block?
Is it in deep conversations?
Peace means stillness. It means serenity. It means our minds feel balanced and free.
When we become frustrated we must stop and ask ourselves how we got here.
How have we given this time to everyone else and not ourselves?
Our lives can be very chaotic and we must find these pockets of peace.
We need that time. It’s precious. It balances us.
We schedule out many other seemingly insignificant tasks and meetings, surely we can put something on the calendar for our mental health?
Call it our “Personal Peace Practice” if we must and plan time every day.
It’s mandatory. It can’t be missed.
Soon it’ll start to be the one we look forward to over all others.
Fountain Of Youth
I often hear older folks say “I wish I was ___ years old again”
What they fail to realize is that eating nutritious food, working out, and sleep are levers that can be pulled to slow or even reverse aging.
They are equivalent to the “fountain of youth”.
They make us feel young and vibrant.
It’s not that we should wish we were younger again but that we are much wiser with our decisions now.
These types of decisions are always in our control.
Less But Better
Today I deleted over 30 apps from my phone.
They weren’t serving me anymore.
They were weighing me down.
A lot of life is like that.
We sign up for things because we’re scared to say no, we hoard things because we think we might need them, and we bottle up old feelings thinking they are benefitting us.
In Greg McKeown’s bestselling book, “Essentialism” his main thesis is this…
“Less but better”
How can we all apply this in our lives?
Eliminate things that are unnecessary and prioritize the things that bring us fulfillment.
Hang out with fewer people but have deeper relationships with them.
Commit to fewer projects but become a master at those few.
Focus on fewer thoughts but expand on the most worthy ones.
Priority is not supposed to be plural.
We need to stop overwhelming our plates with more than we can handle.
Try “less but better” and see how we do.
It might be one of the most freeing things we’ve ever given priority to.
Set Us Free
Sometimes life can be confusing and the easiest thing for us to do is make up a story in our head of what has happened.
But, we have to catch ourselves.
We can’t assume we know. We can’t assume we have the answers. We can’t cloud our minds with our imagined stories of what may have occurred.
We can only control our reaction to the situation, any situation, and keep a calm head about it. It doesn’t mean we can’t be nervous, anxious, or confused.
Those are real human emotions and we must recognize these feelings are important to have but we should counterbalance them by posing a simple question.
“Is it true?”
If we can be honest with ourselves we may find that the truth doesn’t align with how we are perceiving the situation. Our stories become fantasies and make-believe,
It opens us up to letting those feelings subside and no longer control us.
In this case, the truth can set us free.
Cringe-worthy
I was nervous and excited to hit “launch” on Episode 1 of the Just Get Started Podcast 5 years ago in 2017.
Today, I cringe a bit listening back to that first episode.
So many things I’ve learned in those 5 years.
So many accomplishments.
So many mistakes.
So much growth.
If we don’t cringe at our past work it probably means we haven’t progressed that far ahead.
But after we cringe, be grateful we took the chance on ourselves when we might not have been fully convinced this was the right choice.
There we so many unknowns but we started anyways.
We should be proud that we have the opportunity to cringe.
It means we’ve become a better version of our past selves.
We’ve scaled another summit we never knew was ahead.
Bravo!
Now, keep going!
Fairytale Ending
We worry because we care. That’s human.
We might care about what might happen or about someone’s well-being or a myriad of other things.
Worrying is the act of suffering now for a future state we are unsure of.
It is based on stories we are making up in our heads.
It’s almost never helpful because worrying tends to trend toward the negative. Rarely are we making these stories up with a fairy tale ending?
We think it’s helpful to play the various simulations in our head, but more times than not, the stories don’t end up exactly as we planned them anyways. They almost never do.
We never truly know what happens until it happens.
We may not be able to fully stop our worrying but we might consider combating the negativity by creating a more positive outcome of that future state.
Something that moves away from doom and gloom and becomes more sunshine and rainbows.
Because if we’re going to fabricate a story of something that hasn’t happened yet wouldn’t it be better to give it a more optimistic plot twist?
That Thing You Do
It’s only about doing.
Thinking is important.
Planning has relevance.
Ideation is helpful.
The “doing” becomes what matters the most.
Without the doing, nothing else matters.
Just start and keep iterating as you go.
Mr. Irrelevant
Growing up, I was never the first pick. Rarely even the 2nd or 3rd.
Luckily, I was just tall enough to avoid being the last person picked.
I was average. I blended into the background. I didn’t look the part.
But, when you got me on your team you knew what you had very quickly.
I loved to play. I gave an “all-heart” effort. I didn’t mind doing the dirty work and bumping elbows. I’d dive for the loose ball. Grit and determination were my strengths.
Maybe I got lucky growing up with an older brother that made things hard on me. Who was always tough to beat because he was bigger and stronger. Someone I never expected to give me an inch, and he never did.
I didn’t know it back then but the qualities I gained through childhood have served me well.
It doesn’t always matter what you look like from the outside or how you might “stack up” against those beside you.
It’s what happens when you get your chance to get in the game.
How do you perform?
First In Line
We all experience the first-day jitters.
First time speaking in front of an audience.
First day of a new school year.
First time getting in the game.
First date.
The first day of anything new can make us feel all the things.
We’re not different than anyone else. We’re human.
Embrace being nervous and get excited about what could come of it.
Nothing great happens until we experience it firsthand.
Ageless Wonder
Age is just a number. It’s meaningless.
If we believe that then we can push ourselves to the limits every day.
We can expand our minds.
We can become who we’ve always wanted to be.
It takes hard work, determination, grit, and focus.
It’s not a number on the calendar that is stopping us.
It’s ourselves.
But we can push through, we can achieve, and we can thrive.
We just have to get started.
And show up each day.
Age doesn’t determine that.
We do.
Flower Power
Take a seed out of any food we are eating and place it on the table.
Don’t do anything to it and let it sit there for a few weeks.
Do you know what happens?
Almost nothing.
Do you know why? Because there needs to be some action to create change. There needs to be some focused effort for growth to take place.
That seed is a metaphor for every idea we have in our heads that we want to pursue but we don’t.
It just sits there. It toys with us. It slowly dies each day.
But what happens when put the tiniest amount of effort toward that seed?
If it’s laid inside a wet paper towel it’ll start to sprout.
If it’s buried in some soil it could plant some roots.
If it’s placed outside in the sun it might start flowering soon enough…Just like our ideas.
They just need a little love. A little attention. A little light to be shined upon them.
And then, in time, they can become something we never could quite fathom.
They blossom into the most beautiful thing we’ve ever seen.
It’s real. It’s spectacular. It’s ours.
We’ve created it and it should give us the courage to create again.
One small step at a time is all it takes.
But we have to take the first step otherwise we might be wondering if this thing will ever turn into anything special.
It will.
We just have to give it a chance to grow.
We’re Talking About Practice
I want to talk about practice. Not the game, not the game we all love but practice.
Practice can be anything preparing us for the “game”. Thinking, reading, studying, and testing.
Getting uncomfortable.
Trying to imagine situations and getting ahead of them.
In practice, we break down a specific area and piece them together. We work on one aspect hard and then move on to another. There are also times when practice becomes a simulation of sorts. A run-through of an event that hasn’t taken place.
In the game, far too often we “wing it”. We show up unprepared for the conversations or the action we need to perform.
We think that just being there is enough. It’s not.
Being thoughtful about where we want to go can be the guidebook to prepare us for that journey. It can influence the things we do leading up to and during any situation.
But we have to be willing to put in the work. That’s how we make things feel fluid and easy. It’s all the hours of preparation prior to the game.
That preparation sets us up for success. That leads us to make better decisions at the moment.
Because we’ve already been preparing long before the moment arrived.